u/ScritchScratchBrat

Study schedules, mcat/life balance, tips, and in general what has gotten you such a high score in comparison to others

Im anime only btw so please no spoilers.

I haven’t watched shonen in a while, so for all I know all shonen fanbases are like this, but after I watched gachiakuta, i started realizing that the fanbase (idk how it is on reddit) is weird - like the mha fanbase i remember was. Like, im seeing so many people pretty much projecting whatever mental illnesses they have (no offense but yeah) onto everyone in a way that makes NO sense. I saw someone even try to say rudo has fucking autism and would probably age regress?! Like what??????

If im completely honest, it kinda makes me see the show differently even though i know i shouldn’t let fans affect enjoyment. I usually try to stay away from seeing the fandom behind the anime (especially shonen) but with how interesting i felt gachiakuta was i just had to see what people thought, ofc to my disappointment at the immaturity of fans.

Im wondering if anyone else has seen this or felt this way, and if you think most gachiakuta fans are really like this nowadays.

After being in a restrict-“binge” cycle for months, my body eventually snapped and i started eating nonstop past the point it hurts everyday. I realized after a certain point of weight gain thanks to looking it up that this is likely my body forcing recovery, and that i was just going to have to follow. It was an extremely hard pill to swallow because i was terrified of gaining weight. At first i thought i was following my body in letting it eat more, but then i realized i was still restricting in a way because my food noise only got worse, and today despite my spiraling i decided i was just gonna have to go all in. I was never in the underweight category so im struggling with whats normal and whats not. When i say i realize i was still restricting i mean that i was still watching the clock for meal times, watching the scale but “disregarding“ (not actually) it, etc. If i was full (in that i didn’t want more of my current plate) id tell myself “im full, the kitchen food is still there and i can have more later because it won’t disappear“. I thought that was correct but i only have gotten anxiety and now i dont know. When letting everything go (what i thought was binging) ill get full of one plate type but then feel hungry for a different food and just spend the day jumping around the kitchen like that past it hurting and my blood sugar and pressure going so high i feel sick. Whats normal? I feel so confused on how to go about “going all in”? Ill also feel food anxiety, but then take a bite of food and realize i don’t want any (can’t swallow it) and just let it go all to waste. Should i just waste the food if that happens??? Im so lost sorry.

Also what should i expect of the weight gain? does it continue, level out? How long should i expect this all to last until i reach whatever stabilization i end up at? I’ve always been very active and want to become it again once recovered so i also want to know when i can tell its the right time for that? Also what do you guys do about blood sugar spikes and crashes in recovery from all the food? My blood sugar spikes and crashes very rapidly right now and its a nightmare even going to the store without feeling zoned out

For over 2 years i was stuck in a binge-restrict cycle that got worse overtime with me fasting then massively binging at times. Despite it all my weight was stable actually, refusing to go down and because I never gave it option to go up. Near the end of last year i got so tired of not going down that i managed not binging and just restricting down to my goal weight over a month and a half. By the end, one day i literally woke up with my energy tanked - had to eat every hour somehow spreading my “maintenance“. Over the course of a few months, i kept eating at what my Apple Watch would calculate each day and would binge weekly. my weight over that time ticked up slightly. I was also exercising 4 days a week barely making my energy work each day eating every 2-3hrs. One month i then missed my period. I’m a university student so i attributed it to stress (i was extremely stressed at this time pushing through burnout). Either way because i got scared i stopped working out and my period came back. It has been irregular since i dropped in weight. i was also 15% body fat with a good amount of muscle for my body according to inbody at least.

Then, severe burnout came (was preparing to apply to med school - mcat exam) and for 2ish weeks before my brain “hit the wall” i binged every day severely, thousands of calories over maintenance each day. Once i hit the wall i made the decision to give myself an extra year before applying, dropping my stress. The binging still continued everyday however for another week, lessening as i got rid of calorie counting and tried eating more intuitively. Now, I have a certain stopping fullness at the end of each day, but that stopping point despite now a few days completely binge free is still making me gain weight past now my original weight from last year (the one i was “stable” at). Now my blood sugar is lasting more, and once it even went 4 hours before going low. Symptoms at lower but non low levels have also decreased a lot.

Something to note is i was never clinically underweight at any point, and had severe insomnia when the worst binge period occurred because of stress (2-4hrs a night). I thought my binge issue would stop immediately without stress but was wrong or maybe impatient.

My question is when should i expect my weight to stop going up and stabilize? When will my appetite slow to maintain? More specifically since no one can predict time, does anyone have a similar experience of continued gain in binge ed recovery?
How long did it last you?