u/SisiIsInSerenity

This is for a work I'm writing. I'm specifically looking for a 360º view of the endoskeleton, I'm trying to see its traps/shoulder blades, but I'm wondering if there's anything to kind of examine its build up close with, especially because it changed from T1 to T2.

The best I could find is here, along with the teaser trailer and the concept arts (there was a whole repository of it somewhere but I lost it).

I don't own any figurines of the endoskeleton itself and I'm not about to drop that much on a life-size one...

I fainted on Tuesday and got fever so I spent all day yesterday in bed and at some point it really hurt. Like just laying there hurt my bones. I couldn't get comfortable in any position, especially one leg atop the other, because, again, too bony. I work in an office so all day my forearms are resting against the desk when I type and that hurts too. When I drive I have an 8-4 position on the steering wheel and my bony freaking elbows rub against my seatbelt or shirt or whatever and even that hurts. I can see my veins in my legs like I'm elderly and my skin is so thin and sallow... this sucks... I want out of this hell disease but it's really not so easy, it's like I can realize it but I can't actualize it. Ugh. Vent over, sorry.

I am in the prime of my life, I am a married, twenty-something young woman living in comfort and even luxury, I have an advanced degree, I am multilingual, I am quite pretty in the face, I want for nothing essentially... but I'm depressed since maybe age ten, and between abuse, CPTSD, PMDD, and anorexia, I am just... tired.

I know that I am in theory allowed to be unhappy even despite my fortunate circumstances. But still I feel guilty. For example, I have a job, and I don't need it, which is a true blessing that many people would want. I made a promise that I would try it for a year and then reevaluate. I have no reason to complain. But I am in the same room and same position all day with a miserable commute, and I get more depressed just being essentially locked in here staring at a screen. My boss is rude to me. I can't just quit, it's not right. So I just grin and bear it. I feel like I'm being weak and soft, people have it far worse than me. What is my problem?

Another, I really wish I could change my personality. Always I was an introverted person who tires easily. I miss out on so much. I wish I could be a partier type, have more friends, be more energetic. I'd have good stories to tell and good experiences. But I just... don't, and can't. I like my quiet nature. But I wish I could do both.

I hate my appearance too. Easily I am the ugliest of my siblings. I am all flat now too due to anorexia when I had a decent body before but there is no way I can get it back. I can't eat enough, I tried. I look like a bag of bones. So unattractive. Isn't it desirable to be so skinny right now? Why can't I be happy?

I loved what I was doing before, even though I still had all these problems, I was happier than before this job... now I lost all desire and energy to do anything, I have no time to enjoy the things I could enjoy, I feel less about myself because I just have no energy to be a housewife as I was before or to read or to write my favorite things. I am inside staring at screens all day and commuting getting very angry at traffic on either end of that and it's a terrible cycle. But so many other people do it. So what again is my problem? I am just bitching right?

I am also so torn between having children or not... I do, but I don't, but not yet, but right now. The pressure could choke me. And I feel like I am missing out so much. But I would give up everything, my life as I know it, the dreams and things I desire. I feel like a failure for being not ready for that. I also don't feel good about bringing a child into this world given the way everything is.

That said, that is its own subject... the way everything is... I have always longed for the 80s-90s like I had a prior life then, and it is aching me so bad lately. I was really bothered by past memories or something. I feel like that post about the lamp nearly. I am driven to tears daily because of this.

I just want to be done, I have everything physically, but emotionally I am just a living dead girl, I am so sad and it has not gone and it will not be gone, yeah...

I think up a lot of random things, so this is the one I'm curious about today, since I had a banana as a part of my breakfast. Mostly for me it's three, sometimes four. Sometimes, two happens. I wonder what's the average number of sections made when peeling.

I was surprised to see it published since the topic I wrote about has been out of the opinions portion for a few weeks now. I want to show and tell my mom and my husband about it like a proud kid. It's kind of a neat thing to participate in local news like this and to try some small bravery.