u/Saffron_000

I don't understand how so many people normalize abuse—any kind of abuse, even psychological.

I don't understand why, when they see someone comfortable with their apothisexuality—or asexuality in general— People tell you in a strange tone of voice, "Sooner or later you'll have it and you're going to like it," or "That's what I thought, too—now I can't live without it." “Whether you like it or not, it's going to happen.” EW, What is that?! A threat?!

I hate it when people say an asexual person is "in denial."

Why is there such an obsession with convincing them to do something they never want to do?! They don't want to see it, hear about it, or anything!

It’s seriously terrifying when people say, "Well, we all go through that; sure, it’s abuse and it’s wrong, but sex is going to happen whether you want it to or not." WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?! IT’S SCARY—IT’S WORRYING.

I don’t want sex

I don’t want any kind of abuse—in any form!

And I don't want anyone to go through that either!

When a story about abuse comes up on the news or in any media outlet, how can you not get angry?! I hate the way people are treated so cruelly!

Whenever I want to talk about these topics, I just get responses like, "Well, that sucks, but since it’s not happening to me... life goes on." WHAT?

"That excessive empathy is going to kill you; just ignore it."

"ugh I don't know where you came from; nobody around here is like that...." Wtf....

That reminded me of an argument I had with an allosexual person who eventually shouted, "I DON'T CARE ABOUT PEOPLE! I CARE ABOUT WHAT GIVES *ME* PLEASURE AND WHAT SICKENS ME—AND PEOPLE LIKE YOU SICKEN ME. THAT'S WHY YOU END UP ALONE AND BITTER; YOU'RE JUST A MINORITY, I DON'T CARE ABOUT A SMALL MINORITY OF BITTER PEOPLE" Oh my God... She was that kind of person...And unfortunately—and biologically—we are blood relatives....ew

When I try to get emotional support because something scares me—like these kinds of topics—my family ignores it; they say I’m overreacting and tell me to go do something else.

I say, "I don't want to! It scares me to think I’ll be forced into something I don't want! I don't want children! I don't want sex! Why do people want to force others to do things they don't want to do?! It's disgusting! It's cruel! It shouldn't be normalized! " My chest hurts, my heart is pounding so hard I can hear it clearly, and my body is trembling and tensing up! I feel so much anger, too!

But they just reply, "Well, just don't have them, then! Stop making a fuss—just don't leave your room, and that's it!"

Am I trying to tell you that I'm scared and want support, only for you to tell me to isolate myself....?

Even so, I don't view my apothisexuality as a curse or anything like that—not at all. I’m glad I discovered that I’m apothi and that I enjoy soft romance.

Very few fanfics or stories are like that—completely free of sexual content—but when you find one... one that’s well-written and devoid of all that trash... it’s truly enjoyable! It proves you don't need anything risqué to make a story good!

I've wanted to socialize, but...

I don't know; I know that the only person who truly knows what I like, who I am, and who will love and respect me exactly as I am, is myself.

But I really don't know if I'll be able to find someone nice to talk to every now and then—ideally someone who is apothisexual too.

I like being alone; I've learned to enjoy my own company, but I don't like that feeling of isolation. I'm afraid to think that I'll talk to someone and it'll go wrong

I just want to feel safe and confident enough to speak freely, talk about topics I like, and learn new things, like a language or something like that....

There's nothing wrong with me; apothisexuality—or asexuality in general—isn't a mistake, an illness, or anything like that at all... but there are times when I feel tired, very, very tired....

I don't want to be on high alert all the time

When I have intrusive thoughts and that fear that makes my chest hurt and my heart beat very erratically, I don’t know how to calm myself down or steady myself. I want someone to help me with that, but since I know there’s no one there and it’s just me

I end up pressing my hands against my chest or hugging myself tightly. I don’t know why, but the pressure makes me feel a little better, and I end up falling asleep

I just imagine a sweet romance, where there’s mutual validation and emotional support—nothing sexual—where we protect each other, take a peaceful walk somewhere, with no fear, and talk about simple things like “What’s your favorite fruit?” or “Hey, would you like to watch a movie?” “Would you like to cook something together?” or getting to know each other’s love languages—for me, physical contact is limited to hugs and holding hands

But no matter what they say, no matter how hard they try to argue, I don't see anything negative about apothisexuality or asexuality in general; I am not, nor do I have, a curse, they can't make asexuality seem like a bad thing

I hope I'm not the only person this happens to

I’ve wanted to find a romantic partner and make friends, to have a peaceful social life! But when I want to talk to someone or socialize normally, my body tenses up, the words won’t come out of my mouth, my mind completely forgets what I was going to say, or if I write down my thoughts about love and romance, sometimes I feel ashamed of myself and pull away.

I'm proud to be an apothisexual and romantic person, But why does that happen when I want to socialize?!

it also happens sometimes that if someone tries to talk to me, my first instinct is to run away, hide, and isolate myself again.

I don’t know why. I’ve learned to love myself; I’m still discovering new things about myself. I like being apothisexual—I didn’t know I was, but when I found out, it was such a relief!

And I have a specific ideal type. I’ve wanted to socialize; I’ve imagined having a very laid-back social life, talking about the topics I like! Listening to new people, cooking something together (I love to cook), telling them about the projects I have in mind, and sharing my drawings, my favorite cooking shows, and music!

But I still don’t understand why that fear and tension in my body and mind appear—I don’t understand why my mouth won’t speak and my mind goes blank! I don't understand why my body and mind only feels calm when I'm alone and not talking to anyone.

I also know I'm a bit of an introvert, but I don't think introversion causes that—or does it?

Those feelings go away when I go back to the things I enjoy.

Actually, I do like gentle/soft romance, and I have my own concepts about what friendship and love are.

I'd like to say what kind of friends I'm looking for and describe my ideal partner.

I really do know what I want—I just don’t understand why this happens to me. What’s wrong...? Is there a solution or a cure for that? Or is solitude the only thing that does me good? It's so strange to feel this way...

:D hello! apothisexual person here; I hope everyone has a good day.

I’ve wondered about that quite a bit; I’d love to create characters like that—two characters who share a purely platonic friendship, or perhaps they adopt someone together. I’ve seen—and found interesting—cases where platonic friends adopt children and remain just friends! There was this video about two male best friends who adopted a boy because they thought it was a great idea.

To be honest, though, I don’t know anything about character writing, programming, or animation, but I’d really love to know how to structure a friendship like that in fiction—one character being apothisexual and the other being both (apothisexual and apothiromantic).

I have some vague ideas, but it feels overwhelming; I wouldn't even know where to start.

And what would it be? A short animated series? A visual novel? A comic? Stop-motion? I don't really have many friends to talk about this with, either.

I’m someone who enjoys soft romance, and I’m apothisexual.

But I’d like to know what apothiromantic people are like and how to develop a character like that—without falling into clichés like "oh, they're just bitter and distant!" I refuse to believe they're all like that! There are so many types of personalities, identities, and so on; you can't be that reductive about it.

Also, I’m not very good at conveying expressions or what a character really means—I think that’s why I find writing characters so difficult—but as a way to let it all out, it would be nice to see more apothi characters.

:D hi! Honestly, I don't know what to say; I hope everyone is having a good day.

I used to think there weren't any other people like me, because this world has a disgusting obsession with labeling introverts and apothisexuals as "bitter, ill, traumatized, selfish," or whatever else.

The world wants to view all forms of diversity as something negative.

But you know what? I’m proud to be an introverted, apothisexual romantic person!

Solitude isn't a bad thing, folks.

It’s good for the soul, too, and you feel so much better knowing that you enjoy your own company.