u/Sn0wInSummer

Was diagnosed today with a bad case of plantar fasciitis in my right foot. I’m in crazy pain and my back hurts even more than my foot. I can’t take otc pain meds so I just push through when I can. Most days I’m in tears.

Anyways, came home from the doc appointment wearing a boot with instructions to stay off my feet as much as possible. Told my very depressed & anxiety ridden partner and he just froze. He spiraled down and went off on himself, verbally abusing himself and he stormed away to the basement and that’s where he stayed all night. Totally avoiding me.

As he stormed away, he was saying he “can’t fix everything”. He took my diagnosis personally, as if it’s HIS fault. I’m at a loss. I NEED help, support and comforting. I get NOTHING. He left to walk to the convenience store & he treated himself to something good. Nothing for me to make me feel better about my miserable existence.

Went to bed early, he took it personally that I “don’t want to be around him”. No, I need to rest, doctors orders. I’m stuck taking care of the house, shopping, cats, and more (I work part time, not on purpose).

I hate this to the nth degree. I know already my struggles will fall on blind eyes and deaf ears.

Does anyone else have PF and bone spurs in the same foot? If so how do you handle it?

The splint at night pushes up against my heel, causing pain & discomfort that I can’t sleep. I usually end up taking it off in the middle of the night. I’m at a loss and I can’t take pain meds.

Do ultimatums work?

My therapist and a mental health facility that I spoke with mentioned giving my (f56) partner (m54) of 6 years an ultimatum.

Go into an IOP or PHP mental health program or I leave.

My mental health is taking a massive beating from being around him and I need to take action. I have options to move to but it’s not ideal at all cause I have an elderly cat that needs me.

Left work early from an office job where I have to wait on residents at a window. Each transaction takes about 5+ minutes each and it’s the super busy time of the year. It doesn’t help that they just let a staff member go last week in the middle of crazy busy season.

I work part time and was asked to work full time hours until the 2 full timers figure out what to do with the ex employees work that they left half done. I spend a huge chunk of my time at the window waiting on these residents who tend to be in a nasty mood and tend to take it out on me. I don’t take it personally, but it wears me down. Standing for hours, without a break to get off my feet and stretch makes my PF intensify. I wrote an email this morning that I’ll be happy to help with the work load and stay late but as long as I’m not stuck at the window waiting on every single person that comes in. THAT fell on deaf ears. It’s as if my small office had no empathy or compassion s as my just sit there doing their own thing or looking at their phone.

The pain was so bad that I was crying off and on in the ladies room. I could barely string a sentence together cause the pain was severe. My 3 coworkers know I have PF and just ignore that I’m overwhelmed and need a fuckimg break from standing at the window (no stool, cause there’s no room. I have my inserts and prop my foot up at the counter when I can, but that doesn’t help much. I stretch when I’m able to which only amplifies my pain. Plus it doesn’t help that I have bone spurs.

How does one get through to coworkers that you’ve had too much and need help? I was on the verge of quitting, but I’m down to $2 in my checking account and just need to suck it up. I know it’s gonna make things worse and my doc appt is in about 2 weeks. I can barely walk right now yet no one cares. It’s bad and I’m tired of crying.

Do I have to wear a sign to be noticed cause I’m the low man on the totem pole cause I’m the part time person?! Can’t take prescription pain meds cause I’ll be looney toons on the job and Advil/tylenol doesn’t touch the pain.

My back hurts and my life sucks.

My (56f) partner (54m) have been together 6 years and loved together for 4. He has 2 boys (12 18) with his ex wife who live about 2 miles from us.

He has struggled with severe anxiety, depression and suicidal ideation since he was a teenager. He was raised by hands-off parents who told him to just suck it up and send him to a ruthless & mean catholic school. The stories he has told me about his time in school is beyond sad. The nuns were quite abusive verbally, emotionally, and sometimes physically. That school since has been shut for obvious reasons.

With that schooling and lack of parental guidance and support, he grew up not truly knowing to be happy or joy. He says he’s “never allowed to be or know peace”. He’s miserable and talks about
leaving this world on a daily basis. Any little thing that sets him off, his immediate reaction is to talk about the ways to leave. He’s on heavy medication and his therapist of 10+ years dropped him cause he doesn’t help himself or do the homework. He doesn’t want a new therapist because, to him, they’ll “hate him too”. I try to support him the best I know but I fail every time. He’s very smart, high IQ, undiagnosed ADHD (his 12y has it), and definitely is on the spectrum (he doesn’t want to be tested despite his father having it and the 12y old). {my ex husband worked with autistic children in a public school when we were married}. My partner thinks just popping the pills is the only way and nothing else. I’m not sure if he wants to get better or not.

He’s an introvert, has social anxiety, doesn’t leave the house (he works remotely), doesn’t trust the outside world, believes everyone is judging him, plus more. He has major food issues as well and eats like a kid. Lots of sugar & carbs (he never learned to cook for himself since he was left alone a lot as a kid). He watches TV all the time help, we never go anywhere even though he makes really good* *money and has no debt (minus child support for 1 kid.

His ex wife is a mess. Extrovert, selfish, undiagnosed ADHD, doesn’t bother to ask people’s opinions, she just does what she wants without asking us, and fails miserably at communicating. So, there’s a lot of last minute stuff she dumps on us which throws our home into chaos. It’s really bad and difficult in the summer. To keep the peace, my partner just goes along with whatever she plans for his 12 yr old and throws money at it hoping to keep things calms (HA). Her time, plans, ideas and schedule are more important than anyone else’s.

Anyways, thank you for listening this far. My big question is, when do you help commit someone to a hospital? There was a major incident this weekend with the 12y and the ex flipped out, panicking at full blast. After things calmed down, I tried to talk him off the ledge after watching him hit himself over and over again (he has a history of self harm). Nothing I said or tried (in an un-emotional tone) worked. He stormed off, slamming doors and screaming at himself about what he needs to do to escape the world. He came back to me and said a hospital is his only chance.

Me, I struggle with CPTSD from an emotionally, verbally abusive household where my dad was angry and depressed all the time. Talked of how us kids were better off without him. Same thing as my partner. I will not get into how hands off and unstable my mother was. I see a therapist and I have gone through intensive outpatient therapy, which helped tremendously. I’ve spoken to my partner about entering into such a live saving program but he refuses. Makes excuses like he’ll lose his job, lose money and lose custody of the kid. It’s not true but his anxiety brain tells him YES you will lose everything. So, like always, he believes the negative voices in his head.
NOTHING CHANGES!!!!

I told him I’ll get the information for him and hopefully he’ll be open to it. He desperately needs help. I cannot leave because of my financial situation and have no family to live with. I am stuck.

Any help, guidance, kind words, are most appreciated. Thank you for listening.

Pre-sale tickets for GA for the Salt Shed in Chicago says it’s “outdoors”. Does anyone know if this correct? If it is, it’s gonna be cold outside. Not thrilled about that thought.

I have been practicing tarot since January 1 with a deck I bought myself. I try to do a single card pull everyday, but sometimes life gets in the way. With that deck, I want getting very clear answers but kept moving forward.

A friend gifted me Tarot of Pagan Cats and started using them. I am not getting clear answers to my questions.

Does this change have anything to do with the old wives tale that a persons needs to be gifted tarot for the cards to “work”?

I’m loving the deck!