u/Smol_Kiwi23

Hi y’all. I’m looking for songs that revolve around religious trauma, healing, and deconstruction.

Right now my favorite song for this topic is “mad at god” by Sarah Saint James. It’s therapeutic to me. I’m looking to make a playlist to listen to when I’m being tempted to go back to Christianity.

Thank y’all so much!! 🩷

Hey y'all. I'm posting here because I really don't know where else to post or else to talk to about something like this. I'll try my best to keep it short and summarized.

I was born and raised in a very conservative Christian household. My mom is currently a Reformed (Calvinist) Baptist and is in a very cult-like church (honestly might even call it a full blown cult). I had grown up in a very hateful household. I have very heavy trauma related to the church, Christians, and God in general.

I had left Christianity in October of 2020. I have tried to come back numerous times, but each time it felt like I was going back to an abusive ex. I keep running away because I am traumatized. I am reminded of why I left each time I try coming back. The modern Christians today are very cruel and hateful towards people like me (queer and disabled) and often push me right back out of the community.

I have tried desperately to find connection with God, but all I find is silence and darkness. I feel so alone and so abandoned. I have been told numerous times that it is too late for someone like me. I don't really know what I believe anymore.

I guess the purpose of this post is to ask for support and advice. I want to go to this Episcopal church that is nearby. I last went on Easter (big mistake as it was my first time going there too and it was very crowded). Any and all helpful advice is welcome.

TIA