u/Rough-Condition-2914

Hi everyone! I wanted to ask if anyone can share a classroom code for AP Biology, AP Calculus BC, and AP Physics 2. I will self-study all these, and I want to get started before the semester starts. Also I would really appreciate it if you have any advice for juggling through all these and self-studying for these classes.

(Please be kind to me; I am too sensitive for criticism and going through a really hard time currently. If you have any useful advice, I would appreciate it a lot. Otherwise, please dont say anything :( )

Hi everyone! I wanted to ask if anyone can share a classroom code for AP Biology, AP Calculus BC, and AP Physics 2. I will self-study all these, and I want to get started before the semester starts. Also I would really appreciate it if you have any advice for juggling through all these and self-studying for these classes.

(Please be kind to me; I am too sensitive for criticism and going through a really hard time currently. If you have any useful advice, I would appreciate it a lot. Otherwise, please dont say anything :( )

So for the past couple of years, I've been going through a lot. Unfortunately, death didn't let my family live a peaceful year for so long. I lost loved ones over and over again in such short periods of time. This year, I really wanted a cat, so I started searching shelters and for stray cats. I found one, but just when I went to get her, she got hit by a car because of the negligence of her previous owner. It crushed me, and I stopped searching for a cat. After a while, one of my relatives told me casually she was going to put her cat to street because she is tired of ehr and dont want to deal with adoption cause the cat is compeletely deaf. (mind you she is THE calmest cat ever) I immediatley said I could take her. Our relative told us the veteran said them she would need some surgeries to survive and she would most likely to die in streets. After I took her home, I worked my ass of and found the money needed for her surgeries. She gave me a reason to keep going and do something about my life. She gave me a purpose. She is now compeletly healthy and I can easily say that she saved my life.

I really don't want to make such a dark entity, but I am going to explode if I don't share it with some people.

So I am 16 and the eldest daughter of a struggling family. I've been dealing with diagnosed and undiagnosed mental illnesses like depression, anxiety, panic disorders, and bulimia since 6th grade. I've been diagnosed with severe anxiety, and my psychiatrist confirmed that I go through a very depressive stage and have legit panic attacks. I never had the courage to talk about bulimia because I was too embarrassed, even though I publicly advocate for people who have eating disorders. So my bulimia is not diagnosed since I NEVER mentioned it to anyone. The only reason I am able to talk about it rn is that it's anonymous.

I am generally a very anxious and sensitive person. I am also a huge empath; seeing someone in pain can make my day miserable.

I thought about ending it all multiple times, but somehow I convinced myself not to. But right now, for a long period of time, I feel like I am not going to see the end of my twenties because of these thoughts. Every time I struggle with something, the first thing that pops up in my head is killing myself. I really don't understand why my brain goes there directly, and no matter what I try, I can't stop these thoughts. There is so much that I can't even continue with my life.

I lost my aunt who was like my big sister 2 years ago and still can't get over it as a family. We shared a room and a bed for years and she was the one I turned to when I had something to talk about. Right now I have no one to turn to when I need to share something. I never got to say I love you to her and couldn't even dare to go to her funeral because she died from a heart attack suddenly one night.

I've been "the golden child" my whole life. I've always been the smartest in the room and the most talented. And when that changed, it broke me. I started feeling like an idiot, like a disappointment to myself and a failure.

I want to study in the US, so I try to keep it all together: my notes, extracurriculars, passion projects, club competitions, tutoring, research, and more. I feel a huge responsibility to make enough money to support my family and have a comfortable life for myself after graduating from university in the US. The thoughts about failing, feeling homesick, or feeling less than keep me awake all night.

I also feel excluded from my friend group because I don't go to school that much because of all the AP exams, competitions, and deadlines. They say it's because they don't see me much but I feel like a real friend wouldn't forget about one when they don't see them for a couple of days.

I also get into a lot of fights with my dad; he has a really bad temper and gets mad really easily. I can say that I got that from him. Our dynamic is not like a traditional daughter-father one. We are either SUPPPPPER close and make inappropriate jokes and laugh our asses off or have such big fights that neighbours come to our house to check if everything is okay.

I just want to ask people who experienced the same things and had the thoughts I had. How did you get out of it?? How did you find peace? Is life with peace with yourself possible? If so, how? How do you handle suicidal thoughts? And if you are a mental health worker or something like that, what can I do? I have already been on antidepressants for 3 years and go to therapy once every 1.5 months. I need help.

I really don't want to make such a dark entity, but I am going to explode if I don't share it with some people.

So I am 16 and the eldest daughter of a struggling family. I've been dealing with diagnosed and undiagnosed mental illnesses like depression, anxiety, panic disorders, and bulimia since 6th grade. I've been diagnosed with severe anxiety, and my psychiatrist confirmed that I go through a very depressive stage and have legit panic attacks. I never had the courage to talk about bulimia because I was too embarrassed, even though I publicly advocate for people who have eating disorders. So my bulimia is not diagnosed since I NEVER mentioned it to anyone. The only reason I am able to talk about it rn is that it's anonymous.

I am generally a very anxious and sensitive person. I am also a huge empath; seeing someone in pain can make my day miserable.

I thought about ending it all multiple times, but somehow I convinced myself not to. But right now, for a long period of time, I feel like I am not going to see the end of my twenties because of these thoughts. Every time I struggle with something, the first thing that pops up in my head is killing myself. I really don't understand why my brain goes there directly, and no matter what I try, I can't stop these thoughts. There is so much that I can't even continue with my life.

I lost my aunt who was like my big sister 2 years ago and still can't get over it as a family. We shared a room and a bed for years and she was the one I turned to when I had something to talk about. Right now I have no one to turn to when I need to share something. I never got to say I love you to her and couldn't even dare to go to her funeral because she died from a heart attack suddenly one night.

I've been "the golden child" my whole life. I've always been the smartest in the room and the most talented. And when that changed, it broke me. I started feeling like an idiot, like a disappointment to myself and a failure.

I want to study in the US, so I try to keep it all together: my notes, extracurriculars, passion projects, club competitions, tutoring, research, and more. I feel a huge responsibility to make enough money to support my family and have a comfortable life for myself after graduating from university in the US. The thoughts about failing, feeling homesick, or feeling less than keep me awake all night.

I also feel excluded from my friend group because I don't go to school that much because of all the AP exams, competitions, and deadlines. They say it's because they don't see me much but I feel like a real friend wouldn't forget about one when they don't see them for a couple of days.

I also get into a lot of fights with my dad; he has a really bad temper and gets mad really easily. I can say that I got that from him. Our dynamic is not like a traditional daughter-father one. We are either SUPPPPPER close and make inappropriate jokes and laugh our asses off or have such big fights that neighbours come to our house to check if everything is okay.

I just want to ask people who experienced the same things and had the thoughts I had. How did you get out of it?? How did you find peace? Is life with peace with yourself possible? If so, how? How do you handle suicidal thoughts? And if you are a mental health worker or something like that, what can I do? I have already been on antidepressants for 3 years and go to therapy once every 1.5 months. I need help.