u/Signal-Inside-9118

Suggestions and feedback welcome! <3 My own work.

Hi everyone, I hope you are having a nice day (please excuse me though, I am not the best at English and usually do not type out long paragraphs).

I've never had much self esteem. I've recently gotten more confident, but I think I struggle with internalized misogyny.

I have a male acquaintance and he said that "modern feminism" was "bad" and I couldn't understand why. He said he remembers reading a statistic that said 43% of men felt discrimination on the basis of their gender. I do not know if this is true, but I questioned if this was true "discrimination" or men reacting angrily to someone saying they "hated men" on the internet. I do not know. He also said that feminism should be striving for equality and not "50/50" in the workforce.

I semi-agree with this, exactly 50/50 may not be achieved in every single workforce, but at the same time, if given equal opportunity, the percentages of men and women in every field should start to become equal. He then asked how women do not have equal opportunity. I felt slightly like talking to a wall. We mustn't act like men and women are socialized similarly/the same, that workplaces pay an equal wage to women as to men, or that there isn't an overwhelming amount of violence against women. He said something about how women in some cities are paid more, but failed to bring up what said cities were like this (obviously there are going to be some outliers in a few industries where women are paid more than men, but it is overwhelmingly the opposite way).

I am a student studying STEM so the STEM fields immediately came to mind. I personally love mathematics, but I only started really studying difficult and competition level mathematics two years ago. Women are severely underrepresented in STEM, and especially in competition mathematics. There are only a few other girls that do competition maths at my school. I always thought, subconsciously or otherwise, that I wouldn't be as good just because I am a girl. Maybe not innately, but because of the way women are treated? Maybe both. I do not know. I know only about a few female scientists. I feel bad.

I love maths. But I am not very good at it compared to a lot of people I know. It is more of a passion rather than a talent for me.

My acquaintance is not stupid, at least not academically. His parents are researchers and have taught him well in STEM subjects. I do know that he is from a privileged and rich background though, which probably has skewed his political spectrum and views.

I sometimes cry about my perceived inferiority. When I was younger, I was jealous about boys, not academically at the time, as I scored better than the majority of children in my elementary classes, but in other ways. The way that they could wear "boys' clothes" (after age seven I refused to wear dresses even after my mom's pleads) and could like "boys' colors", or play "boys' sports". When I was introduced to (American) football, I wondered why only boys played it. I was told that boys were naturally stronger, which made me feel sad. I am naturally weaker just because I am a girl? It didn't make sense. When I got my period, I cried asking my mom why boys didn't get periods also. She told me it was just how it was.

I feel bad because I am a woman. I sometimes even feel guilty and shameful. I am not raised even in a traditional or religious household, but I do think that life would be a lot easier if I was a boy. Like in society, in the workforce, in my studies. I do not know what to do and I occasionally feel hopeless about this, especially tonight. Maybe I am just overtly emotional today. Perhaps I would just like some reassurance.

Thank you for listening to my rant. Have a peaceful day.

It’s been years and I am still haunted.
I stand by the mirror, my face pale in the night as it is in the sunlight, a mole making a moon on my cheek and freckles accompanying him like the stars. But there are no stars here.
Capsules are still on the floor. They pray not be meddled with, but
it’s obvious I’ve cried out my sobriety. You can tell mostly in the eyes. There’s a crease below them, and grey shadows that are more permanent than the ones that follow you during the day. It paints me grey.
You are what you eat. I didn’t remember swallowing spring. 
If I opened the curtains I would see the sun was hiding behind my eyes, begging to be given back to the sky.
There are stars all around me but I have ingested every one of them. Did you know the sun is a star as well? Maybe that’s why the sky is empty.

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1vngmys/comment/p3kvzo6/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

https://www.reddit.com/r/OCPoetry/comments/1vnqsm5/comment/p3kwsdk/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button

Vent I guess.

My friend more or less left me earlier this year and I realize now it's probably due to me being ugly. I was actually sorta content with being unattractive until that happened. I feel guilty. We both play the violin and speak the same language and one day she started being friends with these pretty petite stacy-type girls and more or less cut me off entirely. She started wearing make-up, stopped wearing her glasses. She doesn't text me anymore. She doesn't even interact with me irl. During the one class we had together she was always with the stacies. We had a very good and close relationship up until then, we bought each other food and went to fairs together. And that is all gone because she found prettier friends. I've been holding this in for a while and it just upsets me. Maybe it's because I'm queer too. I feel like she felt slightly icked by that when I mentioned it to her. Idk. fml.

*This was originally posed on r/FBLA
Hi, I want to do FBLA next school year. I’ve been denied an event two years in a row and I would like to make the most of this year. Are there any niche events that have better chances at making a state qualification or events that haven’t gotten much traction in earlier years? Or just any tips in general, like whether I should take an objective test or a presentation event during my first year. All help is appreciated!!!

Hi, I want to do FBLA next school year. I’ve been denied an event two years in a row and I would like to make the most of this year. Are there any niche events that have better chances at making a state qualification or events that haven’t gotten much traction in earlier years? Or just any tips in general, like whether I should take an objective test or a presentation event during my first year. All help is appreciated!!!