r/actualasexuals

It's a disgusting terrible thing no self respecting person would do that.

edit: People seem to think that I don't function as a normal human because I vented my frustration. Awesome really. And that the world being full of sex doesn't affect me in any way. Lol. Lmao even.

The context was my roommate last minute kicking me out of my room that we equally pay for because she wanted to have sex with her boyfriend for the entire weekend. And then crying complaining to me that having sex with him made her want to throw up. And it's not a one off thing either. You should hear the way women feel after sex with men feeling disgusting and violated.

I don't understand how so many people normalize abuse—any kind of abuse, even psychological.

I don't understand why, when they see someone comfortable with their apothisexuality—or asexuality in general— People tell you in a strange tone of voice, "Sooner or later you'll have it and you're going to like it," or "That's what I thought, too—now I can't live without it." “Whether you like it or not, it's going to happen.” EW, What is that?! A threat?!

I hate it when people say an asexual person is "in denial."

Why is there such an obsession with convincing them to do something they never want to do?! They don't want to see it, hear about it, or anything!

It’s seriously terrifying when people say, "Well, we all go through that; sure, it’s abuse and it’s wrong, but sex is going to happen whether you want it to or not." WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?! IT’S SCARY—IT’S WORRYING.

I don’t want sex

I don’t want any kind of abuse—in any form!

And I don't want anyone to go through that either!

When a story about abuse comes up on the news or in any media outlet, how can you not get angry?! I hate the way people are treated so cruelly!

Whenever I want to talk about these topics, I just get responses like, "Well, that sucks, but since it’s not happening to me... life goes on." WHAT?

"That excessive empathy is going to kill you; just ignore it."

"ugh I don't know where you came from; nobody around here is like that...." Wtf....

That reminded me of an argument I had with an allosexual person who eventually shouted, "I DON'T CARE ABOUT PEOPLE! I CARE ABOUT WHAT GIVES *ME* PLEASURE AND WHAT SICKENS ME—AND PEOPLE LIKE YOU SICKEN ME. THAT'S WHY YOU END UP ALONE AND BITTER; YOU'RE JUST A MINORITY, I DON'T CARE ABOUT A SMALL MINORITY OF BITTER PEOPLE" Oh my God... She was that kind of person...And unfortunately—and biologically—we are blood relatives....ew

When I try to get emotional support because something scares me—like these kinds of topics—my family ignores it; they say I’m overreacting and tell me to go do something else.

I say, "I don't want to! It scares me to think I’ll be forced into something I don't want! I don't want children! I don't want sex! Why do people want to force others to do things they don't want to do?! It's disgusting! It's cruel! It shouldn't be normalized! " My chest hurts, my heart is pounding so hard I can hear it clearly, and my body is trembling and tensing up! I feel so much anger, too!

But they just reply, "Well, just don't have them, then! Stop making a fuss—just don't leave your room, and that's it!"

Am I trying to tell you that I'm scared and want support, only for you to tell me to isolate myself....?

Even so, I don't view my apothisexuality as a curse or anything like that—not at all. I’m glad I discovered that I’m apothi and that I enjoy soft romance.

Very few fanfics or stories are like that—completely free of sexual content—but when you find one... one that’s well-written and devoid of all that trash... it’s truly enjoyable! It proves you don't need anything risqué to make a story good!

I've wanted to socialize, but...

I don't know; I know that the only person who truly knows what I like, who I am, and who will love and respect me exactly as I am, is myself.

But I really don't know if I'll be able to find someone nice to talk to every now and then—ideally someone who is apothisexual too.

I like being alone; I've learned to enjoy my own company, but I don't like that feeling of isolation. I'm afraid to think that I'll talk to someone and it'll go wrong

I just want to feel safe and confident enough to speak freely, talk about topics I like, and learn new things, like a language or something like that....

There's nothing wrong with me; apothisexuality—or asexuality in general—isn't a mistake, an illness, or anything like that at all... but there are times when I feel tired, very, very tired....

I don't want to be on high alert all the time

When I have intrusive thoughts and that fear that makes my chest hurt and my heart beat very erratically, I don’t know how to calm myself down or steady myself. I want someone to help me with that, but since I know there’s no one there and it’s just me

I end up pressing my hands against my chest or hugging myself tightly. I don’t know why, but the pressure makes me feel a little better, and I end up falling asleep

I just imagine a sweet romance, where there’s mutual validation and emotional support—nothing sexual—where we protect each other, take a peaceful walk somewhere, with no fear, and talk about simple things like “What’s your favorite fruit?” or “Hey, would you like to watch a movie?” “Would you like to cook something together?” or getting to know each other’s love languages—for me, physical contact is limited to hugs and holding hands

But no matter what they say, no matter how hard they try to argue, I don't see anything negative about apothisexuality or asexuality in general; I am not, nor do I have, a curse, they can't make asexuality seem like a bad thing

there's a lot of negativity around "the curse" of being ace but i think we should also try to look at some of the good , despite the yearning and loneliness.

Remember that allo people constantly ruin their lives and keep relationships with terrible terrible people only for sex, or overlook problems and make bad life choices just for a chance at sex. We don't have to deal with that, and that's already a big benefit

I keep seeing comments of people saying a qpr is either a friendship, romantic and or sexual relationship. I also hear that they also say that alterous attraction is in between platonic and romantic feelings. As someone who has experienced alterous attraction categorizing it is hard, I don’t think I can compare that to a platonic or romantic bond. For me I want to be chosen by them and committed to me. I want to live in the same house as them and raising a kid(s) together, they have to have the same hobbies as me, same personality, no romantic stuff, no sexual stuff. But we have to define what it is. But I am curious how do you picture your ideal qpr? I am also curious about if you see a qpr as a friendship or as it’s own thing like I do?

hi!! I'm home discharged from the hospital after my orchi! (removal of the testicles)! that i mentioned the other day in the subreddit!

im really happy and excited!! no more libido, no more breeding, no more (arent you gonna have kids some day??) just me , and myself!

I was thinking about like, what would i enjoy in a romance, and it's always very silly. It's like, a fantasy prince or princess coming to give me flowers and call me beautiful. I realized my brain doesn't really have a concept of romance or sex, both of those things are quite alien to me and mostly shaped by the books and cartoons i watched as a child. It's weird because like, i have the Idea of what romance should be but it just doesn't match with what anyone would actually call romance, it doesn't come with kisses or anything mode than a bit of handholding, it's chaste and covered in rose tinted glasses, and basically just pretend playing house.

I’m aroace, sex and touch repulsed. I want a life partner. I think of them like a super best friend. I don’t want any type of physical relationship including cuddling and holding hands. I feel like I’ll never find someone who also wants these things. Idk if I’d be okay with them having another partner cuz I feel like I’d just be a third wheel.

I tried an ace dating app like 10 years ago but it seemed like it was full of ace girls and allo incel guys. Maybe I should try again.

Sorry just venting to the void.

4 days ago I thought that safe low-no sex love was possible, he even said that he was demi! We share hobbies and both have mobility issues and I thought everything was perfect but 4 days ago he drops on me that he has a high libido, lost his virginity and got an std late august (we’ve been talking since April) and said it all in a please don’t leave me I’m feeling serious about this relationship way, so I guess my parents were right, I guess the therapist I had at 16 was right, everyone wants sex, I regret breaking up with my ex, with ever thinking he violated me, I led him on, I indulged him, I roleplayed, I agreed to ageplay/petplay and cnc/free use and then took my consent back and re okayed it so many times that of course he was confused! I feel stupid for ever considering myself a rape victim, also before anyone suggests therapy my parents have said no because my agoraphobia + selective mutism are keeping me from making appointments myself and they think I need to grow up and do it myself even though therapy could literally help me with that but it’s my fault they think I’m lazy anyways