u/SoSueMe1234

As the title says, I (31 F) think my husband(31M) is becoming red pilled? I’m sorry if this is wrong sub, I have no idea where I should go. I don’t know all the terminology of everything but he seems to be on Facebook and twitter a lot, like any free time he’s on there. He’s always been a VERY black and white person and is right/conservative leaning, but now it’s gotten more extreme.

At first it started innocently- he wanted to keep up to date with politics and what’s going on in the news (this was around trumps first term when things were kinda crazy). He watched a lot of Tim Pool and Ben Sharpiro.

During Bidens Term- sorry for the way I’m saying the times but this is how things seemed to group together- he was getting very freaked out about - possible Civil war and illegal immigrants doing bad things, and the left turning us all communist. This is around the time we also had our first child and I chalked it up to his anxiety of now feeling like he needs to protect us, so he’s consuming tons of news to try to stay ahead of bad things happening.

So now during trumps second term, I’ve noticed that the stuff he talks about it’s just general news type items. He’s mentioned multiple times how women are to blame for liberals taking over society because they vote with their emotions not facts, any race other than white is bad, these things with Lindsey Clancy and the Cornell frat, it’s the women’s fault- she killed her kids are needs to go to jail forever, there are texts that the girl wanted to sleep with all of them. No nuance, no discussion, always taking the man’s side.

It’s not like he talks about this stuff all day long, and he hasn’t done/said anything specific to me (In now a SAHM with 2 boys). But holy shit am I getting worried, regardless of what my husband thinks, I DO NOT want my boys to learn this stuff. And I’ve told him that I don’t want him talking about this stuff around the boys and he’s obliged. But it feels like our only conversations happen because he starts talking about this stuff. I don’t use any social media, I’m mostly a lurker on Reddit- mostly stuff about aquriums and fish and AITA- so I don’t follow news or any of that because its so bad to our mental wellbeing. I have nothing to dispute him in in terms of facts but there’s no way he’s actually right. Sorry I’m rambling.

Is he becoming red pilled? How do I pull him out of this before it gets really bad?

I want to buy more sterbai Cories for my tank. I bought a school of 6 (I think from Aquahuna) maybe 4 years ago and I have 3 left. I recently bought 9 from my LFS and within in a month all but 1 died. I’m very mad and annoyed by it, and I don’t trust them now.

So I‘ve been floating around the idea of using Dan’s Fish, because their fish are so healthy. I’ve also considered Aquahuna again because I can get more for cheaper and I‘d quarantine either place regardless because I don’t want to go through them all dying again. Should I spend more for healthier fish or risk with Aquahuna?

I got 4 fire honey gouramis at the LFS, all juveniles. They are starting to change color. I’m pretty certain I have at least 1 male and 1 female, the other two are iffy. Can anyone help? Also if I have more males than females, what should I do?

#1 Definitely a male? The most aggressive of the bunch

#2 A female because they are getting that black stripe?

#3 not sute

#4 Truly don’t know

I want to change up my tank. I currently have 11 sterbai Cories and 8 Amanis. I’m going to trade in my dwindling tetra school and I want to get gourami. I want something colorful that will swim in the mid to upper tier. I have a 30 g tank. the LFS has fire honey gourami in stock. I’ve been trolling this sub and I’m pretty sure they are true fire honey gouramis, not thick lipped. How many could I successfully keep in my tank? I was thinking 5-8. Of course they are juveniles and unsexed right now.

I’m sorry if this is not the thread I need, please feel free to delete this post.

I (30F) am a SAHM and recently was diagnosed with ADHD. My husband (30M) and I agree he is probably on the spectrum somewhere. Our 2 boys are 3.5y and 1y.

I would like to know the best way to help him be the best dad he can be. I believe he is experiencing burnout currently, because any free second he gets he tries to zone out and doomscrolling his phone. He says he doesn’t have time for any hobbies or anything, but he says he’s so bored being with the kids and can only handle a couple hours at a time with them, then he starts scrolling and the older one definitely notices it. I think he’s using it as a way to escape, but I feel like I‘m being neglected because he gets breaks here and there and it doesn’t get reciprocated. I’m starting to have some resentment and that’s why. I want to help.

He also can’t handle the crying and whining, and I can tell starts visibly getting upset. I try to get him to leave so he can relax but he refuses because he thinks he should be able to do it. But eventually he gets really worked up and starts getting angry, so I all but kick him out of the room and I hear him slam his fist on the table. Hes very insecure about parenting.

I try to give him breaks throughout the day and take the brunt of the child care, even when he’s home, but it’s feeling very unequal to me and I’m starting to burnout too. we have no family or friends nearby, so I’m completely isolated. I hold the children’s emotions and have to parent those, yet I feel like I have to be in charge of my husbands emotions too and teach him emotion regulation at the same time.

Sorry for the rambling (ADHD amiright). How can I best help him parent the children? I know to give him lots of breaks, but at some point when do I get a break? Is there anything else that can help him too?