I think it only took me like 1 hour and it was so easy.
How annoying that my upcoming work task is actually hard and will take multiple hours. I wonder how long I can put that one off for?
I currently have an ADHD diagnosis, not BPD, but during my own psychotherapy studies and my own personal therapy for nearly a year now, I am realising just how much my daily battles align with BPD, and suspect I am misdiagnosed.
I was thinking about finding a private psychiatrist that might help me to consider different medication options to try. I'm titrating right now on ADHD meds (Elvanse) and through one of those right to choose ADHD places where the care is like a puppy-mill system and so, very questionable about what exactly its helping with except stopping me from drinking alcohol and binge eating (still a pro I guess!).
Does anyone have advice or experience with private psychiatry and if this sort of help I am asking for is a good idea or realistic? I ask only because I am wondering if there might be medication out there that might work better for me with a much more bespoke and personal approach. I am very lucky that I have the money for this so may as well make bloody use of it.
The London reading group post that I came across here recently inspired me - I was wondering if anyone around the Oxford area would be interested in meeting up once monthly (or more, potentially) to establish a psychoanalysis reading group?
I'm coming up to the end of my foundation course in psychodynamic psychotherapy at the BPF in London and not quite ready to take on a clinical training, but will severely miss in-person discussions with like-minded folks and continuing my learning. However, I don't live in London. Is there anyone near the Oxford or Warwickshire area?
Let me know if this sounds interesting and I'll see about setting up a first meeting in August/September. I can DM you with information if you respond with interest.
If it matters, I am 36F.
I came across a lecture on YouTube by Darian Leader on Freud and Neurodiversity ( https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=aU96XEUSkco&pp=iggCQAE%3D ) and he was a fantastic speaker and I really enjoyed the material. For context I am a just coming to the end of my first year in Psychodynamic Psychotherapy and really fascinated with it and considering further training.
Do you know where I could find online lectures of a similar quality? I am interested in Freud, Jung, Bion, Winnocott, Fromm, Klein, etc. Less interested in Lacan.
Thank you.
This is a crude drawing of an image I have seen in my concious awake mind, sort of flashed in my imagination as I have been experiencing my emotions with more attunement. The archway is dark, and there was multicoloured light emitting from the edges.
For context, I am in 3 x weekly analysis (not with a Jungian but someone somewhat classic, 8 months in) and studying psychoanalytic psychotherapy. My analyst mentioned it sounded church-like, which I agree that it had a stained glass aura to it.
I have recently felt I have started to meet who I am, have been calling it, "her". And experiencing more "wholeness" than before.
I felt this was symbolic of this milestone. I am curious if there are any other things about this image I might consider? I wasn't sure if this was a symbol... (still getting confused by terms) and it doesnt seem like a character?
I am in the process of uncovering all the things I don't want to know about myself and I am in three times weekly analysis.
It's started to get to a point of serious existential experiences and feelings. In trying to face my patterns I have been clinging on to a relationship and I'm getting closer to knowing why I am in it but not close enough to feel certain about what to do. I'm waiting to know for certain for longer since one of my main patterns is to lust for a fresh start and give up on people. But in the mean time this person is my main relationship in life and naturally therefore is very difficult at times to separate myself from them and "keep strong enough" to continue with focusing on my inner things, and not only that but feelings of guilt for being a tough human to be around during all of this. They say they're happy to deal with it the best they can but I find myself not trusting that. The deeply depressing days have started and the "feeling like I am walking around in a dream" sensation is common. I'm going to the gym and doing my job whilst feeling all of these things ok so I am not loosing myself completely.
Whilst I know my questions about the relationship mirror a lot of my own things, I started wondering if its essential for me to be more alone during this time? As I'm constantly having to question where I am at around my partner and that interaction "throws me off" or triggers old patterns.
Any grown up thoughts on this?
(P.s I recommend the book "finding meaning in the second half of life" by James Hollis who is a Jungian analyst)
