u/SevereDemand1557

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My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for about two years. We love each other, and he has shown me every day in many ways that he loves me too. We've had our disagreements and misunderstandings, but we've always been okay because we communicate a lot without arguing.

About two months ago, I found out that he had an X account dedicated to following porn accounts. Since we had never discussed our boundaries around pornography, I wanted to ask him about it, so I did. He told me that he wasn't attracted to the people in porn, only to the scenarios, and that he followed those accounts so the app's algorithm would show him porn. He also told me he's demisexual and experiences sexual attraction differently than me. We met on a BDSM dating app, and he said he had no reason to believe I would have a problem with pornography. He admitted that he was wrong for assuming that. He also said that he hadn't actually watched porn in a long time because our frequent intimacy had replaced the need.

He promised me he wouldn't do something like that anymore now that he knows how I feel, and he has reassured me multiple times. He has also continued to be just as loving and supportive as he was before.

Meanwhile, I keep feeling insecure and have difficulty moving on because I have trust issues from childhood that make me overanalyze everything and wonder what is actually true and what isn't. I love him with all my heart, and it's so hard to keep feeling this way. I just want to love him without fear, but something in the back of my mind won't let me.

He has stayed by my side for the past two months, even though I've been feeling miserable and insecure. He's been trying to help me with advice and anything else he can think of, but it's been hard for me to accept or fully believe it.

I've never seen any behavior that would suggest he was cheating,he doesn't hide his phone or act suspiciously but I still fear that he's hiding something from me or isn't being completely truthful in some way since I found that account even though it wasn't a secret account,he wasn't hiding it from me. I don't know what to do anymore. Has anyone else been through something similar before and how did y'all end up? I would appreciate some insight from someone who went through something similar. I know I have my own issues and is genuinely so hard sometimes and I feel how all this is affecting our relationship.

Also sorry for any grammar mistakes, this is not my first language.

My boyfriend and I have been in a relationship for about two years. We love each other, and he has shown me every day in many ways that he loves me too. We've had our disagreements and misunderstandings, but we've always been okay because we communicate a lot without arguing.

About two months ago, I found out that he had an X account dedicated to following porn accounts. Since we had never discussed our boundaries around pornography, I wanted to ask him about it, so I did. He told me that he wasn't attracted to the people in porn, only to the scenarios, and that he followed those accounts so the app's algorithm would show him porn. He also told me he's demisexual and experiences sexual attraction differently than me. We met on a BDSM dating app, and he said he had no reason to believe I would have a problem with pornography. He admitted that he was wrong for assuming that. He also said that he hadn't actually watched porn in a long time because our frequent intimacy had replaced the need.

He promised me he wouldn't do something like that anymore now that he knows how I feel, and he has reassured me multiple times. He has also continued to be just as loving and supportive as he was before.

Meanwhile, I keep feeling insecure and have difficulty moving on because I have trust issues from childhood that make me overanalyze everything and wonder what is actually true and what isn't. I love him with all my heart, and it's so hard to keep feeling this way. I just want to love him without fear, but something in the back of my mind won't let me.

He has stayed by my side for the past two months, even though I've been feeling miserable and insecure. He's been trying to help me with advice and anything else he can think of, but it's been hard for me to accept or fully believe it.

I've never seen any behavior that would suggest he was cheating,he doesn't hide his phone or act suspiciously but I still fear that he's hiding something from me or isn't being completely truthful in some way since I found that account even though it wasn't a secret account,he wasn't hiding it from me. I don't know what to do anymore. Has anyone else been through something similar before and how did y'all end up? I would appreciate some insight from someone who went through something similar. I know I have my own issues and it genuinely so hard sometimes,I feel how all this is affecting our relationship.

Also sorry for any grammar mistakes, this is not my first language.

Hey so I found out my boyfriend was following a bunch of porn accounts on X. Nothing too specific men, women, just generic porn accounts. It made me uncomfortable, but since we had never discussed our boundaries around pornography, I wanted to talk to him about it. I asked him about it and he told me that, for him, porn is just fantasy and that he has never felt sexually attracted to the people in it. He said he finds the scenarios interesting and appealing rather than the actors themselves. I should also mention that we're in a BDSM relationship, so sex and kink are important parts of our relationship. At first, I struggled to understand what he meant and after many conversations, he told me that he's demisexual, which helped me understand him better. However, because I don't experience attraction the way he does, it's still sometimes difficult for me to fully understand his internal experience. So I wanted to ask if there are any other demisexual people here who experience pornography in a similar way, especially those who are also into BDSM or other forms of kink. Do you watch porn for the scenarios rather than the people? Have any of you actually followed porn accounts on social media without feeling sexually attracted to the people posting the content?

He also told me that he gradually stopped watching porn after we got into our relationship because our frequent intimacy naturally replaced the need for it.

He says I'm the first person he's ever felt genuinely sexually attracted to and that I was like an "awakening" for him ,the reason he feels attraction to another human being .

I'm not asking whether my boyfriend is "really" demisexual, because only he can know that and I'm not trying to invalidate him. I'm simply trying to understand experiences that might be similar to his.

Also sorry for the long post, and sorry if there are any grammar mistakes ,this is not my first language 😭😭😭😭