u/Rocky_Knight_

I found this across an interesting 2008 Pew Research study titled "Women Call the Shots at Home." The survey found that in 43% of couples, women made decisions in more household areas than men, while only 26% of couples showed the opposite pattern. Even more interesting, this held true regardless of which partner earned more money.

What stood out to me wasn't just the numbers themselves, but how old they are. This survey is nearly twenty years old. Since then we've seen women become more educated than men on average, enter leadership positions in greater numbers, and gain increasing economic influence.

The study raises an interesting possibility: perhaps female leadership in the home isn't some unusual arrangement at all. Perhaps when couples are left to develop their own patterns over time, many naturally gravitate toward women taking a stronger role in guiding household decisions and setting direction for the family. (That was true for both my sets of grandparents as well.)

Of course, every relationship is different, and many couples share decisions extensively. But the data does challenge the common assumption that men are usually the primary decision-makers in family life.

One thing I found myself wondering is this: if surveys were already finding in 2008 that women often had the greater say in household decisions, why do studies still consistently find that women perform a larger share of domestic labor?

Is this because many men avoid responsibility through weaponized incompetence, or are other factors at work?

My therapist opened my eyes to this and since then I've wanted to communicate it to every woman I can.

My therapist explained that malice is always composed of one or all of the three: envy, jealousy, and greed.

All men come from women. All women come from women. Nobody, male or female, comes from a man.

The beginning of every person's universe is fusion with Mother. A small part of a greater universe: that universe is Mother. Even for ~2 years after birth, Child sees Mother as an extension of itself. They are one, one organism.

There is no Father. Mother uses genetic information from a male human to build Child, but that male human could die days before Child is even conceived and it would have 0 impact on Child. The only reason males have influence over Child today is because men have inserted themselves into this dynamic (even inserting themselves into birth itself: look up Louis XIV and how he changed the way all women give birth for his benefit). Studies show it's the involvement of the "tribe", and not specifically Father, which fosters happy, healthy children.

For this reason alone, men envy women. They resent the fact that they were utterly, inextricably dependent on women, and that unlike girls, they can never grow up to become that Creator, that Universe.

Freud spoke of penis envy, but in recent years we have been allowed to give voice to the much more obvious reality: womb envy. The ability to form life. A penis is fragile. A vagina is a ring of strength; a womb a center of creation. Who has more reason to be envious?

In fact, it's possible that for the vast majority of human history, humans lived in matriarchy. It was only natural to worship that which creates life. Keep this in mind: humans have existed for ~300,000 years. We only have recorded history going back ~5,500 years. It's very likely that we are living in a tiny blip in which envious, resentful men have usurped the natural order and we see the results of that all around us: demolition of the ecosystem, slavery, human trafficking, oppression of the innocent by the envious (my therapist also told me white people envied black people, and look how that has played out), horrific wars. Men cannot create, but they can destroy.

Look at the stories men have told themselves. Creator is male, Woman comes from Man, Woman is Evil, Woman is Temptress, Woman is cursed with childbirth ("childbirth sucks anyway, I don't even want to be able to do it!!").

But if you read many accounts of women, they describe childbirth as empowering, painful and yet beautiful. A man declared childbirth to be a curse - and why would he do that unless he was envious?

In their stories, the divine order is God, Man, Woman.

Notice how Man has to write stories and force his narrative upon others. Woman simply is what Man wants to be. Woman is Creator, Woman is Originator. Our truth persists in spite of thousands of years of men attempting to convince themselves of the opposite.

One illustration of this is the concept of 'male lineage'. EVERYBODY KNOWS WHO THE MOTHER IS. Men invented the concept of 'male lineage' because they felt left out. In reality, it doesn't matter who the father is. It only matters that Mother-Child is healthy and happy. This is biological reality. Mitochondrial DNA is passed virtually identically from mother to child and can be traced back thousands of years matrilineally. What do we need male surnames for? The father merely supplies an ingredient, everything else is done by the mother - and yet somehow at the end of it all, the father's name is slapped on the child. Why? Envy and jealousy.

The other massive reason men have to envy women is sexual power.

Men desire women. Women have incredible, undeniable sexual leverage. Every woman could have sex with multiple men a day if she wanted to. In fact, our sexual leverage is so enormous that men will literally pay money to access our sexuality. No woman has to pay money to obtain sex from men.

Of COURSE men envy this.

That's why men call us sluts and whores for having sex. It's not because they think we're inferior. It's because they know our sexual leverage is incomparable to theirs and they hate that.

Nothing else makes sense. How could they spend hours a day viewing naked women and beating their meat to them, while in the same breath cursing these women?

It's only because they hate that these women are so desirable, and have such sexual advantage.

When you envy somebody, you want to destroy her.

Look on Instagram. Look at women making posts simply celebrating their own beauty, and the literal hundreds of men that gather in the comments, utterly ripping her to shreds, shaming her, telling her she's ugly, worthless, a slut, a whore, a cum dump, a public toilet.

That is ENVY. That's what envy looks like.

The other day a group of men called me a whore (mind you I've slept with 2 men in my life) and I replied that having lots of sex and being desired isn't an insult, it's a compliment. The men all viciously replied some variation of:

"Having a lot of sex as a woman makes you a slut, as a man it makes you a stud"

IT'S RIGHT THERE IN OUR FACES. THEY WANT TO HAVE AS MUCH SEX AS WE COULD HAVE, SO THEY TELL US IT'S GOOD FOR THEM BUT SHAMEFUL FOR US.

I'd like to end this post with positivity: When we're faced with somebody who outshines us, we can either choose to envy her, or we can choose to love and celebrate her shine.

There ARE men who choose to love, celebrate, cherish and protect women. And those are the only men I want to be around, personally.