u/Sky_Stella

I'm apart of the non-binary umbrella (demigirlflux, AFAB), and I'm closeted to be specific. I'm also a teenager (15 and a half) to make this make more sense.

Today I went to a summer camp and I had to introduce myself with my deadname (my new name is Alva). It made me uncomfortable but I didn't think much of it and introduced myself with it, feeling nervous.

Honestly, I've known I wasn't a girl completely when I was 10-12 and a half years old and changed my name since my birth one didn't feel fitting but I've been closeted for these past few years, so you can already guess I had to use my deadname not just at school but for other places; like the gym (I go there twice a week). I haven't told anybody the name I prefer to be called and I can't tell the reason why I find it difficult to make others call me Alva outside of my parents (specifically my mom, but my dad too).

Every time I hear someone with my deadname being called I think they're calling me (my deadname is common, unfortunately) so I look around only to realize they were talking to another person with the name (it's a female name so technically a girl with it), and it makes me feel even more dysphoric(?) but I don't show much stress. Only people who know about my new name and identity outside of the internet are my older brother and irl best friend, other than them I'm closeted with other people I know.

I tried doing research about this but I couldn't find anything that helped me understand this, so...a little help please? I know this sounds dumb but I've been doubting myself for a bit over this now.

Ever since I was 10 I've started exploring my sexual orientation. The first label I used was lesbian because I had a crush on my bff back in 5th grade (lost feelings for her though and idk if it's normal), but I remember simping (?) over male characters and changed to bisexual (I put "(?)" because I'm not sure if it was actual simping), then I switched with lesbian again since I felt attraction to women only and bisexual again for some reason.

On September 2021 I started middle school and I went with the pansexual label, however I switched to lesbian AGAIN and then back to bisexual 🫠 bro what was I doing 💔 I did hear about the abrosexual label on November of the same year but didn't think much of it.

When I thought I was a trans guy at 11 and a half to 12 years old (I was exploring my gender so that's different) I was attracted to men, labeling myself as gay, and months later I switched to aroace.

On June or July 2023 I went back to the lesbian label and haven't changed much since then — only thing that was added was me labeling myself as asexual last year and this year I used a few aromantic labels (and I'm using one right one [demiromantic]).

I've been remembering these experiences I had since I was at the beginning of puberty and now I've been questioning for a few months if I'm abrosexual 🥹 I'm 15 and a half btw, and also a demigirlflux. I'm comfortable with my gender identity but I'm not fully sure with my sexuality rn lmao 😭

This sounds a bit stupid but I need to get this off my chest.

I've lately been seeing old people, especially on platforms like TikTok, talking about how non-binary is "a new brand of sexism". And I've recently watched a video on TikTok of a woman explaining this.

This got me thinking if they've even done their research about non-binary and the umbrella of it 😭 because gender identity literally has nothing to do with gender stereotypes, and most non-binary people I've seen don't even identify as non-binary because of stereotypes, that's just how they feel.

Idk, maybe I'm just overreacting but as someone under the umbrella (demigirlflux) it makes me feel offended seeing people say these things about us.

So I'm wondering, why do they think being non-binary is "just a coping mechanism of sexism"? Especially when discussing about AFAB non-binary people?

I feel embarrassed by even making this post but I'm a little confused about myself, so I'd like some advice.

Okay so for nearly 3 years, I've identified as a demi-girl. I thought I was one for so long until I heard about the librafeminine label back in February this year and started questioning if I was actually librafem. I suspected that I was so on May 26th I started using the label. However, early this month I've started thinking if I was actually bigender.

I have a feeling I could be bigender but I'm not completely sure. I know for a fact I'm not a girl fully, I've had this feeling since I was 10, but I can't tell if I'm one of the two labels or a mix of both, just switching up from being 50% a girl and 50% agender to 90% agender and 10% girl. I don't really bother much about this but it's been on my mind lately and I just wanna know more about myself.

I apologize if this confuses you in anyway due to my wording, I've just been questioning for a while now. I mean I've used this label like *twice* back in middle school while exploring my identity 😭 so uhm yeah 🥹

I'm not sure if this is the best subreddit to ask this question, but I guess I'll ask anyway.

I've seen many lesbians on social media especially on TikTok saying that they have crushes on fictional men, and I've been meaning to ask if having crushes on fictional men doesn't actually make them lesbians? Because I've seen MANY conversations that you're not a lesbian for crushing on fictional men, but I've also seen discussions on how they can still be lesbians while crushing on fictional men.

Personally for me when I was little I don't think my "crushes" on fictional men were actually crushes, I just confused being attached to a male character as having a crush on him (I was dumb okay 💔) so I'd often ship myself with them, however I've seen lesbians who actually have crushes on fictional men and would say stuff like "I'd let him smash me" or something like that.

Personally for me I really don't care but that's only because I usually don't have any opinions on this.

I've been stressing about this so bad in my head 😭 and honestly as a lesbian myself I hate these words so badly especially since I don't wanna fall in love with a man.

I'm also pretty sure your sexuality doesn't actually change, it's just how you label it. Of course we got the fluid sexualities, such as abrosexual, but homosexuality isn't fluid; it's static. It's only fluid with what type you like. That's it.

Man I'm tired and stressed this out so bad 🫩