Chasing new friendships is draining and feels meaningless compared to childhood/young adulthood connections
I wonder if this is the same for other people. Ever since I turned 30 and moved to a new city, I see my friends from home less, so the idea was of course to try and make new friends. However, I am so unexcited by meeting potential future friends. Everyone we as a couple or I as an individual meet up with falls short when compared to the long-term connections we already have. This comparison is of course unfair, but the problem is that it feels like even if you invest years into nurturing the new friendship, it'll never have the same level of trust, familiarity, and shared experiences.
When you're young, you go on adventures with your friends and have so many shared experiences where funny and obscure things happen, be it in school, going out, getting drunk, traveling together, going to a festival, etc. They still make you laugh no matter how often you rehash the same stories. And when you get together it always feels like you never spent a day apart.
Now, even after seeing some people for the 10th time, it still feels like all we do is make small talk. Because of that I am uninspired to get together with new people and instead prefer to see my old friends when I visit home or they visit me.
Does anybody have any advice on how to overcome this and make new friendships feel meaningful? The conversations are often so dull and they forget everything you told them in the last meetup because it's been 3 months. Also, it's really noticeable how self-centered many of these conversations are. Some people just go on and on about themselves in excruciating detail that you struggle to keep up with and don't even think about asking the 3 other people present a question about their lives.
We have two couples we'd consider new friends, but it's usually one of the partners in the couple talking and even interrupting their partner when they try to chime in or are asked a question directly by us. I've noticed this happening more and more, and maybe we indulge people too much, but I feel like a lot of them don't know how to have a balanced conversation that involves everyone. I miss the ability to easily meet up with people who mutually care about each other and each other's lives and express that interest.