r/BenignExistence

I am sitting here feeding my baby. I have started making posts on multiple subs but then deleting them. I have a lot of thoughts and feelings and emotions right now and decided I don't know how to type them out so I just started crying instead. Nothing too crazy or exciting. Just money troubles and slight husband communication troubles. But, nonetheless, enough to make me just cry before bed, pissed that I woke up today, and now crying in morning time.

I look down at my baby who is now dream feeding, and see her smile in her sleep. It's precious. Tears are still coming down, but maybe inside I am hurting a little less.

I own a house 2 hours from where I live. It's currently between tenants.

I got a call early this morning from a neighbour letting me know that a) the house wasn't on fire and b) the smoke alarm was going off

I decided to go for a nice drive to check the house out, change the battery, and run errands in the area.

On the way I realised I would need a ladder. I stopped at a hardware store and selected a nice aluminium step ladder.

I got to the house, changed the battery, petted the neighbours dog, then went to Ikea for meatballs.

It was a pleasant day.

If you sit near the front of the buses in my city, you can see the driver of the same route going in the opposite direction wave at your driver.

I just saw one coming and locked my eyes on the driver and silently wished "wave, go on" and then he did.

Delightful.

I love people watching at the gym.

I go 2-4 times a week, which is often enough to get to "know" a lot of the regulars and see their specific journeys.

There's the guy who had a severe hunch a year ago who is almost standing tall now.

The guy in a wheelchair whose upper body is absolutely ripped.

The guy who's overweight and STRONG. Any time I use a machine after him, I need to knock off at least 100 lbs.

The cool punk person who has a different hair color every time I see them.

The guy who I've seen at 3 different locations. They're all a half hour away from each other. How do we keep choosing the same one?

The guy who is always smiling ear to ear while doing cardio. I would love to be that positive about running.

The woman I "stole" an ab exercise from. I did a single set at a much lower weight and my stomach cramped so violently I almost screamed.

And so many old and/or disabled people. People with canes, people with casts, people clearly doing some form of physical therapy.

Even the people with huge muscles, people throwing around 3x their body weight like it's nothing, can be seen hyping themselves up. That dead, exhausted stare at the wall. When you want nothing more than to give up and leave, but you gotta survive one more set. It's hard, it sucks, and that's okay! We're all having a simultaneously good and bad time.

The gym I use has a bad reputation, but it really is a place where people are (generally) exercising for health and self improvement. I haven't talked to anyone beyond "how many sets do you have left?" or "can I grab this?" but I feel less alone when I'm there. Whether I'm hitting a new personal best or doing therapy for chronic pain, there's no shame. We're all just doing our best.

I was about to wake the spouse from their nap, but they were already up and excited to watch from our porch.

Also, now I know I can wake them to let our small boy cat under the blanket.

That's it.