u/Sea_Season6389

Going to the club tonight with my coworker, I want to present feminine but I’m nowhere near out at work- we also have never hung out outside of work before. I don’t wanna like scare her or surprise her, and we’re going with some of her friends so I’m sure she’s told them about me referring to me as male… do I just show up as a girl? Should I like warn her? Maybe send a picture of my outfit? There’s no way I’m going to a night out as a boy, but do I soft launch it at all or just show up?

Making this post to remind everyone who’s struggling to come out that it’s never as bad as you think it’s going to be. I (19, fmtf), came out as trans at 15 and was on T for roughly 2 years. My boyfriend (ftm) started T just after I did, we essentially transitioned together, we talked about the changes we noticed and always had each other through our transition. When realized I wanted to detransition, my biggest fear is that he wouldn’t like me anymore, especially since he had expressed a distaste for detrans people in the past. I didn’t tell him when I stopped taking my T until months later, even then I didn’t tell him I was detrans. I had imagined the worst, I imagined him disgusted by my misrepresentation of the trans community and disgusted by the changes I had made to my body. I was terrified that he’d be out of my league and that he wouldn’t want to date an ugly girl. When I finally told him, I cried and cried and shook from fear. After I told him, he held me and said that I was beautiful, and he told me that everything’s going to be okay. Since then, I’ve been able to wear lingerie for him, he touches me like I’m a girl and he’s even helped me cut up some old shirt so I can wear cute outfits. We have since been able to actually talk about my fears in telling him and the thing that I thought would take him from me actually brought us closer. To anyone struggling to talk to someone, just know that it’s going to be okay and you can do it!