u/SadTrooper5466

Ik ben een 20 jarige uni student en heb twee weken geleden een heel leuk meisje ontmoet in het jaar boven mij. We kunnen het al redelijk goed met elkaar vinden, vooral over Insta DM maar ook wel offline. Maar we hebben nog niet heel veel offline tijd samen doorgebracht, en ik denk dat we elkaar nog beter kunnen leren kennen. Dus had ik het idee om haar een keertje te vragen om alleen met z'n tweeën op campus af te spreken voor lunch. Niet als een date, maar gewoon als manier om een beetje bij te kletsen en elkaar beter te leren kennen.

Ik zit alleen een beetje met de kwestie of zij al een vriendje / romantische partner heeft. Er is een bepaalde jongen waarmee zij een aantal foto's heeft op haar Insta, die kunnen worden gezien als romantisch. Sommige waarbij ze met een bepaalde "blik" naar elkaar kijken, als je begrijpt wat ik bedoel. En andere waar ze de armen om elkaar hebben, of waarbij ze arm in arm naast elkaar staan. Maar dat doet ze dan ook weer met andere jongens. Toegegeven, al deze foto's zijn best oud (1-2 jaar) dus ik probeer me er niet te druk om te maken totdat er vanzelf duidelijker bewijs opduikt.

Maar gisteravond was ik weer met haar aan het dm'en op Insta. Ze had op haar story een foto gepost van een lego set die ze aan het bouwen was, en ik reageerde daarop omdat ik zelf ook een fan ben van lego. Ze vertelde dat "haar vriend" ook van lego houdt en dat ze vaak samen bouwen waardoor ze het nu ook leuk vindt. Ze was deze set ook met deze "vriend" aan het bouwen trouwens, en het was laat in de avond.

Ik heb nu dus geen idee hoe ik "vriend" moet interpreteren in deze context. Bedoelde ze een romantische partner? Bedoelde ze gewoon een normale vriend? Had ze het wel over een jongen? (ze heeft die vriend nooit bij hij of zij genoemd) Ik weet echt niet meer wat ik moet doen nu, en of het nog wel verstandig is om haar te vragen om dat afspraakje dat ik in gedachten had, ook al was het niet als date bedoeld. Ik zou het echt jammer vinden als ik nu al moest opgeven, want ik vind haar oprecht super leuk.

I have been DM'ing with my crush on Insta, and we were talking about a hobby of hers after she posted about it on her story. She said that she got into it because of her "friend".

But in our language, there are no separate words for regular male friends and boyfriends. So the word "friend" can refer to either. There are separate words for male and female "friends" though, so it's almost certainly confirmed that she was talking about a guy.

I hate how ambiguous this shit is. I've been suspecting she has a boyfriend for a while now. But I never had solid proof, so I decided to not let that stop me.

I was planning on asking her to have lunch with just the two of us to get to know each other better. But if this conversation confirmed that she has a boyfriend, can I even make such a move anymore?

There is this small cafe next to our campus where I (20M) meet up with my best friend from elementary school every so often over some coffee and lunch.

My best friend asked me again recently, which gave me the idea to ask my crush (~21F) to do the same sometime. Not as a "date" necessarily, just as a way to get to know each other a little better.

But would it be a bit too early at this stage? Here's how things stand between us right now:

• We met almost 2 weeks ago through mutual friends and sheer chance.
• She's (kinda) part of my friend group now, but not really active since she is a year above us. Seems that she does like spending time with us though
• She added me on insta one week ago
• One time I very casually asked her to join our friend group in an activity, which she declined. Although lowkey I forgot about that so she might've too.
• We've texted quite a bit over insta DMs over the last week
• During one texting session, she decided to come visit me in the lab to give me a sticker. She felt like I deserved it so she went out of her way to give it to me.
• She's one of the few people who hearts my stories (is that a thing that people do regularly? Most of my followers don't, neither do I)
• Our texting has died down in the last few days
• We've only had limited shared irl time, and in all cases it was in a group setting. Although the one time she gave me a sticker, she specifically came to see me at first.

Given this context, would it be a good idea to ask her to grab a coffee sometime? Depending on when she is available, I'll probably ask her to do this during lunch, much like how I do this with my best friend.

I'll call her D from now on for the sake of the story. Sorry if this post is a bit messy

A few of my friends met D last quarter in their elective class, but I wasn't there since I chose a different elective. One of them (let's call him M) has talked about her multiple times. M told me cool things about her, and that she went on exchange to the same uni that he will go to next semester. I'm also going on exchange, but to a different country. Hearing the things he told me about D, I got very intrigued, and I may or may not have asked him a few times to introduce her to the larger friend group...

Not that it had any effect; I ended up meeting her at random instead. I was walking with M, temporarily split off from other groups when we met her. And damn... she's really cute. M introduced us to each other and she decided to go with us for lunch break. Unfortunately, she couldn't stay for long and she talked mostly with M. But i definitely developed a crush on her from that point on.

She joined our group chat the night before I met her, so she is now kind of incorporated into our friend group. But she hasn't really hung out with us a lot. From what I know, she was with us during that lunch, and she might've been at a BBQ hosted by our study association the evening before I met her, hence why she joined our gc that night. Some of my friends were there, but to my frustration I was occupied already. One of them is inviting us over to his place on Tuesday though, so I really hope that D will be there too.

I'll probably need some help from M and my other friends who already know her, if i want to spend more time with her and get to know her better. How should i approach this? Should I be honest to them about my intentions and my feelings towards D? Or should i keep my intentions for myself for now, and just ask them if they could invite D a bit more?

For context: me and M are 20M. I suspect D is a year older since she is actually in the year above us.