u/Samantha-Noice

hey there! as of recently i started seeing a 26 year old guy. we met at work and he asked me out back in december but i had ghosted him and we hadn’t been to each others stores really since so no in person contact. he picked up a shift at my store earlier this month and we hit it off way more and talked non stop. he asked me on another date and it went amazing. apparently he thought i was 21 but said 19 was fine. we didn’t really discuss age or any of that much. my friends are worried for me and think im getting groomed. i don’t know what to believe honestly. i feel it’s fine but maybe im naive.

hi i’m a 19 going on 20 year old woman who’s lived with bulimia for 5 years. i’m technically diagnosed AN B/P due to being underweight but all my behaviors are bulimic. i purge everything i eat. binge 2-3 times a day currently. i did have a couple month period last fall where i was keeping some stuff down but overtime i gained a slightly noticeable amount of weight doing so and freaked out and went back to full time b/p. i mean the purging never stopped being a daily occurrence but i would at least be able to have some safe meals/beverages and some peace. now its all gone again. i’m so fucking tired. i blow an average of 50 dollars a day on food. my enamel is all gone and my teeth are yellow streaked and translucent on the bottom and i just start crying every time i think too much about it. i’ve been taking xanax a lot just to black out and not have to be present for my reality. i’ve been to so many places tried so many things and i always just come back to seeking that b/p high. i love food, but i also love being thin and empty. i purge everywhere and everything. i believe many people are suspicious of me at the moment especially with me losing weight again but i am not open with anyone about actively being in the midst of this still. i am supposed to start university online next month. i’m scared to work less hours to put time into school as that means less money for binge purge food. i’m scared to keep binge purging because my teeth are getting so horrible. i had such beautiful teeth before this. i’m so fucking angry. i’d have so much more money. i’d have such nice teeth. i would see my friends. so many things would’ve been better. i think about ending this all a lot. i am afraid i would fail though and id have even more to be ashamed of. i also dont want to cause more problems for other people. i just can’t keep up with this. what else can i do. i am not eligible for any GLP-1s or stimulant medications due to good morning weight and i am not able to afford anymore therapy and i dont believe that was helping anyways. fuck i’ll take anything at this point

been stuck going on 5 years now. i’m almost 20. i have had 4 res stays, multiple hospitalizations, and now my teeth are beginning to decay and it’s honestly been one of the worst things that’s ever happened to me so far. i work a customer facing role and they see my teeth. i try whitening them and not smiling but it doesn’t do much for me. they hurt all the fucking time. i can’t afford dental care unfortunately. i can’t stop binging purging unfortunately either. kicking the ed doesn’t even feel like it’s on the table if im being honest. i know i know people say recovery is possible this and that and i believe that’s true for many but for me i truly do not believe it is. im sure that belief is part of my issue but i cannot change that belief. i have been consumed. only thing i got going for me rn is im borderline a healthy weight for first time in years but im starting to slip again as my purging has taken a hard uptick again this past month. i hate myself for it. i want to be better than this and go to college, move away to the mountains, be a crazy cat lady, and work with women who are going through domestic violence. i know none of this will ever happen though for as long as im ill, which i believe i always will be. i feel like my future has been lost to this too. if i didn’t want to vomit or be scared of calories anymore i could live such a different life. it makes me so sick to think about. how long can someone actually live binging and purging 3x a day? i’m not seeking validation or anything when i ask that i just genuinely wonder if there’s any information on that. i don’t know what to expect at all for my future except being toothless i guess. fuck

my store manager i swear she has it out for me and i cannot figure out why for the life of me. opened today (am on my 30 rn) and am recovering the store myself from a 2 person evening/close while she does other stuff. there is A LOT to do which isn’t an issue the issue is she’s been raising her voice at me all morning saying i am not improving, i dont listen, i should know this and that, etc. for context i’ve been here 6 months. i open 5 days a week. i receive amazing feedback from everyone but her. i constantly am doing the best i can but i feel like it’s never enough for her. earlier i asked what i should prioritize as often i cannot get everything done myself before peak so i wanted to know what she’d mainly want so i don’t get yelled at again like i did friday for not having all the ice bins filled all the way to top when i had to focus on prep. she immediately raises her voice again and says i shouldn’t even have to ask that and i should know that by now. i started tearing up and just went silent. she then pulls me aside and says i need to drop the attitude and tell her what’s wrong. i tell her i feel like she hates me working here and i literally don’t know how to not have her upset with me. she tells me to get over myself and work and we’ll talk later this week. i just am nodding trying to hold it together and i think the convo is finished after silence for awhile and so i begin to start getting back to work and she says “Okay just walk away.”. man guys i really just don’t know i’m going to get thru this shift at the moment. why is this so hard for what it is. i truly do try my best and i feel like people do see that in general but she just does not like me and it’s making it so difficult. it’s literally only me she treats like this too. just needed to vent.

hello there my fellow baristas. i was hired back in november with an agreed rate of 16 an hour. i have this in writing from my SM. i’ve been getting paid 15.75 though. i have brought this to my managers attention many times now with receipts of these dating back to March 6th. she tells me each time that she’s emailed so and so about it and that they’ll get my we rate updated and back pay to me. all of this is yet to happen. i’m getting really frustrated. i know 25 cents doesn’t seem that big of a deal but when im working 40 hours a week for this place and opening 5 days a week already not making much i want my money! i’m unsure what’s going on even that’s holding up me getting my pay. what should my next steps be? my SSV told me to call ethics but i don’t want to ruffle any feathers. i’m still a green bean in many ways 😭😭😭