u/Significant-Flan630

As a guy who grew up appreciating women beauty, I never had trouble still looking at other women while in my previous relationships and going “Damn, she’s beautiful/hot”… until her. Even for my previous exes, after breaking up, I could immediately look at gorgeous women on the streets and steal a second glance… until her.

After I got together with my recent ex in 2024, I have had eyes for no one but her. 3 months plus post break up, I feel only a tiny bit better than the first month, but there is some improvement so it’s not the worst.

But the biggest part? I still can’t feel attracted to gorgeous women. Or should I say, I have zero psychological or physiological response. I would not a take a second glance - to me it’s just like seeing another regular human. Just like everyone else.

Makes me think my suspicion on this theory of mine is right - You can live without her. Sure, it’s not the best, but you won’t be exactly the worst BUT you would never be really attracted and love someone else the same again. Why?

Some guys like us may only truly and deeply love once in their lifetime.

It’s like taking out a one-time-only part of myself, gave it to her, and she walked away with it.

It’s a frightening thought.

I do miss her like crazy but thankfully, still some progress versus month 1, no matter how little - in case anyone is wondering.

If you are an ISFP lady that has dumped your partner due to emotional overwhelm/felt like you weren’t validated in conflicts but didn’t voice out your concerns (obviously no fundamental issues like cheating or betrayal in the relationship), what would you have liked your ex who has made actual changes do to win you back?

Is it just space? Or would you have liked them to put up a fight? Or just to stay around and be available?

I’m aware everyone is different and asking because I’m curious. Not really applicable for my situation but just want to be educated!

Are there any Anxious-Preoccupied dumpers who felt they were so done when breaking up, only to suddenly change their minds down the road?

Curious in knowing what made you change your mind and how long it took to hit that realization.

Seems to me that most women want tone over logic.

If you are rational or logical during conflicts, it always ends up badly.

But maybe that’s just my own experience.

I think I have really come to realise how shitty of a way humans are programmed.

Instead of being able to get a partner back through calm and transparent communication, through admitting where the problems are, what you are doing to fix them, etc., you supposedly have to use silence and presence for them to miss you.

It’s such a painful realization.

I decided awhile ago to completely ignore the best/optimal methods.

Because that’s not who I am.

I’m a person who wants to be accountable, tell her where I see my faults are, how they made her feel despite not being my intent, and what I’m doing to fix the problems that stemmed from me.

If I lose relationships because of that, so be it.

Not my personal situation but curious to know if there were dumpers who were 100% sure they didn’t want to be together anymore for the first 6 months after the breakup, but somewhere down the road, something changed their mind?

Could be anything - realization / grass wasn’t greener on the other side / late processing / etc.

Dumpers, share your views.

Even better if you could state your own attachment styles - Anxious/Anxious-Preoccupied/FA/DA, etc.

I see a lot of questions asking about dumpers’ regret in very broad format.

I want to ask specifically for the dumpers who chose to broke up over an issue that isn’t cheating/betrayal, more like emotional needs and communication issues…

Did some of you realise only after a long time, like 4-6 months that the problem was fixable and somehow you only realised after quite awhile maybe cause you were distracting yourself/feeling relief the first 2-3 months?