Keep getting struck by the thought that it’s all pointless
I often just start crying because nothing seems worthwhile. About all I have to look forward to in life is watching some TV or a film in the evening and that increasingly just has no pay off. It’s very hard to get motivated because of the idea that it’s all kind of pointless permeates everything. I would prefer to be gone but I’m too afraid to do that and don’t want to hurt anyone I leave behind.