u/Sarcastic-Sunray

i’m 23 (f) and getting married in 36 days and i don’t think i can do it.

i was raised in a christian home with very clear expectations of what a godly woman looks like, proverbs 31, submission, being a good wife very trad wife, the whole thing. i do believe in God. that part isn’t fake. i’ve tried to take it seriously.
i got into this relationship partly because friends pushed me toward it. we get along fine. there’s no big drama, no abuse, nothing wrong on paper. he loves me. i know that. i just don’t love him the way you’re supposed to love the person you’re about to marry. i’ve never felt that pull.
i’m going through with it anyway because some part of me keeps hoping that if i do the right thing, if i keep the commitment, if i try to be the wife i’m supposed to be even when my heart isn’t in it, god will see the effort and give me some kind of grace for it later. like maybe the feelings will come, or maybe he’ll just cover the gap.
all my peers who are the same age have already been married for at least a year and a half and most of them already have babies. i feel so behind and so stuck at the same time.
has anyone else ever felt this way? like you’re walking toward something everyone else is excited about and you’re just trying not to throw up?

i’m 23 and getting married in 36 days and i don’t think i can do it.

i was raised in a christian home with very clear expectations of what a godly woman looks like, proverbs 31, submission, being a good wife very trad wife, the whole thing. i do believe in god. that part isn’t fake. i’ve tried to take it seriously.
i got into this relationship partly because friends pushed me toward it. we get along fine. there’s no big drama, no abuse, nothing wrong on paper. he loves me. i know that. i just don’t love him the way you’re supposed to love the person you’re about to marry. i’ve never felt that pull.
i’m going through with it anyway because some part of me keeps hoping that if i do the right thing, if i keep the commitment, if i try to be the wife i’m supposed to be even when my heart isn’t in it, god will see the effort and give me some kind of grace for it later. like maybe the feelings will come, or maybe he’ll just cover the gap.
all my peers who are the same age have already been married for at least a year and a half and most of them already have babies. i feel so behind and so stuck at the same time.
has anyone else ever felt this way? like you’re walking toward something everyone else is excited about and you’re just trying not to throw up?

i’m 23 and getting married in 36 days and i don’t think i can do it.

i was raised in a christian home with very clear expectations of what a godly woman looks like, proverbs 31, submission, being a good wife very trad wife, the whole thing. i do believe in god. that part isn’t fake. i’ve tried to take it seriously.
i got into this relationship partly because friends pushed me toward it. we get along fine. there’s no big drama, no abuse, nothing wrong on paper. he loves me. i know that. i just don’t love him the way you’re supposed to love the person you’re about to marry. i’ve never felt that pull.
i’m going through with it anyway because some part of me keeps hoping that if i do the right thing, if i keep the commitment, if i try to be the wife i’m supposed to be even when my heart isn’t in it, god will see the effort and give me some kind of grace for it later. like maybe the feelings will come, or maybe he’ll just cover the gap.
all my peers who are the same age have already been married for at least a year and a half and most of them already have babies. i feel so behind and so stuck at the same time.
has anyone else ever felt this way? like you’re walking toward something everyone else is excited about and you’re just trying not to throw up?

am i overreacting? When a kid who had a bad situation moved in with us, my dad told me i had to move my little coffee table and chairs in my room, in the garage so he could move his big dresser from the spare room into my room, so this kid could set up a desk in there. i said that’s fine but please please don’t sell my furniture or get rid of, them you always do when it’s in your garage and he said “i wont relax, i told you i wont” and then i went to go look for them and they’re gone i asked my dad and he said “i don’t have a clue” asked my youngest brother and he said “oh yea dad told me to sell them” and i got upset and he goes well i didnt remember. I got upset more and was stressed and telling him he said he wouldn’t and he responded “well now you’re bringing it to my memory, i remember now” and i walked away crying cause that’s all the furniture me and my fiancé were going to have for our apartment. And now he’s upset at me

UPDATE

we talked more about it and he flipped it around told me how disrespectful I am when he asks me to do stuff and i tried to explain i have two Saturdays off a month and I’ve been so busy planning the wedding and trying to keep up with friends that I promise I always am willing to come home and help clean up but that he always catches me when i’m headed out the door.

He told me that I’m disrespectful and that won’t do simple things (after i leave at 7:30 and don’t get home till after 6pm each day) and that I’m a slob and leave all my shit around (even though I’ve been cleaning up my stuff) I tried to explain my views and he flipped it and told me that if i won’t respect him when he asks for something he won’t respect my requests either.

I know i can be better about helping clean up but tbf i clean up my messes and make sure my space is clean once im done)