u/ScarHot7654

For context before any of this we have had a perfect relationship. As of the past couple of months though my girlfriend and I have had a dead bedroom problem. She would say that I wasn’t meeting her needs or making her feel wanted. Any attempt I would make would immediately get shut down and be what feels like being pushed away. 3 weeks ago I brought this up and things did improve. She would constantly mention this other guy who she said was an old friend from her previous job. I have no problems with her having male friends but she also mentioned him multiple times a day. She also said he used to have feelings for her and if he tried anything with her she would shut it down and stop talking to him. One night I decided to look at her messages with him and found he was constantly saying sexual things to her. I confronted her and she said it was only going on for 2 days and she was going to tell me. She did not reciprocate any of the sexual messaging that I know of (it was on Snapchat and multiple snaps were sent between them.) She felt really remorseful and I decided to give her a second chance. Our bedroom life started to decline again and I started to be pushed away so I checked her phone again. I found more messages between them and the guy apologized to which she said no don’t be sorry. I haven’t confronted her yet but was planning to propose soon and I want to marry this woman and feel completely lost about what I should do.

TL:DR
I caught my partner sexting another guy for the second time and feel lost on the situation.

For context before any of this we have had a perfect relationship. As of the past couple of months though my girlfriend and I have had a dead bedroom problem. She would say that I wasn’t meeting her needs or making her feel wanted. Any attempt I would make would immediately get shut down and be what feels like being pushed away. 3 weeks ago I brought this up and things did improve. She would constantly mention this other guy who she said was an old friend from her previous job. I have no problems with her having male friends but she also mentioned him multiple times a day. She also said he used to have feelings for her and if he tried anything with her she would shut it down and stop talking to him. One night I decided to look at her messages with him and found he was constantly saying sexual things to her. I confronted her and she said it was only going on for 2 days and she was going to tell me. She did not reciprocate any of the sexual messaging that I know of (it was on Snapchat and multiple snaps were sent between them.) She felt really remorseful and I decided to give her a second chance. Our bedroom life started to decline again and I started to be pushed away so I checked her phone again. I found more messages between them and the guy apologized to which she said no don’t be sorry. I haven’t confronted her yet but was planning to propose soon and I want to marry this woman and feel completely lost about what I should do.