u/Sad-Cake-1140

I haven't played a single game today or yesterday and the brain fog is just now starting to lift.

It feels like my negative and positive symptoms are getting worse. I'm turning 30 this year. I've started hearing voices again. My cognitive abilities feel dampened. It feels like my speech is a little bit disorganized too

The dream started with me in my childhood home in my old bedroom. The room looked really creepy and dark like it had been abandoned a long time ago. The door leading out to the hallway was boarded up and I had to push hard to get the door open. When I walked through the door I saw the old staircase leading downstairs. I walked downstairs and saw anthropomorphic mouse people. They told me we've been expecting you and we need your help. Then the dream ended.

I hate that my condition holds me back from doing basic stuff everyone else can do. I hate that even though I got a college degree i can't get even get an interview or even if I do get one I can't speak well enough to pass it even though I have the skills. I hate that the social security check I get isn't even enough to live on because the housing market and rent is fucking sky high in America. I hate that this is the lot life decided to give me. If I can't get a job that can pay the bills in the future I'm going to end up homeless and probably be dead in a ditch. Rant over.

They told me that if I quit it then I wouldn't experience nausea or throat pain anymore from my cobenfy and I didn't experience it at all this morning when I quit so I thought they were telling the truth. I went into psychosis and sounded like an idiot while being interviewed. I started feeling like hurting myself so I took my effexor. Amazon also lost my package today too and we can't get a refund on it.

I think i might be a god or is this a delusion?