u/Serious-Curve-3892

I have been a reptile lover since I was 12. And by reptile lover, I mean that I'm Highfunctioning-Autistic and this is one of the core interests that makes up my personality.

I recently lost my first (and only) reptile, a crested gecko named Waffle. He was my buddy, the judgmental while I did dumb stuff, the sleeping breaths on my chest while I read, and the little squeaks that always had me falling asleep with a smile.

It's been a couple months, and I'm still reeling. The terrarium has always lived on my dresser, and the lack of squeaks and skitters in the night is deafening. It feels like there's a huge hole in my life where care routine and hangout sessions should be.

I have an incredibly difficult time bonding with people, both due to the autism and severe trust issues due to childhood experiences. For me, pets are my closest friends, my safe space, my lifeblood. I am grieving, healing is slow, and handling it as best I can: refocus.

Refocus means doing research. I know that once the grief has eased, I will want to have a reptile again. Another crestie is off the table entirely, as I know I'll always just see the ghost of my Waffle. A gargoyle gecko is currently the strongest contender, but I want to be sure I've considered all the options.

So, here's my question: Any reptile suggestions within the below constraints?

- My stepdad forbids any snakes from entering the home. (He for some reason thinks that because Satan possessed ONE S E R P E N T, every snake for the rest of existence is evil. I disagree and don't understand at all. But, rules must be respected.

- The biggest terrarium I could fit in my space is a 18 deep, 24 long, 24 tall (could maybe do a 36 tall, but would be mildly irritating to reach the top of. My dresser isn't short, but I am, lol.) My current terrarium is a 12 deep, 12 wide, 18 tall

- Bugs make my skin crawl. Can't do em. Nope. Can't do it. Worms? Fine with them. Dead bugs? Could power through. But live roaches/crickets? NOPE. Has to be something that can live on a powdered diet (or pellets, but I've heard those tend to be problematic) and maybe some worms or pre-dead crickets.

- Would really like to keep things in a reasonable price range. A more expensive reptile would be up for consideration, but only if that higher cost was just from acquiring the reptile itself, and the care costs were still reasonable

- And, MOST IMPORTAINTLY, the reptile has to be handleable. I understand it might not be to the level that Waffle was. But I'm not interested in a pet I can't hold, bond with, and hang out with (not hours on end, obviously. But I like a good 5-20 minute hangout sesh with a little friend)

Note: Far as I know, basically the only reptiles that fit this list are gargoyles, maybe a leachie. But figured I'd try my luck asking, in case anyone else can think of something I haven't

I discovered reptiles as an interest at 12, and have been in love ever sense. Spent years trying to convince parents, and my stepdad finally caved for my 15th birthday. Got an adult crested gecko, who I named Waffle, and quickly became my world.

Unfortunately, Waffle passed a couple months ago. Still reeling, feels like there's a whole in my life, and the silence from the terrarium (which sits on my dresser) at night is deafening. He was my reading buddy, the judgmental glare when I sat on my floor doing something dumb, and the tiny weight tucked under the collar of my shirt while I read.

I can't handle this hole in my life, but I also don't want to replace him. I've been heavily considering a gargoyle gecko, but part of me worries it'll be too similar.

After taking my very short list of alternative options (due to things like space constraints and my stepdad forbidding snakes) I pretty much have: Geckos.

Love geckos. They're adorable. But I want a gecko I can handle and bond with, not a decoration. So most species are off the table. And if I'm trying to consider non NC-geckoes... see the problem?

I remembered that tokay geckoes exist a few days ago, and that peeked my interest a bit. The idea of a gecko with more than one, occasional, braincell sounds like a fun change. Plus, as we all know, tokays are gorgeous.

Main problem? Handling. I know they have reputation for being angry little hellions that bite like if chip clips were built on steroids and wrath. (Dramatic, I'm aware. I like dramatic, lol.) But I've found a couple breeders and owners that say if you get a captive bread baby, and get the biting out their system young, they can actually be very handleable.

So, basically, my question is this:

Is it true that a captive bread, VERY well socialized baby tokay gecko, can become a buddy? Are they capable of being chill enough to hang out with? Or do they truly live up to the reputation of untamable gremlin?

(I'm aware that a tokay would likely never just chill on my shoulder while I read a book for two hours. I mean hang out as in holding, have outside the terrarium for periods of time, and not be constantly jumping/crazy)

I know it's probably a long shot, and I'll most likely end up getting a gargoyle once I can look at the terrarium without breaking down. But figured the question was worth asking, if for nothing more than curiosity, and to say I considered all the options.

I'm currently in the process of saving up to get a Gargoyle Gecko from GargoyleQueenReptiles

This will be my second reptile. I first had a Crested Gecko named Waffle, who passed a few months back. I know their care is very similar, and have been doing tons of research (I'm High-Masking Autistic and dealing with the grief by hyper-fixating on research. Healthy? Probably not. But my mental health can't handle the massive hole in my routine and life that is an empty terrarium. Barely slept for the first two weeks, as I've always kept the terrarium in my bedroom, and the lack of squeaks and skittering sounds was deafening.)

Planning to start new little scaly friend in the terrarium I currently have (12x12x18)

Coconut fiber substrate with some sphagnum moss, some sticks, fake (but not sharp) plants, coconut hides, thermometer/hygrometer, UVB, feeding ledge, planning to start on Pangea Gecko food and maybe move to Snake Discovery Fruit Fiesta

My goal is to get a more docile juvenile (thus why I picked this particular breeder. I love her handleability rating system) as I loved how Waffle was such a fun hangout buddy. I like having a little scaly friend who can chill with me, jump around a bit, but not be the absolute psycho that many geckos are

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As someone who is experienced with Cresties, but will be a first time Garg owner, are there any tips/advice/warnings I should know?

(Note: it will be another couple months before I actually acquire a new gecko. But, I like to have all my information long before I actually need it. More time to put together a detailed care plan and such.)