u/Shot-Corgi-7717

Relatively new to gay dating and just wondering if others have experienced this or what other people’s experiences have been as a person of color.

I’m a high-achieving Millennial: Ivy-educated with a graduate degree, six-figure tech salary, home and car owner. I’m in-shape but not a gym bro at all.

Yet I feel overlooked on dating and hookup apps. Obviously people don’t see these things on the apps, it’s mainly about physical attraction.

But overall, I feel like I’d make a great partner. But I feel like you can be an average white guy in looks or life and get hit on so easily. Where’s I barely get hit on and barely even have anyone reciprocate my messages when I reach out.

Does anyone else feel this?

Just need some perspective if I’m the a*hole

I am on a yearlong project as a contractor and supposed to not only PM but in effect also refereee the client and the software implementer. Both sides are to blame for how off the rails this project is: software partner massively mis-scoped it, under-resourced it, inappropriately staffed it, and made the contract a milestone-based one which I’ve never seen go well.

Client has a has a stakeholder who takes 1 month to make any decision, tries to cram as much as he can disregarding scope creep, wants to play fast and loose with what a defect v. enhancement is, and never takes my advice in terms of how long things will actually take or the risks I flag.

I KNOW the risks and LOE because I’ve been doing this type of software implementation for 6 years as a senior manager, so I’m not talking out of my a** and everything I said would happen has happened.

Client got defensive this morning when I said we need to think about only having 1 person test a batch of scripts during UAT instead of having 2-3 people check and double check each other as this is what has held up testing in the past. We are supposed to do UAT next week and sprint testing is still ongoing because he will not just let things go.

I said “Let me push back here because there’s a pattern of this happening.”

No one on the client side is holding his feet to the fire. Am I the jerk?

I am from the South and it’s well-known for its southern hospitality.

I’m a little confused about how people interact here. People avoid eye contact or don’t smile at each other in passing. If I’m driving through my neighborhood, I’ll wave to people but they never reciprocate (waving to people is totally normal in the South).

If we let people go when crossing the street, they never wave or say thank you. People don’t hold the doors open for each other.

I even was going to bus my own table at a restaurant and a worker came up and started to clear it and I said “Oh my gosh you do not have to do that, I can do it.” He just looked at me and said “It’s my job” and walked off.

Everyone here just seems very ‘in their own world’ and you seem like the weird one if you reach out and try to break that wall. It just dampens your day IMO.

What am I missing in terms of understanding SF culture?

Genuine question, but how does anyone afford SF if you’re not single and on a tech salary? I am visiting and astounded at the prices.

Meals for myself and a family member regularly get into $55 for fast casual like Panera and $100+ if we’re at a restaurant in downtown SF.

Ubers/Lyfts are exorbitant and even grocery prices are crazy. Let’s not even get into rent/housing prices.

What do you do for a living and/or are you working multiple jobs? Again, genuine curiosity. I am from Georgia in the States for reference.

I am currently looking for a new job like so many Americans. I don’t believe the unemployment rate is just at 4% - it has to be way higher (coupled with how many people have been out of work for as long as they have).

We need action to correct the economy but the current administration is only making it worse. Does anyone else feel like it won’t get better until 2030 when we’ve had a new leader for about 2 years and their policies have had time to work?

Even if Dems win midterms, what can they do to make the economy better?

I am currently looking for a new job like so many Americans. I don’t believe the unemployment rate is just at 4% - it has to be way higher (coupled with how many people have been out of work for as long as they have).

We need action to correct the economy but the current administration is only making it worse. Does anyone else feel like it won’t get better until 2030 when we’ve had a new leader for about 2 years and their policies have had time to work?

Even if Dems win midterms, what can they do to make the economy better?

I am currently looking for a new job like so many Americans. I don’t believe the unemployment rate is just at 4% - it has to be way higher (coupled with how many people have been out of work for as long as they have).

We need action to correct the economy but the current administration is only making it worse. Does anyone else feel like it won’t get better until 2030 when we’ve had a new leader for about 2 years and their policies have had time to work?

Even if Dems win midterms, what can they do to make the economy better?