u/SadNarwhal7

How long did it take you? We were together for almost 10 years and went no contact about 2 weeks ago, which I realize is not much time at all. However, I’m really struggling right now. Some days seem to be better than others but then I have a thought or memory that takes me back and it’s so painful. For very longterm relationship breakups, how long did it take you to recover and move on?

I’m sorry I lost my temper the other day. I got frustrated because I felt like you were ignoring me all week and wouldn’t get on the phone with me because you didn’t want to tell me that you’d made the decision to live with your parents this summer instead of me. I wanted to talk about that, at least to be on the same page about what it all meant for us, and I never got the opportunity. I kind of figured that’s what was going on by Friday but I was hoping you’d just tell me. When you didn’t, my anger got the best of me and I realized that your parents knew more than I did. In all honesty, I just felt left out of the conversation and embarrassed.

I’m writing this message to say that I’m sorry. After 10 years, you deserve a better goodbye than that. I really love you still and I care about you a lot, and I’m really hurting deeply right now. It stinks when you go through something like this and the whole thing starts playing back like a sad movie. That said, I think you made the decisions that you made because you wanted some space from me and you weren’t happy. You deserve to be happy.

I want you to know that you mean the world to me, and although I had an outburst the other day, I’m not mad at you. I just wish that things could have been different. I have a lot of regrets. More than anything, I wish I could go back in time and fix it all, but I can’t do that anymore. All I can do right now is tell you how sorry I am for everything and tell you how much I hope you get better.

I guess all is said and done, but I want you to know that when you find your footing again, if you ever want to reach out, I’ll be here.

I guess my loneliness journey starts with giving my heart to the wrong person and being with them for 9 years. The past few years of our relationship has involved moving to different cities, which sounded interesting to me, but as a result I lost all of my friend groups in the places I left and was never able to build a sense of community. Things are ending with my relationship, we are no longer living together and I haven’t seen him in 5 months (long story). Now I’m back to a place I lived 4 years ago and most of my old friends here have moved away. I’m in a new city with no one. And yeah, although I have some friends, I’m an introvert and as a result I have probably spoken like 50 words or less in the last week.

I am not young, but I’m 33. I still full of life and full of love. I’m sad that this is where I am right now. At the end of the day, I just feel so so so alone. It’s like I’m in an echo chamber. I just want a hug and someone to watch a movie with.