u/Robin-Rainnes

What’s the point? I don’t fit in with my cis girl friends cause I was born male, I don’t fit in with other trans girls around me because I’m black. I’m an autistic retard who lost all of her college friends because I’m a worthless subhuman incapable of human connection. My family thinks I’m a freak and I have to pass and go stealth just to be accepted because being a black autistic tranny is basically asking to be ostracized or killed. And yeah I can pass but I’ll never be considered pretty the way white girls are. Nobody will ever choose me over a white woman or a cis woman. I’m defective with a disgusting body. It’s humiliating how my friends know I’m trans. Oh look at the disgusting brown-skinned freak with male genitalia I bet she has a bbc or dark areolas.

Literally done. I cannot live anymore. I refuse to live in a world that hates me. Cis people and transphobes won and their prize is my corpse which’ll probably be buried under my deadname or just left to rot if I’m lucky. I’m a worthless fucking waste and I’ll never be loved or wanted. I deserve to die since I’m such a fucking retard

I had one shot at life and I was born the lowest of the low. A literal subhuman freak inferior to everybody else. I could’ve been born normal but instead I’m a gross unlovable freak. No wonder I’ve been abused, raped, and tortured most of my life. I practically deserve it for being so worthless and disgusting.

At least I won’t procreate and create anymore genetic abominations like me

Genuinely been spiraling over how my abusers, my shitty family, former friends, classmates, bullies, basically everyone that’s done me wrong or treated me bad lives a better life than I do. They all have families, they all have communities and tons of friends, they all have social safety nets and better jobs or careers. They all are loved or romantically involved. They’re superior to me. I lost in life.

My rapist has a girlfriend. She doesn’t know that he raped me when I was in middle school and filmed it. She doesn’t know that he has multiple victims or that he ruined my life. He’s beloved by his family and community. Doesn’t matter than he distributed videos of my rape among his friends, humiliating me.

The school therapist and the school resource officer I reported my rape to never reported it. They got to have long careers. I bet they have children. They had spouses. I don’t really keep up with them but I can already intuit they’ve got superior lives to me. Doesn’t matter that my rape happened on school grounds. They were happy to tell me that I was “going to ruin a promising young man’s future,” and never report it despite them being mandatory reporters!

My abusive alcoholic sister has a son and a husband. Everyone in my family forgave her and none of them even slightly care that she beat, manipulated, terrorized and nearly killed me several times as a kid.

My abusive and neglectful parents retired with a bunch of money and get to spend their days doing whatever they want while I stress over bills for the rest of my fucking life.

All of my bullies are loved and belong. Didn’t matter how racist any of them were to me, or how slut-shamey, or how homophobic.

I’m the only person in my world that is as lonely and pathetic as I am. Everyone is fucking better than me and it’s genuinely driving me to suicide. I seriously don’t see how my life can ever measure up to anyone else’s. I can’t even feel good about my friends because all of them are better than me. Intact families, loved by people, have communities. I’m an island in my world. Nobody sees or notices. Nobody cares. I don’t belong and I never will. It’s no wonder everyone eventually abandons me. I’m pathetic scum and it’s not a surprise I’m at rock bottom

I was born a punching bag

I think it’s just because I’ve been talking about it in therapy, but I’ve been thinking a lot about hypersexuality. I guess I just wanted to share my story and see if anyone else relates

It happened after I was raped very violently by a high schooler and had CP made of me when I was 12. My school didn’t care when I told them and my very Catholic parents would’ve either kicked me out or shamed me for eternity so I never told them either.

I became incredibly hypersexual afterwards to cope with the trauma. I basically became sex obsessed. I was constantly fixating on what happened to me. I watched and read violent porn, I started sexting and chatting with older men aged 17-23, sometimes even older. I even met with some. I would sneak out, at 12, to hookup with men much older than me. Usually high school or college aged men.

One guy was 21 and gave me alcohol, getting me drunk before he had sex with me. Another guy was 23 and had firearms in his room and coerced me into sex without a condom. Another guy was much older, maybe in his 30s, and he locked me in his car and then forced himself inside me. I have tons of stories like this especially from aged 12-14 and age 18-now.

Everytime I felt so disgusting and used. At this point I don’t remember how many men have used me and I’m only in my 20s. I get stressed and depressed and suicidal and then suddenly my sex addiction takes over to make me cope. I’ve never even had sex with anyone I’ve loved before. I have the most messed up relationship with sex and it makes me feel like a disgusting object.

I basically whored myself out to cope and now everyday I live with the consequences. I feel horrified at what was done to me and how many men felt comfortable violating and taking advantage of me. Even worse, none of the adults in my life noticed or cared. When my parents found out I was sexting older men they just broke my phone and yelled at me for being weird and deviant.

Anyone else relate to this? I feel so alone