u/Slow_Plan_7035

I’m looking for a psychological/biological or just logical explanation for why since my break up few years ago I turned into someone who crushes obsessively and often.

In my first decade of dating I had a combined of maybe 3 crushes, in the 2 years since my worst break up I had 8 or 9. It can be directed at anyone with no real compatibility to give cause. I become enamoured and obssessed over that person, checking their last seen (something I never did before), stalking their socials, daydreaming about them, feeling flustered near them. In happens so quickly and holds for a few months and then is gone just as quickly.

I genuinely don’t feel ok in the head with how it has been, I used to be cool as a cucumber but now I’m practically manic. Anyone went through this or knows what it could be?

Currently on £120-130k TC but don’t feel well off at all. Wonder at what salary most people start feeling well off esp. in London?

What title says, what is a good Google L4 salary for London.

Had my final round 3 weeks ago. I cleared all 4 as SH. Yet since final round it has been 3 weeks and I have not had the decision made yet and yes there have been holidays + recruiter told me this/keeps me updated. He keeps promising that the decision will be made this week but then it doesn’t and rolls over to next. Can’t tell if I’m on the back burner or this is just their process.

I am in my late 20s and I don’t know why but it was only in my mid 20s that it occurred just how much my parents abused me. Me and them are mostly on good terms now. I earn a good living, I’m in the top 10% or so, did graduate at a good uni and did quite well. I visit and get on with them and continue helping them with their life. I would say I am very involved with their life, mitigating their disputes, caring for them, planning their retirement, drafting their contracts, lending them money etc etc.

I always knew I was mistreated as a kid. I just never paid attention to how bad it was because I had other things to focus on. For whatever reason it came back to me when I was around my mid 20s, maybe in part due to the fact that I became the same age as when they would’ve had me. The shit they put me through. For example. Once I forgot to clean my cats litter box again (at age 14) so my dad killed my cat by putting his weigh on it until its guts came out out of its **s. Then another time my I was late home from school 20 mins so my mum broke my arm. Another time my parents forgot their shopping vouchers so I had to run back to get them but I needed to pee but they forbade and threatened me so i went without which meant I peed myself halfway home, peeing myself in public at age 15 or so. It’s very long list of things so I won’t go into it but this is perhaps 5% of it.

Yet now they have been more nice in last few years, especially dad, he has been a decent parent helping me move etc. but they have been very pushy about me making sure ‘they retire well’. Idk if in part because I was the first in the household who broke away from that poverty lifestyle. I also have a sibling and it is so weird to observe how well they treat him vs me.

But Yh anyway I had thought of potentially cutting contact because genuinely I experience so much pain thinking about what happened to me now that I am of age they were when they had me.