u/Rude-Priority-3597

TW: Sexual assault (?)

Hi all,

Last night my now ex-boyfriend and I were drinking a little. He got me on top of him and kept trying to bring my crotch to his face to see my hair (I hadn't shaved for a week because I am getting a wax soon). I told him "stop" repeatedly 3 times - I don't particularly enjoy the concept of oral sex and I've told him it makes me uncomfortable having my parts near his face - although I was also laughing at the same time because the situation was just so awkward. I was hiding my parts from him with my hands too but he kept trying to bring me close. After the third time I got really fucking mad and yelled at him and went to sleep in the other room. As an additional detail I was clothed (still had my underwear on) and he never actually did oral on me). And I don't think he was actually trying to give me oral, he often teases me in ways like this. When he's actually tried to give me oral and I say no, he backs off.

I don't know whether I am more upset with feeling violated or the fact that it takes him 3 "stops" to stop. He told me he thought we were just having fun and that he was just messing around. Just an hour ago I came home and broke up with him over text.

I am conflicted because this was the longest relationship I've had (2 years) and we've been through a lot together. He has otherwise respected all my other boundaries i.e. porn and has approached these discussions in a really understanding way. I've never really felt unsafe around him, and he is a good boyfriend in almost every other respect, but I am confused about the situation last night.

I feel I made the right decision to break up with him, but in truth I really didn't want to. He really felt like my soulmate up to this point. I would like to know how others would respond to this situation and whether it could be overlooked in the grand scheme of things, because he does mess around pretty often in teasing/joking ways and I'm not sure whether this would classify as sexual assault in that regard. Any advice would be appreciated, thank you.

TL;DR: I may have been sexually assaulted last night and was wondering whether I made the right decision or whether I should have had a discussion about it first. Mostly seeking advice and help with moving forward.