u/Sensitive-Nature6784

Okay I know this is a strange thing to be proud of, but I had severe arachnophobia since I was at least 8-10 years old and I'd always have a panic attack and start crying whenever I'd see spiders. Also the spider was just a jumping spider and that spider also ate this annoying fly in my room so yayyy!!

P.S. Sorry for the horrible grammer and also if I don't reply to your comment, it's not that I'm ignoring you, I tend to just upvote comments but I'll try to reply whenever I can. 🙂

Edit #1: also I know this is random, but what should I name the jumping spider? I think it's still under my bed and now I feel attached to the sweet baby lol!

Now I just need to shower, but I have to do it tomorrow since my family is asleep right now and it's always best to do things after getting some rest, well at least for me. Anyways, I'm so proud of myself because normally when I fall off my hygiene, it tends to take me weeks to get back on it so this is a huge win for me! 😀

Edit #1: Also forgot to mention that before I brushed my teeth, I flossed and did mouthwash so yay!

Edit #2: I also completely forgot to mention that I need to clip my nails as well but like I said I'll just wait until tomorrow.

I don't know if it was because I haven't ate in two days but that was the best meal I've ever had and I'm so thankful my mom forced me to at least eat something lol! Anyways, the main reason why I started starving myself in the first place was because I wanted to get rid of my little belly pouch (aka lower belly fat) but the thing is that I'm biologically a woman so having a bit of fat there is natural (I believe it's there to protect our organs, please correct me if im wrong on any of this!) And at the end of the day, I'm 16 which I definitely shouldn't be starving myself for two days as I could stunt my growth and most likely get an eating disorder which wouldn't be fun at all. As long as I at least eat in moderation and exercise at least three days (sometimes four depending on how i feel) per week, and drink plenty of water (not to much though!), I should be fine I mean I am at a healthy weight for my height anyways. Also I'm starting to really love my pale skin and all of it's imperfections. At the end of the day, all of my imperfections is what makes me human after all.

P.S. I'm so sorry for my horrible grammer! Also if I don't respond to your comments I'm not ignoring it, sometimes I'm just too lazy to reply to most of the comments but I'll try my best to (I do upvote y'alls comments though)!

I only ever cut myself once but the cut wasn't really that deep so it healed fast (it was awhile ago). However, maybe a week ago, I accidentally slit my finger while cutting a green apple and it gave me the sudden urge to cut both of my arms up and potentially stab myself with the knife and I was originally going to do that last night but I decided to fall asleep due to being extremely tired after having a 6 hour mental breakdown (I also have no idea why these things always happen right after my therapy appointment 😭). I still have the urge to do these things but my parents are barely getting by and they just took our crested gecko to the vet because she had a fractured jaw (I also don't want to stress them out). Anyways I don't know whether or not I should be thankful I'm still here but at the same time I'm proud of myself for not cutting myself up and trying to kill myself if that means anything. Also I'm terribly sorry for my horrible grammer, hope you guys have a great day ❤️

Edit: thank you everyone so much for the kind comments, it means a lot to me ❤️ Also sorry if it takes me a bit to reply to y'alls comments, I've been trying to disconnect myself from social media and take better care of myself.