“Everything Can Change in an Instant, Whether or Not You’re Ready”
I stopped playing Fallout 4 for a while, but picked it up again recently.
I’ve been going through some things, so I wanted to share a little something about myself, my relationship with this game. Maybe it will help.
I played it back in 2015 when it was first released. It was a fun game, but it was just that. A game.
In 2021 I lost my child. She was only three years old. It wasn’t Covid. It wasn’t an accident. She was stolen from me.
I was a wreck in the aftermath of her loss. My days consisted of nothing more than drinking and getting into fist fights. I was constantly bouncing in and out of jail or the hospital because I’d end up getting hurt. I pushed away everyone that ever cared about me because I would lash out at them. My fiancé was on the verge of leaving me because I wasn’t dealing with my shit. Hell, he’d even moved out at the time, so it was just me and my dog.
When I got tired of rotting alone on the couch, I picked up Fallout 4 and started the game fresh. My life now mirrored the story in the game. I understood what it was like to lose, to be so desperate to get back what was taken. Every step taken, every decision made in the game became real, at least to me.
Fallout 4 helped me so much in dealing with my loss, and, I guess, in some way find some sort of closure with my daughter. It helped me start the healing, so I could continue to live.
Things have gotten better and worse over the years. The pain never goes away, and the consequences of my actions after she was gone continue to haunt me. But I will always be grateful for and hold Fallout 4 in a special place in my heart because of how it helped me get through the pain.
I wanted to make this post because I’ve recently realized how much of myself I’ve actually lost over the years, and I am trying to find it again. I’ve never spoken about it to anyone. I just feel like I cut off a piece of myself and locked it away in a box, only I lost the key. Maybe saying it here might help. I don’t know.
Sorry for the sadness. Sorry again if this sort of post isn’t allowed here. Mods can delete it for all I care.
I’m gonna go play the game again.
Edit: Thanks everyone for the love. I honestly expected just to get shit on for a post like this because, well, it’s the internet and people can be cruel. But all of your words seriously touched me, so thank you. Much love to all of you ❤️✌️ Seriously the best fandom in the world
It’s Not Just Piss Anymore
Watch out for falling furniture! Gotta wear a helmet and make sure to take an umbrella every time you go outside.
I heard a bunch of crashing noises outside and when I looked I saw this. Wtf is wrong with all the people above me??
Edit: I know the reasonable thing would be to call the police, and I have done that for a few things in the past, but the police in my area just do not take anything seriously. They have a response time slower than a snail trying to slither through a puddle of molasses, and that’s even if they choose to show up at all.
Even just yesterday, I tried to call to report shit like this and I got a fucking AI that told me to report it to neighborhood services through a fucking app and then it hung up on me 💀 Cops don’t even answer the goddamn phones anymore.
God forbid somebody is in any serious trouble. One time I tried to report this random man that approached me on the street that was sexually harassing me and following me at like 4PM one day, and the cops didn’t show up until fucking 7AM the following day.
So yeah, I’ve given up on the cops. Fuck em.
Dumping Piss Part 2 Electric Boogaloo
I made a post earlier today about a neighbor on an upper floor throwing piss out their window onto the street below and how it’s been splashing back up through my windows.
It was reported to property management, who never responded - surprise surprise - but I just got off the phone with the man from code enforcement who is going to be investigating the matter and boy do I got an update for you.
Investigator T was absolutely flabbergasted that somebody could possibly be dumping piss out of their window and he asked me, “Why do you think they’re doing this?” I was like I dunno 🤷♀️ They’re drug addicts and just like really dirty people.
He told me he was skeptical of it being actual urine they’re dumping out. He shared that he had been a cop in Las Vegas for 30 years, and in that time he learned that when people are cooking meth, the byproduct of it can oftentimes smell like piss.
I was like oh shit, should I call the police? But he offered to call them for me.
He said he’s gonna be out this week to investigate things and he seems really excited about it because he’s never heard of something like this happening before. Shit, he sounded so excited about it that he even got me excited too.
I seriously cannot wait to see what ends up happening, especially since they’re now concerned they’re cooking and the cops are getting involved. I literally cannot wait to see what ends up happening to property management too, since they won’t take my complaints seriously and won’t respond.
I’ll update again when something new happens
Upstairs Neighbor Dumping Piss From Window
Like it says in the title. Every day, every few hours, one of our neighbors above us dumps a cup of piss out of their window and it comes splattering down on the asphalt in front of our windows, spraying back up onto them. Talking to management doesn’t work. Their neglectful asses don’t do anything around here.
Wtf am I supposed to do about this? It’s getting to the point that I’m about to beat somebody’s ass over it, but I’m not trying to catch an assault charge over fucking piss flying from a window.
Is there anything I can do? Like is this a police matter or something for public health services?
Someone tell me what to do!
Edit: City Code Enforcement got back to me not long ago and told me they have opened a case for me and that they will be investigating it. Yay! Hopefully, this will get the piss-tossers to stop.
Never heard anything back from property management, unsurprisingly.
Best Maintenance Man Ever
So at our complex, we have a maintenance man that has been working here for about half a year, and he has been just absolutely fantastic. Out of everyone that “works” at the property, he is the only one I have ever seen actually perform his job duties, and what’s more, he goes beyond even that. Today, he found a package of ours that had been just kind of chucked and left by the wayside by Amazon (fuck those people btw) and he picked it up, along with all of my other neighbors’ abandoned packages and was hand delivering them himself, even though, it really is not his job.
I just feel so thankful and grateful to have this person around to take care of this place when none of the other employees give even half a damn. I want to show our appreciation for his work, perhaps by giving him a gift or something, but I don’t want it to seem odd.
Has anyone else ever celebrated their property’s maintenance workers or given them gifts of thanks? Any suggestions for a show of appreciation?
Larvae that Randomly Showed Up
So I’m just going about my daily chores and picked up a lone dish left on my kitchen counter from making breakfast this morning when I saw something wriggling just behind it. It was this thing.
I looked around and saw two more. All of them were just wriggling around about 8 inches apart from each other.
What are they? Obviously, they’re some kind of larva, but from what insect?
I don’t even know where they came from because I had been in the kitchen for like 2 hours this morning and never saw them or anything else anywhere in the kitchen. They literally just showed up out of nowhere.
Neighbor Crashing Out in Laundry Room
A grown woman was apparently practicing her best impression of an enraged pterodactyl in the laundry room today 😂 I seriously thought someone was being killed right across the hall.
I walked over to make sure everything was okay and then just hear her scream, “WHY WON’T IT WORK?!”
For context, two of hour machines have been broken the last couple days, and it displays that on the little screens on the machines. I’m assuming she put her laundry in one of the broken ones and then had a mental breakdown when it wouldn’t start.
This lady went on screaming and sobbing for a whole 10 minutes. Over a washing machine. Like it’s okay. Just take it out and put it in the working machine next to it lol
Upside for me, I was having a bad day, until I heard that woman. It made me feel better because at least my day was not going nearly as bad as hers lmao
Mod for Year-Round Crops
I saw a mod, once upon a time, for keeping crops in the ground throughout the year. Not producing the entire time, rather they go dormant outside of their production season.
For some reason I can’t find it now. I’ve been looking all over Nexus Mods and tried searching on Google and Reddit. Everything I’ve found has been outdated by 4-6 years and is not being maintained anymore, but the one I saw was much more recent, within the last year or two.
I don’t know why I can’t seem to find it anymore. It’s like it just up and disappeared.
If anyone could help me find it, I would really appreciate it!