u/Slight_Street_9069

I’m 21, I reached a turning point where I feel like I have to flip my life upside down or something like that. Started this summer after one night drinking alone, I hit up my childhood girl best friend. We spent almost every weekend together with her and her family, got to know her kid and we got to know each other again, after 6 years of not talking. I love her as I love my sister, even more when we were just kids.

Then I stopped smoking weed, I smoked every day almost for 3 years and it fucked me up a bit. I’m an addict, not just to weed but to not being sober. I loved being a zombie, last time I was dabbing pure thca isolate, wanting it to hit me like a truck without using harder substances. I am proud to say I am sober off weed for 2 weeks now, brain fog finally cleared up. Now mind me, I love life, I found small pleasures in everything, I am joyful. But I’m also alone and lonely, I had to realise it. I kinda became an introvert-antisocial, but like I still talk a lot at work, with my family, with the few friends I have. I want more, I don’t want to be this anymore. I want to be able to go up to people alone and talk to them, make new relationships, friends, I want a new people in my life. I shut myself off from romantic relationships for the past 4 years and now that every weekend I woke up next to friend, made me realise I am so lonely. But I won’t go actively looking for someone. I don’t want to chase around, I want to give myself the opportunity to meet people and if it comes to it, don’t back out.

I think this is also coming from doing an LSD trip on my first vacation (like I paid for it, organised and took 2 of my friends with me, it was really nice), because since I came home, I feel and want the urge to move out. I live with granny in a village, I am planning to move into a flat in the city just have to wait if they extend my contract at work. I make good money working in a factory so I can afford it.

Think it’s part because I haven’t felt this “sharp” (no more brain fog) in years, I said fuck it and bought a ticket to a concert in an other country, booked an airbnb. I’m going solo and I’m gonna get it all out of me. It’s a metal band, who I don’t really know but it’s the heaviest I can seen the soonest. Then I’m going to an underground hardcore metal club. I want to mosh, pogo, jump around, scream till I can’t speak anymore. I feel this urge to just go and try talking to people, learn again how to socialise. And I want to go to more concerts alone, I think if I can step this, it’ll be easier.

And I’m also stopping with the alcohol, because sadly I think I drank almost every day for the past month, in a 2 week really bad depressive episode, then to skip the weed withdrawal, then to replace weed and also socially (I don’t mind that, but alone has to stop) but I am not stupid, I know how bad is alcohol on your body.

Today I woke up feeling like on top of the world but I was hangover af. Randomly (we’ve been talking for weeks now, again) hit up a friend amid he can take me home and we went out to eat, drove around, talked and listened to music. It felt so nice, I also approached the guy making us the food to tell him he has the best around here (he really does, best fucking gyros of my life), we dapped up, and I have never done that. Me approaching someone and be the first one talking, really small thing but It felt sooo good.

It’s like my long forgotten extrovert me is wanting to beak out its shell. Sadly, I made myself this really comfortable bubble, it’s safe. I can’t do it anymore.

And I have been thinking about this phrase one of my coworkers said to me: some dream their life, some live their dreams (best translation I can think of) and I’ve never thought a small little thing someone says can get to me this much.

Csak egy kis háttérnek, de nem tudom mennyire releváns ehhez a kérdéshez. Küzdök magammal és szeretnék ki szabadulni a burokból amiben eddig éltem.

Szóval be van tervezve egy Leander koncert (annyira nem hallgatom őket, de pont minden úgy adja ki hogy el tudok menni rá.

Nagyon nagy vágyam hogy részt vegyek egy mosh pitbe, pogózni akarok az első sorokban, kiadni magamból mindent. És ebből adódóan ha itt nem jönne ez, nagyon régóta érdekel milyen lehet egy underground thrash/death/deathcore koncert is. Nem zavar ha nem feltétlenül ismerem a bandát, imádok uj zenéket felfedezni.

De hogy képzeljek el egy ilyent? Milyenek az emberek? Mennyire hangos? Milyen a hangulat egy ilyen eseményen? Veszélyes egyedül menni egy ilyen helyre? Én a Supersonicot néztem ki se mi a különbség a Blue hell és KVLT közt? Erről nem nagyon találok infót

Örülnék ha valaki tudna mesélni, személyes tapasztalatokat, hell, lehet valaki volt már ugyanebben a helyzetben.

Before doing psychedelics, or even smoking, I thought this state was a psychedelic.

I smoked for years now, and have a few LSD and shroom trips under my belt. I just realised it now, even though I’ve read about it before.

Maybe it is just a change in prescription and experience after doing real psychedelics (and it’s said that it can change how you experience other drugs after, even in some cases becoming resentful of addiction, developing anxiety to weed high) it changed how I look at it, because after all it made me realise I’m an addict, it just changed the high.

I’m high and drunk now, but don’t let that worry you.

Most kezdtünk el dolgozni újra egy hónap után, és a fasz ki van már most az egészből. Kicsit szenvedés lesz ez a nap, és nincs nagyon senkivel beszélgetnem, kollégákkal főleg mert most valahogy nagyon nincs kedvem hozzájuk és a nyavajgasukat hallgatni.

Rólam: 21 éves fiú vagyok Felvidékről de Magyarországon dolgozok m, személy szerint mókásnak és élettel telinek valannám magam, de most valahogy ahhh.

Fiuk/lanyok, dm nyitva

People be getting on my nerves, recently started talking with my childhood best friend, I’d say chosen sister but all I have been hearing from my family is that “have you slept with her?” and “are you official yet” and it’s annoying af. but hopefully they’ll get used to it.

So do you think opposite gender friendships can work? I personally love that bitch like my family and never had any romantical feelings about her, I think it’s the same from her side. We did some dumb shit when we’re kids, but we’re not horny animals anymore.

But I also get why some think we’re more because of our relationship is pretty different from others I have with people, like we have helped each other get dressed and take a shower when one of us was so fucked up (we drink a lot with her family on weekends when she doesn’t have her kid), I help her with chores when I’m over but she lives with her idiotic sister and I feel bad for her.

But damn still people, is it not believable that we’re just really good friends? Even after not talking for 5-6 long years, we picked up where we left off and I’d trust her with my life. I am a really picky person when it comes to whom I let close to myself, so that says something.

Thank you for listening to my rant, even my friends fuck with me so I needed to get it out

So, 21, I plan to move into a 1/2br apartment from village to a city, if everything goes to plan at the first few months of next year.

I live with granny now (she’d still have her family of 4 living with her in the yard), but honestly I’m getting tired of her and I want to be alone in peace, do my own things, prep my food without anyone bothering me and I think I make enough now that I can start living independently and taking on more responsibilities.

I’m saving up 1,5k€ for the deposit (usually a 3 month rent upfront) and I take home 1300€, which is above avarage for where I live and I can rent for 400-500€, I think I can manage on the rest.

I wanted to ask you guys for advice, what to watch out for and what to expect. I’d have my mother and sister living in the city, so I’ll have help especially in the first few months like because I don’t own a washing machine for example and I want to slowly build everything up myself 😂 I own a tv, a couch, a desk and a computer setup so I’m thinking on buying a fridge first (if the apartment wouldn’t have one) and appliances.