u/Sea-of-Teeth

I have a queen-sized bed (and so does he) and no matter how he starts out sleeping he always ends up sprawled across the entire bed. I try the best I can to sleep next to him, but NO MATTER WHAT I am always at the very edge of the bed, and if I happen to roll over his entire body is right there behind me. Lol

To be fair I am a light sleeper, and I’m sure other “light-sleeper” people struggle sleeping next to their partners too. However, I am a plus size woman I do have bigger hips and thighs, but he’s skinnier and has a leaner frame. He doesn’t need the amount of space he takes up which I think is the most frustrating part. He also tends to sleep with his arms up above his head, and in the night he’ll randomly shove his elbow into me or punch me in the back. I know it’s involuntary, but my god it scares the hell out of me.

My sister (22) and her boyfriend (24 almost 25) live with our parents and our youngest brother. Her boyfriend has a child (3) but only has shared custody with her. She stays over there with them on weekends and even calls my parents her grandparents. Unfortunately this guy she’s dating is not his own person, and there are real things in his like that have affected him to get to that point, however his lack of motivation and drive this late in his life with a young child as well is deeply concerning. He has a child who is just starting to begin her life, and yet what he would rather do is sit on his phone or play his Xbox when she’s over and then my sister is solely responsible for her and watching her. Granted SHE IS NOT her mother, and has to get permission from the boyfriend who then has to text and ask baby mama if “xyz” is okay or not okay to do. Also the fact that he only gets to see his daughter two days out of the week, and still has to be asked to spend one on one time with her. Now our parents also have to make sure my sister’s room is kept clean, because when her boyfriend moved in it started getting super trashed to the point it was like a hoarder situation in there (I only saw it once they had already started cleaning up and even that was really bad) and they had been hiding the condition of it. His little 3 year old daughter had been sleeping on a mattress on the floor in their room surrounded by trash and bits of old food and things she could have put in her mouth. They had these old Twisted Tea cans on this hanging shelf on their wall that had grown colonies of little gnats and every time you’d accidentally bump the shelf they’d all come swarming out. Plus old disposable vape cartridges nicotine and THC just scattered all around everywhere. My sister told me it wasn’t like that when the little one was over they had just been moving stuff around, but I really don’t know if I believe her. My parents are having a really hard time getting him to get a job. My sister has a disability that prevents her from being able to work, and so it’s falling on him to step up for her and his daughter and yet it seems even that can’t motivate him enough. He doesn’t have a car anymore since his broke down, he’s basically broke since he didn’t work for so long because he had hurt his ankle and was fired from his last job for missing too many days. He just now started a job at Arby’s, but my parents are having a hard time since he won’t ask them for rides in advance he kinda just expects them to drop everything and take him. My sister and him won’t or “forget” to do the chores they’ve been assigned around the house to help keep it clean and nice (she doesn’t have very hard chores though since we don’t try to make her exert herself). It’s hard to feel like he even appreciates getting to stay there under their roof and having a bed and home-cooked meals pretty much every night. It’s just getting ridiculous and the only thing I can think of is they need to get threatened to be kicked out if they can’t figure something out for themselves. But I know they still have growing to do as people, and so is it harsh to expect them to just do that? I don’t even know anymore.