u/SignalShine2183

I often think about how long after a relationship a domestic abuser can still be considered an abuser, and I know it varies from case to case. The circumstances of my abuser have me wondering if an expiration date for that title is even possible…

If someone commits financial abuse, such as by stealing thousands of dollars from a partner, does the title “financial abuser” now get to define them for the rest of their life — or is there an expiration when someone is no longer considered an abuser or financial abuser?

Example: My ex-fiancé used our house to defraud me of tens of thousands. Despite occasionally admitting that what she did was fraudulent (and then cheaply trying to justify it), she has not fully accepted responsibility and will likely never return a dime of what was stolen. She continues to live in and host friends (aka, enablers) at the house she used my stolen money for.

Like any property, this investment will likely follow and benefit her for the rest of her life. Therefore, is it safe to say that (unless $30k randomly appears in my bank) she will remain a financial abuser forever? When we are in our 80s and she’s still coasting off our/HER investment, will she still be an abuser?

(Personal note: I’m asking this to validate and ease my own resentment, figuring out how I frame this part of my life as I move on. While I know it could be quite negative and possibly harmful to myself to always consider my ex an abuser, I also feel, given the circumstances, it’s naive to consider she will ever not be an abuser if the abuse/harm isn’t amended.)

A former friend of mine had an experience several years ago where she was clinically declared “dead” during surgery before being resuscitated. She says she remembers there being absolutely “nothing” when she died, like a sort of peace.

While I respect her experience and find it beautiful, what I don’t find beautiful is that she uses this to define others’ experiences and beliefs with life and death. She uses her single, anecdotal experience with “death” (when she was heavily sedated and literally survived) to insist that there is absolutely nothing after death — no heaven, no ghosts, no past lives. Whatever someone else believes, it can’t be real because she didn’t experience it.

Again, I’d respect her viewpoint if she kept it to herself. Instead, I’ve heard her bring this story up close to a dozen times, almost always after someone spiritual or religious discusses their beliefs. For example, when I shared my belief in past lives (which I have memories from), she immediately brought up her experience (that I’d heard several times) seemingly to end the conversation.

This person is no longer in my life due to other reasons (my ex cheated on me and she sided with the ex lol), so I likely won’t have a chance to confront her personally on this. However, if I encounter a situation like this again, what do you think is the best way to approach the subject to stop someone from invalidating others’ beliefs without invalidating THEIR beliefs or heightening conflict?

[Note: It’s not super important, but from my own personal belief, I think my friend is full of 💩 with her conclusion. She pretends her conclusion that “life is all there is” is scientific, but a “lack of evidence” cannot serve as evidence in most scientific processes, especially if others have experiences that do arguably have evidence (even if it’s just their anecdotal experiences, too). I personally believe our brains make us experience whatever is most comforting when we are close to death’s door, and for her, that was peace and silence. When I nearly died during surgery, I experienced something very different.]

A former friend of mine had an experience several years ago where she was clinically declared “dead” during surgery before being resuscitated. She says she remembers there being absolutely “nothing” when she died, like a sort of peace.

While I respect her experience and find it beautiful, what I don’t find beautiful is that she uses this to define others’ experiences and beliefs with life and death. She uses her single, anecdotal experience with “death” (when she was heavily sedated and literally survived) to insist that there is absolutely nothing after death — no heaven, no ghosts, no past lives. Whatever someone else believes, it can’t be real because she didn’t experience it.

Again, I’d respect her viewpoint if she kept it to herself. Instead, I’ve heard her bring this story up close to a dozen times, almost always after someone spiritual or religious discusses their beliefs. For example, when I shared my belief in past lives (which I have memories from), she immediately brought up her experience (that I’d heard several times) seemingly to end the conversation.

This person is no longer in my life due to other reasons (my ex cheated on me and she sided with the ex lol), so I likely won’t have a chance to confront her personally on this. However, if I encounter a situation like this again, what do you think is the best way to approach the subject to stop someone from invalidating others’ beliefs without invalidating THEIR beliefs or heightening conflict?

[Note: It’s not super important, but from my own personal belief, I think my friend is full of 💩 with her conclusion. She pretends her conclusion that “life is all there is” is scientific, but a “lack of evidence” cannot serve as evidence in most scientific processes, especially if others have experiences that do arguably have evidence (even if it’s just their anecdotal experiences, too). I personally believe our brains make us experience whatever is most comforting when we are close to death’s door, and for her, that was peace and silence. When I nearly died during surgery, I experienced something very different.]

I woke up from a nap to find my roommate cooking dinner. He had made himself pork chops and mashed potatoes, but he had used my mashed potatoes packet without asking.

Honestly, this on its own wasn’t a big deal. The packets are cheap, I don’t use them much, and he told me he’d replace it (after I asked). I just like having one in the cabinet so I can use it when I want.

What was odd was that he proceeded to ONLY offer me the mashed potatoes (and some peas he made) but didn’t offer any of the rest of the food he made for himself. He also told me the offer was limited time — if I didn’t eat my mashed potatoes tonight, he would finish them for lunch.

Not that it matters, but I had already cooked ramen for my dinner, so I had no interest in adding carbs tonight — only protein.

Even though there wasn’t a lot of extra food, am I wrong for expecting him to offer at least a couple pork chops, considering he took my food without permission? Is something like this even worth a discussion?

I’m trying to livestream on Twitch tonight for the first time. I’ve streamed on other apps previously, but this is my first time on Twitch.

I just did a test livestream, and my phone camera does not zoom in or out when I pinch the screen. I don’t see any other controls for zooming in and out, despite this being a basic camera feature that nearly every other streaming app supports.

I’m using my iPhone’s back camera — this is the only setup I can use, and I must be able to zoom in and out.

Does anyone know a solution to this? Is there a button I’m overlooking? Is there a separate app I should use to stream to Twitch that allows zooming in and other basic camera functions?

I know someone who considers herself a leftist — let’s call her Casey (27/F). She previously owned a house with her partner (29/non-binary). The house was in Casey’s name partially because of credit scores — her parents had paid for her college education, while her partner still had student debt (at the time). Still, both had invested significantly in the house and agreed to divide the investment equitably if they broke up.

When they broke up, Casey changed her mind, didn’t want to share any of the investment, declared herself a landlord (without any of the paperwork), and pursued eviction against her partner. She called her gun-owning, NRA-supporting father and her transphobic stepmother to help during the eviction process, who verbally harassed the partner with classist and transphobic rhetoric. She threatened to change the locks and throw their stuff to the curb (which would’ve been illegal) because a landlord-specific lawyer had told her to do so.

Can Casey still consider herself a leftist, or has she waived that privilege?