I want to be able to go into a diet while I exercise for the summer. I do not know how much I eat in a day, but it is a lot. What are some meals you can recommend that are 500-1000 calories in total? My goal of eating in a day are said calories in meals, I am over 200 and 5'0 female, so my doctors tell me I am obese, so I want to be healthy. Thank you for any tips and advice.
I tried to take my own life last night, I had everything planned out, the river in my home is big enough for me to jump in and let nature take its course, but I got scared and quit. I failed doing it. I have bitten my arms even more that it broke my skin, I am cleaning it up as i speak to avoid my parents waking up and seeing that their stupid pathetic daughter self harm. I am sick and tired of everything, I just want fucking courage to do it. Barely in my journey to perfection and I failed, either I end it now or continue pushing forward. I will keep going to be the boy I dream to be or I'll try again next time. Who knows, who cares?
some people I talk to in real life have told me that they find chubby boys attractive and cute, but then they laugh at boys who are bigger, most having my features. double chin, big arms, big stomach, body rolls, I'm disgusting.
I also hate how much there are people who say "but chubby people are so squishy and cuddly" and I hate touch, I hate how I remember the worst things about my body. my chest, my hips, I wish I was actually born as a skinny boy. it even makes my boobs bigger, I hate it so much, I have tried to cut them off because I hate them so much.
I wish I was actually pretty and a real boy...