u/Shamesinner

Hii! I’m 22F from Scandinavia, currently living abroad and finishing my degree in mechatronics engineering!

I’m a pretty curious person who loves learning random things, going on walks, listening to music, journaling, and having deep conversations. I also enjoy watching c-dramas, PewDiePie, and playing Minecraft or Roblox. I have a little dog back home whom I miss a lot!

I’d love to find a female friend/friends to build a genuine, long-term friendship with. Someone to play games with, share random life updates, motivate each other, or just talk about absolutely anything. We don’t need to have the same interests either, I love hearing about other people’s hobbies!

I’m a good listener and really appreciate friendships where both people put in effort. No pressure to talk 24/7, just someone who genuinely wants to stay in touch. ♡

If this sounds like you, message me and tell me a little about yourself! :)

Hi, I’m in my early 20s and currently in my final year of my bachelor’s degree in mechatronics. I’ve always done really well academically, mostly getting As in subjects like physics, mechanics, control theory, maths etc. But now that we’re getting into more hands-on projects involving PLCs, pneumatics, programming and actual engineering applications, I’m starting to feel like a complete fraud.

The thing is, I’m really good at studying. Give me a textbook, lectures and an exam, and I’ll probably do well. But I’m starting to realise how much general technical knowledge I lack outside of what we’ve specifically been taught.

Like, I recently had to look up what a CPU actually does and how Ethernet works… You know, the kind of stuff that people who have been interested in technology since they were 15 seem to just KNOW. And it’s honestly so embarrassing because how am I supposed to become an engineer when I don’t even know these things??

I feel like I know what I’ve been taught, but nothing beyond that. And when we start working on something new, I don’t have that background knowledge or intuition that some of my classmates seem to have. I just feel so stupid sometimes.
And here’s the part I’m almost embarrassed to admit: I’m not even THAT passionate about engineering. I don’t spend my free time watching tech reviews, building robots or researching random technical stuff for fun. I don’t particularly want to spend hours troubleshooting something just because I find it fascinating. I want to understand what I’m doing, do a good job, make things work and then go home.

It genuinely bothers me that I’m like this. I wish I was one of those people who are naturally curious about everything technical, who can take something apart and immediately start wondering how it works. Instead, I feel like I’m just someone who’s good at following instructions and passing exams.

And I know engineering isn’t just about knowing random technical facts, but I can’t help wondering whether I’m missing something fundamental. Like, is there a certain mindset or natural curiosity you’re supposed to have to actually be good at this?

I’m starting to feel like I’ve spent years becoming a really good student rather than becoming an engineer. And now that graduation is getting closer, I’m honestly terrified that I’ll enter the workforce and everyone will realise I don’t know what I’m doing.
The worst part is that I don’t even know what I’d rather do. I don’t have some other passion I’m secretly dreaming of pursuing. I just wish I could be genuinely passionate about something.

So I guess my question is, can someone like me actually become a good engineer? Are there any engineers here who weren’t particularly passionate about technology during university, but still ended up enjoying their careers? Or is this a sign that I’ve chosen the wrong field?

I’d really appreciate honest answers, even if they’re not what I want to hear.

Hi, so in about two weeks I’ll be moving to Dornbirn as an exchange student for five months. I’ve been doing a lot of research, but I still have a few questions about living in Austria that are difficult to find answers to online.

One thing that surprised me was all the registration requirements. For example, I need to register my residence within three days of moving in, and I also have to register my stay in Austria within three months. Are there any other important deadlines or legal requirements that exchange students often overlook? Perhaps any important insurances (apart from travel and health insurance) one should have in Austria?

I’m also curious about the social culture. In my home country, one of the easiest ways to make friends is by going out for drinks, since people tend to become much more social after a few beers. Is it similar in Austria, or do people usually make friends in other ways?

I’ve also heard that Austrians (and Germans) can come across as quite direct. Is that true, and are there any cultural differences or etiquette that I should be aware of to avoid accidentally being rude?

Finally, I’d love some travel recommendations! I enjoy hiking and spending time in nature, but I’d also like to explore nearby countries while I’m living in Austria. Is travelling by train generally the best option, or are flights sometimes cheaper?

More generally, if you have any advice for someone moving to Austria for the first time, I’d really appreciate it. I’ve never been to Austria before, and this will also be my first time living away from home, so I’m both excited and a little nervous. 😊
Thanks in advance!

Hi, so in about two weeks I’ll be moving to Dornbirn as an exchange student for five months. I’ve been doing a lot of research, but I still have a few questions about living in Austria that are difficult to find answers to online.

One thing that surprised me was all the registration requirements. For example, I need to register my residence within three days of moving in, and I also have to register my stay in Austria within three months. Are there any other important deadlines or legal requirements that exchange students often overlook? Perhaps any important insurances (apart from travel and health insurance) one should have in Austria?

I’m also curious about the social culture. In my home country, one of the easiest ways to make friends is by going out for drinks, since people tend to become much more social after a few beers. Is it similar in Austria, or do people usually make friends in other ways?

I’ve also heard that Austrians (and Germans) can come across as quite direct. Is that true, and are there any cultural differences or etiquette that I should be aware of to avoid accidentally being rude?

Finally, I’d love some travel recommendations! I enjoy hiking and spending time in nature, but I’d also like to explore nearby countries while I’m living in Austria. Is travelling by train generally the best option, or are flights sometimes cheaper?

More generally, if you have any advice for someone moving to Austria for the first time, I’d really appreciate it. I’ve never been to Austria before, and this will also be my first time living away from home, so I’m both excited and a little nervous. 😊
Thanks in advance!

Hi, I need a place to vent and seek some comfort and advice about my situation.

As the title says, I (22F) don’t visit my brother (28M), who has schizophrenia, very often at all. I visit him about twice a year, once for Christmas and once for his birthday. Even then, it’s only because my whole family goes together.

He lives in a care facility where he has his own apartment, but nurses check in on him and give him his medication. He doesn’t speak much. He can answer simple yes-or-no questions, but it often takes him a while to respond. He never asks questions back, and it’s impossible to have a deeper conversation with him.

He was diagnosed with schizophrenia after a psychotic episode when he was 17. I was 11 at the time. Before that, we were close. He was never someone who talked about his feelings, but we played games together, and he loved talking about things he found interesting. He wasn’t a deep conversation kind of person, but he talked, laughed, and was present.
Before his psychosis, he slowly started isolating himself. He used to have a lot of friends, so it was shocking to watch them come over to visit him, only for him to leave them sitting there while he went to lie down in his bed.

My parents later told me he had always struggled in school and that things became especially difficult for him in high school. He was on the autism spectrum and had Asperger’s, but he still had friends and was a really good and caring big brother.
To me, he seemed completely normal.
So it came as a huge shock when he went into psychosis, was put on medication, and then suddenly stopped speaking. The medication made him seem dull and zombie-like, and now he barely speaks unless someone speaks to him first. If we stay too long, he becomes anxious, so our visits can’t last very long.

It’s incredibly difficult to see my big brother like this, even though it’s been this way for the past 12 years. When I was younger, I cried over the “loss” of my brother almost every day. I would get so upset whenever people joked about schizophrenia. Eventually, I learned to suppress those feelings because thinking about them hurt too much.
I can’t really talk to many people about this because it feels like I’m mourning someone who isn’t actually dead. At the same time, I know my parents already carry so much pain about what happened to him, and I don’t want to make that burden even heavier for them.

Lately, my dad has been telling me that I should visit him more. The problem is that I have no idea how my brother feels about me being there. I haven’t spent time alone with him since he got sick.
The last message I ever received from him was when he was first admitted to a psychiatric ward during his psychosis. He told my mom to tell me that he loved me.

Now he has forgotten so much. He doesn’t remember many of his friends or things that have happened when people ask him about them specifically. I don’t know if he remembers our sibling bond or even what we used to be like.
I feel so uncomfortable visiting him because it makes me incredibly sad. At the same time, I feel guilty because I know I should probably visit him more often.

The worst part is that I can’t even ask him about any of this. He probably wouldn’t be able to understand what I’m asking unless it was something very simple, like whether he’s eaten today.
I hate this so much. It feels like my brother died 12 years ago, but he’s still here. I don’t know how to cope with grieving someone who is still alive, and I don’t know if avoiding him makes me a terrible sister or if it’s just my way of protecting myself from something that hurts too much.

As the title says I feel like my boyfriend is too avoidant in his attatchment style. I’ve brought it up with him before and he has told me he wants to change for the sake of our relationship, but nothing really changes in the long run. Now I’m wondering if I am expecting too much or if I should leave.

For context we have been dating for 1.5 years now and met in college studying the same major. In the start of the relationship he didn’t really seem avoidant at all, or at least I didn’t notice it. It was new and exciting and naturally we both wanted to hang out 24/7. As time went on I noticed that when we had to be away from each other he wasn’t so good at keeping up over text, in the start though he was initiating phone conversation if we couldn’t see each other. Now I’m the one initiating 80% of phone conversations, and when I do I feel like I’m doing most of the talking. And if I give room for silence to see if he has something to add the call just goes silent for a long time. Therefore I feel super annoying when I’m the one calling all the time and try not to so it so often. I’ve expressed this to him too.

One time when I was sick I was behaving a bit irritated because I felt bad, this irked him and he wanted to leave. He left and I apologized for my behavior. I was genuinely sick and he told me «You’re not that sick» and left. He never called me or checked up on me after which made me sad. I hadn’t even done anything super bad, I kust got annoyed with him for drinking my water when I was sick. He eventually got sick too, but the illness had a bigger toll on him, I tried to be kind and empathetic, but I was actually kind of upset over the way he had been towards me when I was sick. I still feel this resentment and have brought it up to him. He doesn’t really say a lot in response when I being stuff like that up because I usually do it in a joking manner like «remember that time you left me when I was sick because I got mad at you for drinking my water?»

Another time when he was away for work I was pestering him about the fact that he never calls and he was already stressed so he told me I was stressing him out when he already had so much to do. I told him I was sorry and that I would drop it. For context he doesn’t really call anyone unless it is work related. His parents have to call him to get a hold of him and they complain about that too (he doesn’t live at home). So I know it is not personal but I feel like he should want to call his girlfriend when he is away. He did it in the start of the relationship, so why is it so hard now? Anyways, I called him up when he was on his way back to town and told him I was excited to see him again, he told me me was excited to see me again too. Now I wanted to leave the ball in his court and have him call me and see me when he got back. (He was driving directly to the college where we were both working on different parts of a project). He never called me and when I was done working I had no messages either, even though I knew he had come. So I waited it out until I was ready to go home about 6 hours when the time hit 9 PM. I knew where he was and went there where he was holding a workshop with a few other people we know. I just asked him if he was ready to go when some of the people there remarked there was something that had to be done before we left today, so my boyfriend asked if I could fix that and then we could go. I just felt so neglected and like he wasn’t excited at all to see me. I don’t know if that is just me being really sensitive which is why I’m posting here to gain perspective.

Another time we had been hanging out for a weekend and when he left to go back home I wanted to see how long he could go without texting or calling me without me doing it first. It took 3 days before I couldn’t take it and called him, so I still have no idea how long he can go without contact. I called him and told him that I was upset and he knew exactly why. So at this point any time I reach out to him I feel like his freaking fan. Are there people out there who want to call and see their girlfriends everyday or at least consistently throughout the whole relationship, or am I demanding too much? The thing is I’m really vocal and clear about my feelings so he knows what I think about everything.

Is there anything more I can do? Am I the problem? I’m tired of feeling annoying but I also can’t just not talk to him for weeks so he can have his space, that doesn’t feel right for me in a relationship, and I’m having a hard time understanding his perspective.
Please any advice is very welcome.

TL;DR: My boyfriend rarely calls me or talks to me unless I initiate it and I’m wondering if I’m the problem for wanting him to do it more.