At my weekly motor threshold checks my motor threshold has gone down each time. Is that normal? I guess I assumed my TMS intensity would go up or at least stay the same once I was at goal but this lowers the intensity. I think it was over 50 the first week and now after my 3rd week it’s 40.
I’m very likely going to need inpatient services soon for depression and ongoing stress/trauma of a teenager with severe mental illness and aggressive behavior. But since I have a chance to consider options, I’m looking for the best place for inpatient treatment! I’m west of Topeka, Ks but open to options. I am also currently doing TMS with a MagVenture delivery system if you know of an inpatient site that can continue that!
Last night I felt like I had a full on EMDR session with my therapist in my dream. It was so weird and so real! Like she would ask what I was noticing, I recognized those thoughts/feelings, she’d say to go with that, and I would go through the whole EMDR process down the rabbit hole! It even felt like my eyes were moving to follow her fingers, even though we usually use tappers. So weird. Anyone else experienced this? Like in my therapy dream I connected the feeling of “unsafe” and “I want out” with all these traumatic experiences and with how I’ve been feeling now with aggressive teenager with mental health issues who threatens us and herself constantly and hits, kicks, throws things, etc - I don’t feel safe and I want out so I have thoughts of wanting to drive off a bridge to get out.
Edit - I had my 7th TMS today. MagVenture theta burst.
Last night I felt like I had a full on EMDR session with my therapist in my dream. It was so weird and so real! Like she would ask what I was noticing, I recognized those thoughts/feelings, she’d say to go with that, and I would go through the whole process down the rabbit hole! So weird. Anyone else experienced this? I am also going through TMS treatments right now so my brain is in overdrive, which I’m sure is a big part of it.
I'm always told to rest and take extra care of myself for a couple of days after my sessions, but with 2 special needs kids, 1 of which has severe emotional disturbance, aggression, etc, I walk right back into chaos every time. How do I do this healing journey with no down time?
I have zero sex drive, 48, post-menopausal after hysterectomy. Has anyone had help with that from TMS? I’m a week into treatment and would love to be able to at least give my husband hope that this will improve!
Anyone done some sort of intensive retreat or like a 1 week program somewhere where there’s a lot of processing? Would love to find this option somewhere! Due to my family situation I feel like that might work better for me - time to work through things without the constant time constraints of a 50 min therapy session and time to safely decompress and care for myself afterwards instead of walking back into our chaos.
I don’t know if it’s our weather (which is ridiculously and oddly only in the 50’s in May) or from my first week of TMS, but I’ve been very cold this week even when my husband isn’t. Is that ever an effect from TMS? It’s not all the time so I don’t think so but…🤷🏻♀️
4/36 treatments so far
just started EMDR and my therapist asked me about a safe or comforting person. I said my dad. then we talked about having him present during the traumatic event as comfort, but that makes no sense to my brain - in both major traumas if my dad had been there they wouldn’t have happened, and I also don’t want to picture my dad present when thinking about being SA by a boyfriend! I’m probably overthinking this - that’s what I do best!🤦🏻♀️
Can anyone help me understand this better? she said if it’s not working we can go a different route.
I have 2 teens with special needs - 1 has severe mental illness and is unpredictable, sometimes aggressive, and just generally sucks the life out of me, and the other has ADHD & FASD and antagonizes her/”pokes the bear”. Trying to manage Spravato when on treatment days I couldn’t drive or possibly manage the chaos at home seems impossible. but between my TRD and taking care of them, keeping everyone safe, driving them to/from school (no bus option), etc I’m at the worst I’ve been in almost 30 years. I just started TMS but my clinic recommended doing Spravato with it for faster relief.
If I do Spravato there is no way I can consider this for long term treatment because of our family situation. is it worth it to try for even short term? I’m also so afraid that continuing to live in the chaos and trauma is going to make both Spravato and TMS less effective. (Yes, everyone is in therapy)
any Advice???