u/Roseheath22

Since she was a toddler and we went to her first dental appointment, my 9 year old has had really extreme reactions to dental care. She used to scream and cry and refuse to let hygienists and dentists do routine cleaning tasks. A hygienist confirmed that she was on the extreme end of the behavior spectrum. We had to go in for extra appointments to work on basic tasks.

She was fine with tooth flossing until she was about 6, and then developed an intense fear of it that lasted for about a year and a half. She’d have major meltdowns if we tried to floss just one tooth. We‘re finally past that stage, and she can tolerate a regular dental cleaning well enough that her dentist said we should be ready to start orthodontia.

We went to the orthodontist to put in an expander, and she freaked out so much that they weren’t able to do it so they sent us home and we went back again today. She said she was going to be able to handle it, but it went just as badly today and they sent us home again. The same thing happens every time she needs to get a shot. Panic and crying and thrashing, multiple appointments, etc.

She doesn’t have much general anxiety and is a pretty happy kid. We kept expecting that she would grow out of this irrational fear, because that’s what doctors and dentists seem to think, so we never took her to a therapist.

I’m feeling sad and frustrated and at a loss. I don’t know how much of this is related to her ADHD, but I was wondering if any of you have had similar experiences and have any advice to share. I asked her doctor if there was a med we could try to help with the anxiety, but advised starting with therapy first. We’re going to take her to a therapist next week.

TL;DR - 9 year old daughter with a lifelong history of anxiety surrounding both shots and anything dental now needs orthodontia.