u/Similar_Cap_9018

As soon as I start talking I know I want to say but then it goes away, leaving me feeling embarrassed and kind of well humiliated really.

I spend a lot of time alone, but going out and socialising can really burn me out.

I'm also going for an ADHD assessment which I know has something to do with the cognitive disability, as well as a lifetime of neglect and abuse.

But I feel the comorbidity has made things worse, as I've seen people who have lived a similar life to me that don't have ADHD manage to do things I can't and vice versa, with people that have ADHD but had supportive parents that love them seem to manage their disability better.

I would just love to be able to think straight at least when I'm in public and trying to be happy.

As my time has gone on in therapy, I've noticed an angry part that just seems to be getting angrier and angrier, to the point where I'm starting to not recognise myself.

See I don't know if this anger is coming out because I fawned and flopped so much in my life, and now this part that held on to all this anger is now coming out in ways that I wouldn't like it to.

I am getting an ADHD assessment as well, feel like some of my anger is to do with the difficulties I have cognitively, as well as sifting through our lifetime of emotional and physical neglect at the hands of my mother, and father, funnily enough, at separate times in my life as they got divorced when I was 5, and didn't physically see my dad again till the age of 9 (_i think_ those years can be blurry) who I can't even confront because she's dead. 3 years ago last July. And I have to spoken to my so-called dad in 10+ years.

I don't know if the comorbidity is making it worse, please have anyone else gone through this and managed to unblend?

Even if you don't have ADHD, have anyone come across an angry irritated part and unblend/ soothed it? I feel that is one thing that my part is really angry about. (Not being seen for the struggling child I was, an adult that I am, that I was always seen as lazy or just not trying hard enough makes that misunderstood part furious. And then the years of abuse and neglect at the hands of both parents and my only grandparent. All now of which are either dead or not in my life because f*** that s*** sideways.)

I've done the whole. Give It love and understanding, and thanking them, but this just doesn't seem to budge.

Tltr; to anyone who unearthed a really angry part, how did you go about on blending or soothing. Because this part just seems to not level out, and ruminates a lot.