u/Safe_Engineering977

I thought a top was someone who like exclusively gave pleasure but that’s called a stone top and I thought a bottom was someone who exclusively receives but that’s a pillow princess. Idk if I would consider myself a bottom cause I would basically do everything like oral etc but strictly receive strap and not give . What makes someone a top/bottom but not a pillow princess/stone top?

For context I’m 19F who currently lives with very very homophobic religious parents, I always knew I liked women since young but used to claim the bisexual label so if I’m parents ever found out I was into girls I could try argue that im into men too, it was only till like 6 months ago I decided to stop lying to myself and come out to my friends as lesbian. But idk a huge part of me feels so ashamed and I don’t know why, like I don’t think there’s anything wrong with being a lesbian but whenever I have like fantasies and thoughts about women I feel deeply ashamed and see myself as some gross pervert for thinking about women that way , even when I find myself being attracted to a random girl on the street or occasionally a friend I genuinely feel like such a creep. I also feel so guilty about being a lesbian because of my parents cause I know when I come out to them it would literally break their hearts, like I know they are wrong to think being a lesbian is bad but I still feel so bad I can’t like live the way they want me to, even though it’s my own life. Like they imagine me getting a good job and living a nice middle class life with a husband and kids and whenever they mention me marrying a man in the future I feel so guilty cause I while I would love to have a good job and kids I want it with a woman. Idk it’s like they have done a lot for me to the point it actively harms them, like for example university, they pay a lot to financially support me in university which harms them cause my uni area is a expensive town so accommodation is a lot, plus we are working class, my father who is quite old now works more hours and will likely have to work more hours cause my mum is leaving work to get a degree and his work has started paying less. It just feels like I’m betraying them when they have suffered so much for me even though it’s not something I can control, I just feel so deeply ashamed of myself sometimes for not being attracted to men cause I know they will be so hurt

Maybe there’s someone I’m not understanding but if abrosexual is where ur sexuality is fluid , wouldn’t that mean u aren’t a lesbian then? All the people I have seen that claim to be abrosexual lesbians say one week they are lesbian and then another week they are bi and another they are straight, idk to me that sounds like something under the bisexual umbrella, like it also seems harmful saying u switch from lesbian to straight , idk if there’s something I’m getting wrong

Edit: I can’t believe this is something I have to say but lesbians aren’t attracted to men and never will be

Since as long as I remember I have had serious issues with discipline or motivation, as a child I would regularly skip showers and sometimes brushing my teeth , I have never been able to stick to anything long term like hobbies, even when it’s things important , I have never revised long term for exams, from 11+ to a levels I was just really lucky to get good grades. When I got to uni it got worse, barely attending lectures, didn’t do some graded coursework and crammed every exam the night before. I can’t relate when ppl mention hobbies cause I get hyper fixated on stuff then drop it like 3 days later, idk what’s wrong with me I have no discipline or motivation. And now I’m worried, I’m going into second year of uni and now exams will count towards my final graduating grade , I know If I study regularly I would do well but my fear is I won’t be disciplined enough to study regularly cause I have never done that, I’m also worried cause my lack of motivation has lead to a lack of exercise and has led me to gain a lot of weight to the point I have a bmi of 37.5, and I’m worried if I don’t start living healthy I’m going to continue gaining weight and end up even more unhealthy. I feel like such a loser

I’m a university student who just applied to work for go student but I’m hearing tons of complaints about how they don’t pay you, pay is bad , you get fined for missing lessons, just overall negative stuff, and I am trying to aim to make £100 a week but with the stuff I heard it sounds unlikely

Ive rlly noticed a pattern online where ppl would say things that are highkey lesbophobic undertones but word it in such a “woke” tone to kinda hide it, ive seen several videos recently saying “I believe everyone is born bi” or “can’t change my mind but everyone is a bit bisexual” and this isn’t me making generalisations, but all these videos I have seen have mostly come from bisexual women and it was shocking seeing the comments with tons of ppl agreeing. I replied to one that tried to suggest if you are only attracted to people of a specific gender than it isn’t love cause you don’t care about personality which is such a crazy statement, it’s kinda like people are trying to suggest lesbians aren’t real and a small part of us are attracted to men or something but instead of saying that outright they would use some buzzwords to make it sound like a progressive leftist statement. Idk it’s like SOME bi/pan ppl (key word : SOME) can’t fathom the fact that someone can be exclusively attracted to just one gender and then make stupid videos like this.

I just rllyyyyy hate this new idea that’s arising that lesbians can be attracted to men or just acting like lesbianism isn’t real , and it takes form in so many ways like ppl can’t even respect lesbian video game characters?!? I just saw someone make an edit of a hentai of Ellie from “the last of us” (a confirmed lesbian character) having sex with a man…even recently I saw on Twitter a bi woman saying if was a lesbian she would get turned on by the idea of “d*ke breaking” but it’s okay cause her partner is a lesbian and her kinks don’t affect anyone?!?

I used to think lesbophobia was mainly from ultra conservative religious ppl but seeing it seep into the lgbt+ community plus other progressive communities makes me feel rlly uncomfortable and unsafe, hell even one of my bisexual female friends has had stuff to me that felt very invalidating of my sexuality (like the whole “ur lesbian but bi for the right guy bs”), so I don’t like where this current climate is going