u/SketchKYR

Hi, I forgot to add my location to my post, so sorry.

I’m looking for a small loan for gas and feminine products. Just to get by.

Thank you.

Hello, I’m looking to get an emergency small loan for essentials. Gas for work, and pads. I can pay back via PayPal. If anyone can help me out, that would be awesome. Thank you.

Last week, I’d noticed an ant crawling above my sink in the kitchen.

I kill, continue to do dishes.

The next day, there were about four or five by my kitchen.

They’re those little black ants. Sugar ants, I think?

I don’t know if the hot Arizona weather made them run for cooler shelter, or they’d smelled my chicken, broccoli, and rice dinner through a hole in the wall.

I just knew, there was now a problem.

So, my gut reaction, because I’m pretty inexperienced despite being in my early 30s, is to spray everything with my old Ant and Roach Raid.

Did it work? Yes.
Did they stay away? Of course they didn’t.

The worst part? They were now going across my tile floor, and had started to show up in my living room area. Five years ago, I would’ve probably panicked and cried.

That day, I still panicked, I still cried, and then I’d poured my fear into researching.

I could’ve told my landlord, but after she was involved in helping me escape domestic violence, I didn’t want to bother her.

I’d learned that you’d have to kill the colony at the source (the Queen), and Google suggested liquid ant bait. Basically it’s poison that tastes so good, they share it with the queen, not realizing they’re committing friendly fire.

Ran to the nearest Lowe’s with the last bit of money I had, and bought a six pack.

I’d set four of those up around the apartment as soon as I got back, and waited.

Nothing. I watched the ants pass it by. Don’t they like that stuff?

My twin sister suddenly suggests to put one on the window sill. She’d seen a crack there.

I open the curtain, and see that there’s a few ants. The crack my twin sister mentioned, was at least three of them. I could even see the light through it.

I put one right in front of the crack. One of the ants took to it. Then it ran into the crack after a little bit.

Minutes later, that little monster brought what felt like the entire colony. It was hundreds of ants trying to feed on this bait.

My twin and I started freaking out, not realizing until a few minutes later that the ants found the rest of the bait traps.

They were EVERYWHERE.

So, we had no choice but to allow them to feed. We’d go to work, come home, retreat to our bedrooms. Next day, same thing.

The day after, it was as if everything stopped. The ants were either gone, or dead. There were so many left in the baits, hanging on the baits, near the baits, but there was no movement.

We waited until there was 72 full hours without a single movement, and today, I’d cleaned up, caulked every hole I could find, mopped, vacuumed, etc.

The only thing now is to patch a hole in the wall that was left from my older sister’s boyfriend kicking it in a fit of anger.

I feel like I’d survived a crisis, learned a ton from it, and now I’m prepared if the issue arises again.

I sure hope it doesn’t.

The title if no one wants to read. Just needed to get this out there. I’m sorry, this is long.

October of 2025 was the month I confronted domestic violence, by serving him his restraining order. This decision was made in the hospital bed after I made my final, and worst attempt, on my life.

He violated it with the help of my older sibling immediately for a few days, while she continued abusing me/justifying his behavior in his place. He was arrested after confronting my landlord.

I had to get one on her, too, which hurt, because I’d tried supporting and helping her and my nieces and nephew for the past five years. They lived in my apartment for free and did not contribute.

They love bombed me for a few months (as long as I gave them money, child care, and any type of support that did not involve their own effort), then things went down from there.

This included in no particular order: camera in my bathroom vent, broken property, sending unsolicited pictures of his penis, writing derogatory words on my door, breaking into my room and smashing my tv, him calling me the N-Word and ‘that thing’, not allowing me to shower, and threatening to hurt/kill/get me.

There was more that happened, and I tried to talk to my sibling about her boyfriend’s behavior, but she minimized all these behaviors. She told me if I did more for them (I did just about everything including child care), he wouldn’t be so angry. She asked me why I wouldn’t just conform. All while he continued to increase his violence against her, the kids, all of us girls, and eventually, me. All because I started to pull back from it all.

After he was taken to jail, she got him out the next day. While she was verbally abusing me, bringing up how my mom always said I was lazy (I cared for her as she passed from cancer while she lived in another state to help him get ‘clean’), insulted me for being Autistic (saying I don’t know what a threat is, and I didn’t know how to communicate) and threatened to bring him back, my neighbors alerted me to Ring footage of her letting him in and out of my apartment while I was at work. That was when I realized she chose him, and not the safety of everyone involved, especially the kids. I could not help her anymore without being in danger.

I’d been trying to rebuild since. It’s been up and down, but last Thursday, he finally pled guilty and was sentenced. He had pushed back and evaded consequences for six months.

Today, I went to the mall and hung out there, then came home to a quiet house without cameras hiding anywhere. I have the ability to shower, to leave my doors open, and to get dressed without him ‘accidentally’ barging in. I can laugh without being shamed or looked at strange. I can cry and voice my pain without invalidation or just a bandaid solution.

My productivity at work has greatly improved. I’ve now been there almost nine years. I’m actually thinking about goals for my future, and stressful situations do not feel like the end of the world anymore.

Despite no family being there for me, except my twin sister, I feel loved. I feel respected by my job, and strangers. Blood family had enabled domestic violence for so long, to the point that if anyone speaks out, they’re shunned, or made out to be full of mental health issues.

Best of all, though, I feel free… and I haven’t had a thought of life not being worth it since. Not one ideation. I’m happy to be alive. I’m grateful.

Do I struggle here and there with mental health symptoms? Yes. Those will not go away, especially since I’ve been traumatized over, and over, and over again, growing up, up until that point, when I said enough was enough.

I’m better for it.