Beef brisket slow-cooked for 9hrs & broiled & basted 6 times after with thickened sauce. (Hickory, Guinness BBQ sauce + ketchup, brown sugar, cumin, salt, garlic cloves & shallots.)
On Kaiser bun with mayo, PC broccoli slaw + PC slaw sauce.
(Baked potato with Atlantic salt, cultured butter, shredded marbled cheese and sour cream.)
What's the fucking deal???
Specifically bi-gender. Pass as a cis gay man. (Clothed)
My ex, whom I've a kid with, won't allow me to be topless around him. In my country, and province, it's totally legal
Was legalized the year I was born. 30yrs. I've never seen a person with boobs be topless... But I don't care. It's within my rights. I love seeing topless men, and being topless. It's natural. I hate wearing a top and having sweaty, gross boobs. They still might sweat if it's grossly hot... But it's still more breezy/nice. The air, the sun, the freedom, the gender-affirmation.
I've also a bf whom is progressive and LGBTQ+ himself. But he's told me in the past, the same things my ex has said, that they're both uncomfortable with the looks THEY get walking with me.
I've been physically threatened before, and constant looks/shit from people. So I've learned to not look at people. Just everything else around me. My bf is trying to be better about it.... But I still feel guilty. I want to be topless, and do a lot. But sometimes I try to refrain just to make him more comfortable. I hate it.
So what? I've short buzzed hair, a beard, hairy body, and boobs... You never see boobs, but it's allowed. I see topless AMAB people ALL the time. I HATE that, that's okay, but it's suddenly weird when I do it.
I actually feel so free, happy, comfortable, and masc when I'm topless. Literally... The sun... The wind... It feels all SO amazing.
With my bf, we went onto the subway. We had to rush to catch it, I was still topless. Again, it's legal. If it was jam-packed and I was gross/stinky, I'd wear my top. (But lol, it was a bra-top. Doesn't stop a sweaty body/stinky B.O, which I didn't have)
I'm just beyond frustrated. My bf was so weirded-out by it. He has voiced being bothered in general with HIM getting looks walking with me being topless. It makes me feel disgusting. My ex, my daughter, and my BF are the only people I know/am close to. My daughter understands me. She even encouraged me the last time my ex, her, and I hung out to be topless. I didn't because of my ex.
I'm BEYOND tired of toxic shit. It took me SO long to learn I'm trans, to becoming nonbinary, to not wanting top surgery, to being femme as a cis-passing guy.
I'm just done. I get nothing but shit.
I only like underground, experimental, "weird," unconventional music. My fave bands are late 80's - 90's. Some of them being so small they're not even on Spotify/Apple.
Is there a certain place that hosts more stuff like that? Experimental? I just moved here two weeks ago and am not previously familiar with the city.
I used to use liquid liner but had problems with it getting dry before I would even finish applying. Was suggested, and bought Anastasia Beverly Hilld Jet Waterproof gel pot.
I put it on yesterday and smudged 3 times before taking it off. In the evening after googling a bit, I got some sheer translucent powder to put on-top of it after I'm done. I put a good amount of powder on, and even on my eyelids which get oily to help a bit. After being out 3-4 hours and coming home, I look like a racoon that doesn't know how to apply makeup...
I don't know what to do now. I made sure to wash my eyes before applying as well. And made sure they were fully dry.
Do I really need a million products and steps just to wear some eyeliner??? It feels so embarrassing. I was talking to this really, REALLY beautiful and cool lady and had no idea I looked like this.