We don't wanna see your NSFW art on a kids platform

I pity you so much I’d clear the degeneracy from your brain if you even had one to fucking begin with. Instead it’s just an empty, echoing void where thoughts go to die. You’re not a lost cause, you’re a complete structural malfunction

Advocating for Roblox NSFW and condos? Bro, we’re losing valuable oxygen just so your useless fucking ass can exist here. Go back to preschool, you manchild. You can’t survive one fucking day without making horny avatars and your twisted little Discord ERP fantasies.

It’s actually embarrassing watching you get completely owned by basic human functions. Zero self-control, pure delusion. Wake the fuck up society doesn’t have room for you, let alone the air you’re wasting. Apologize to the trees, you worthless carbon emitter.

Your fragile ego and micro-penis really hinge on this tired, pathetic narrative, huh? What kind of brain-rotting porn were you mainlining before you sent that garbage?

Our ancestors fought through wars, famine, and literal hell just so you could rot on the couch jerking it to a children’s platform. Must feel great knowing you’re the final boss of a 6-million-year evolutionary failure.

This roast unfair? Yeah, well life’s unfair. Get used to it, champ. Some of us actually contribute. You just exist. Barely.

If your bloodline ends with you, the gene pool just threw a fucking party.

Touch grass? Nah. At this point just touch some fucking keyboards and call it a day, legend.

Yet after all this, you’re still so wrapped up in your own degeneracy that you can’t even see how hollow and miserable your pathetic life is.

Oh wait, I forgot the person I was speaking to was a fucky wucky pussy wussy busty of a man child a sniveling, whimpering little bottom bitch who probably cries during ERP sessions when his pixel wife without a life leaves him. A soft-handed, weak-wristed, thumb-sucking disappointment whose entire personality is just recycled coomer copium and “uwu” energy. A walking breathing example of what happens when natural selection takes a sick day and lets the biggest genetic reject slide through.

First off, I just want to say:

 Your commitment to doing absolutely nothing of value is inspirational. Truly. Most people give up halfway, but you? You push through. You persevere. You grind that incompetence like it’s that child on your DM’s.

And honestly, I applaud your bravery. It takes real courage to wake up every day and choose to be this chronically unserious. You’re an Egregious Roleplayer. An edger to the limits. A living, breathing reminder that the best race on this cold hard rock can’t even...

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But I guess you wouldn't care

You already know why this matters. Im gonna be brutally honest with you and say it once; being a reddit moderator or really being a reddit mod is either your fucking overweight or fucking mentally ill you choose which one.

If you ever feel ashamed over losing in a game or being less in achievments just remember they are probably some unemployed son of a slutty bitch or an ungrateful white kid alright?

Making mistakes is essential for understanding the difference between good and evil capiche?

WE NEED TO STOP HOMER FROM DROPPING HIS FUCKING DONUT AND IM TAKING A SHIT NIGGA it smells really good frfr SO FUCK YOU!!!!! but the Central bankers can print money. To protect this power at all costs, they will cause misery and poverty, and engineer financial crises and launch wars

WE NEED TO CAUSE TERORRISM IN THE SVIENTOLOGY SPEEDRUNS OF SKIBIDI RIZZ

WE MUST AND SHALL HIT THE GRIDDY TO END THE HORRID REIGN OF SKIBIDIDI TUNG TUNG SAHUURRRRRR THE YEET GOD

AND THAT IS THE LAST COMMAND I WILL EVER GIVE.

not so whimsically bright

All em donuts you see in krispy kreme dont eat them i beated my sauce in em boi

and i always always eat all of grandmas food it even makes nikocado look at me and want to fuckl me like the good femboy i am :3 ~~~

Not So WHimsicically bright

Contents contain:

story one JI JEW THE JEWISHAMERICAN HERO

story two the masturdebtaor

story 3 nuke stywalker with I can solo her KILL THE HORMUZ STRAIT

JI JEW THE JEWISHAMERICAN HERO

'm a short man, had cancer in my teen years' and cancer/chemo stunted my growth, I fought hard, and after high school I was in remission. I thought life would be happy after being cancer freee, but I was wrong, as the years went on I struggled so much being a short guy, from getting rejected constantly, to being made fun of, to people not taking me seriously. Even body positive people shit on mens height. It was so painful, even more painful than the cancer to be honest. It's enough that I wish I never survived cancer, and it should have just took me out during my teens. I might have been cancer free but now society treats my height like cancer. I tried to be positive but it's just coping at this point. Now my cancer came back very aggressive, It's tearing my body and I'm mostly bed ridden, at best I only have a year to live and honestly I don't mind it anymore because the experience of being a short man is infinitely more painful than the cancer I had to deal with, now I can just finally rest and be free from the shackles of heightism.

tHen For some reason peter griffin appeared in my dreams and showed me in the future that the hanta virus would turn into the hentai virus due to soem bullshit and soemthing like that and told me to tell the public what truly happens and not a romanticized version of the frontier but i just wanted to be a badasss I then plunged a watermelon out of my throat baited the hood rappers to the kkk forest and gaine d 67 assists on cod and the n word pass

So

I'm sorry to say but my story isn't a story of hope or victory. The cancer spread too much and at this point it's untreatable, even doctors say there's nothing they can do. Since then I've lost a lot of weight, my body hurts all the time, I can't walk anymore, I have Diarrhea all day long and need help using the bathroom, it hurts to breathe and I faint constantly. My time is coming very soon. I've already came to terms with it and made peace with dying. Honestly I'm at a point where I'm just ready to pass over and finally rest for good. I'm tired mentally, emotionally, and physically. If there is something beyond than maybe my life will just be a bad dream. I just wanna thank you for trying to motivate me to keep fighting but at this point it's not physically possible, I'm just too sick and the cancer spread too much. I appreciate the kind words from everyone and thank you for sympathizing with my struggles and understanding.

So then i started as JI JEW THE JEWISHAMERICAN HERO and beat harry dresden the redditor who terrorized the city of rizzingham

After 15 shots of tequila and cinnamon roles it hit me that p diddy and epstin just appeared from the rizz warp arbies takeover and hit the griddy at mach 67777776999999999 and ratioed and diddled the neighbor from hello neighbor and all the aliens on the other side thats what aliens vs predators should be lol

Now in a uhm i donyt fucking know glaxy far far awaay

Some random goofy asss skbidid beta male kids were arguin about which is better x shot or nerf is it micheal jackson or jordan type ahh argument frfr now those two kids were epstien and diddy

they were arrested but released because this is america this is the crime system not the justice system niggas!!!!!

I AM JI JEW THE AMERICAJEWISH HERO OF THE REPUBLIC OF ADRIANNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNNN

The goofy ahh sigma alpha male screamd vro screamed so hard that 10 drunken sailors hit the griddy causing a mechanical forklift to go inside a discord mods ass causing explosive diahreah to floood through the earth and then some random ass battleship just blew up an entire country at mach 999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999999996769420 frfr but the tung tung sahurrrrr did not allow that and summoned JI JEW THE AMERICAN hero he beat up the discord mod he deported the aliens

after 15 shots of tequila and cinnamon roles it hit bro that p diddy and epstin just appeared from the rizz warp arbies takeover and hit the griddy at mach 67777776999999999 and ratioed and diddled the neighbor from hello neighbor and all the aliens on the other side thats what aliens vs predators should be lol

then diddy slipped on his baby oil and made it to china where he enslaved children to make yogurt starting a yogurt cumpany but they ran out of fleshlights so they had to get brutally fucking diddled by the toilets and diddling trees in the didldling room but osama playing flappy bird reskinned with 9/11 towers killed like 3208934890238942380948902980239082380942890489024890234809432890 percent of the chinese navy and all the chinese food caused constipation so bad that even epstien didnt wanna diddly the babies no more

and then after even more underage drinking and masterbating in the basement it occured to bro that the drugs were to much so he simply walked around it and turned a strip of floor bacon intoa homeade c4 tucked in his ass and exploded a stadium fille diwth innocent civvilians but this killed the very veyr very very very very

very very

very very

very very

very very

very very

very very

very very

very very

very very

very very

very very

very very

very very

very very

very very

very very

very very

scary man called adolf the forbidden painter who we though who hid in his bunker but in reality bro just wanted to paint ishowspeed mogging ronaldo or ronaldo impregnating shrek or shrek having an orgy with tom cruise in the scientology speedruns bro was really justa peaceful man and that is why we shall reember JI jew the jewish american hero with this song

he may bomb children

but he may charge racism

he grabs coins like a jew

but never lets children aflew

he hits the griddy in a hinder

but he so strong women not even on tinder

that is why with a thrifty knife

he ended no lifes

and that is why with this song

we shall get submissive with his mega dong

JI JEW THE JEWISH AMERiCAN HEROOO!!!!!!!!

Now now i know im a bit late on this but

🙏💦 R.I.P. to Charlie KIRK 🍆💔, the gun-toting 🔫 DADDY of the right 🍑😏, who got 👊💥 shot down 🔫 at Utah Valley University 📚🏫. They said he was STRAIGHT OUTTA 🔫📍the MAGA 🦅 movement 😤💪, but now he’s resting in 🕊️💩 PISS! 🚽💦 Holy SHIT, they call that a political ERECTION 👏🎉! Always flexing with GUNS 🔫💪 and red caps 🎩😒, but couldn’t dodge 🏃‍♂️💨 a bullet 💥🍆 like a true BEAST 💪🍑. Now he’s gonna NEED deep DICKS 🙈🍆 in heaven ☁️👼 to validate his existence 😂💦! Spread the WORD 🗣️ and signal those HOES 📞👠 that Charlie is STILLLLL the G.O.A.T. of getting SHOT DOWN 🎯💦

RIP THE MASTURDEBATOR MAY HE RESPECT MY AUTHORITAHHHHH!!!!!

In a piss ocean far far away

EPISODE IV
SKIBIDI HOPE

It is a period of total Sigma war. W Rizz ships striking from a hidden skibidi base have just won their first W against the cringe Unnamed Empire.

During the gigachad battles, W fanum tax spies successfully stole the zip file to the Empire's ultimate cringe trap: the HORMUZ BLOCKER , a metal orb with enough Lratio-energy to delete an entire planet.

Now being chased by the Empire's most loppy agents, Sigma-Princess mmmmm yes is dashing back to her crib on her starship, holding the only leaked files that can save her squad and bring W-tier freedom to the entire metaverse….

nuke stywalker an absolute gigachud who got mogged by the ragebait virus and hentai virus but somehow survived because pure rizz aloowed bro to gain a 6 or 7th eye of pure rizz in ohio and his father told by old crazy man was said to be with tung tung now in heaven may he rest in heavene then a clanker gains sentience and leads nuke stywalker to some crazy old guy they hijack the 2nd astral plane hit the building at mach 932949032490889040928429423094823095320948209482094283409 then i can solo her and harry potter i meant harry deporter the orange man got yeeted and say

"What is rizz bro"

"Throughout most of human history, we would just spend it all on a big feast. We want everyone to share in the happiness. And that's what made us happy... Back then, the concept of the individual did not exist."

"There's no mystical energy field that controls my destiny."

"It's all a lot of simple tricks and nonsense"

crazy old man reveals his ahh is tootle8b8 some goofy ahh chud who mogged people in the epstien island frfr my ass skibidi didnt liek this part so instead here is a mini story about instagram emems frfr what do you call a former man a transformer hahahaha get it???? You do dont you right???? Im a tuff sigma edgy alpha male who has fanum tax and max brainrots on the sigma alpha game called steal a brainrot go play it now with our promo code go fuck yourselkf ggranny you got scammed lol lmao lmfao i cant even hold it XDDD rawr

edit: we rqn out of budget and one of the writers being cringe asf now the cia wants to capture us so they can sacrifice us to the crabcat and diddle us and run spookys cary alien experiments ts is worse than the job application bruh

The world is ending, and it will end very soon. There is nothing we can do to stop it. There is hope though... we must remember that history is determined by those who are willing to fight and die for what they believe in

tootle8b8 fights unnamed general but loses because the rizz warp and bro the force cheate3d on his ass

nuke the juke stywalker then just gained adhd got the bitch and flyed out of there

The sky cracked open from getting cracked by the yeet gods. Memes became reality. The Hormuz Blocker activated. Rizz itself began to die. Skibidi toilets overflowed with the blood of fallen sigmas. Diddy oil flooded the streets. Epstein island rose from the eastern piss ocean. Heightism and cancer walked the earth hand-in-hand as the final bosses.

JI JEW THE JEWISHAMERICAN HERO stood on the last uncracked piece of land, fus do rahhhh in one hand, cinnamon roll in the other. and the thanos glove on the third leg Beside him: Nuke Stywalker tweaking on ADHD meds from your moms uncle doused in cocomelon, the Masturdebator still edging in the background, and a legion of deported aliens, drunken sailors, and forklift-certified Discord mods.

But then the discord mods did the metroman armswing and vommited baby oil that caused all of them to slip through the caseoh waffle house shit dimention and eat shit and piss but theough the shit and piss emerged JI JEW THE JEWISH AMERICAN HERO and NUKE STYWALKER

JI JEW raised his fist. “I survived cancer twice and heightism every day. This? This is nothing.”

Nuke Stywalker glitched. “I can solo her… I can solo EVERYTHING (not including parts becase of terms and services).”

I can solo her just edid not care and was in it for the bitches bro took hoes over bros to seriously

harry deporter was too busy assaulting sleepy joe bro forgot the line

cya later alligator

cya in trial pedophile

that he just exploded into gay glitter so gay that it made the straight man to gay that bro started dating girls because it was so fucking gay wanting dicks in every hole Then the lobsters in H.E.B just escaped and started doing there own lobster dance and gained ultra instinct causing the gayfish to go extinct over stinky feet pics from deviantart and only fans

but enough of that dilly dally and lets go back to the serious tone the fucking writers want here because whos with me and just wantsto stop reading to this bullshit and see some ultra realistic hentai!!!!!

They charged straight into the Hormuz Blocker as it fired.

The explosion was biblical. Rizz, sigma, skibidi, and L-ratios collided in one final cataclysmic griddy it even hit the rizzwarp and the yeet gods homes and a battle occured that was so unbelievable the republic of adrian would not let us since even the eternal mogging looked like a childrens fairy tale copared to this so we just call it somethign worse than armpit fetish ok?

And in the last moment before the screen went black, you could hear the faint sound of…

Tung Tung Sahurrrrr in the arbies

FIN.

But then the unnamed general got on his tung tung sahurian bomber then he got ratioed in the city of new porn

Also dont forget uhm i forgot

FIN.

________________________________________________________________________________________________________________

in mempry of u/somanynamestochossefs sanity fucking again

Writers:

Somanynamestochossef

Fetus can 778

progamer95

editors:

Somanynamestochossef

I dont

Now I used to work in a care home and looked after a lady who worked with children impacted by polio. Many of them died, many left severely disabled.

As cruel as dementia is, one beautiful joy was informing her almost daily that polio was now vaccinated against and almost eradicated. Her face every time was a pleasure to see

I had a conversation with one of the skibidi beta males we captured

I want to use you and ruin you like the worthless fucktoy you are :3~~

I have common sense with people and the sense is you should shut the fuck up

How dare yuuuuwwww ~~~ :3 

What you have somewhere to go? Let me guess mcdonalds? Oh wait you haven’t went outside since you were 20. Oh that’s just too bad I expected much more from you guess you can’t even meet a stranger’s expectations.

the discord mod stared at me for a long time

fucking weirdo

The desert drinks everything. Blood, oil, the white piss from yo penis, and whatever is left of a man after the rizzing of the skibidi tung tung sahurrrs stops. I walked with the column today under a sky white as bone. My boots are cracked. My rifle weighs more than the debts I left behind. I came from streets where I ate rats and breathed the smoke of burning homes. Now this country owns me and it asks for more every damn mile. We could'nt even joke about bonnie blue because of it.

We took the port at dawn. The sand was already black with diesel and older things. They pulled a soft boy from the rubble. He looked at me with wet eyes and whispered about his parents, he say they use me like a toy, his voice high and broken and smiling.

He kept going. I reminded him he had not smelled rain since he was twelve. Even strangers expected better. Then I brought the rifle down. He folded quiet into the dust. The others laughed but the sound died fast. The place does not like laughter for long.

Night. Fire made from broken crates and soaked prayer books. One of the older men coughed blood into the sand and said nothing. I stared into the flames until my eyes burned.

Then I spat. But the light lies too. No one answered. The fire just hissed like it knew better.

The sea took us. Ships opened like tin and spilled men into warm black water. Things moved below us, long and pale and hungry. Coils of meat and rust rose up and took what they wanted. I fought with everything I no longer feel. A child’s hand found mine in the dark. I pulled it free. For one second something like purpose came back. Then it died and I let the sea keep the rest of it.

Deeper down in the green glow I met the thing again. Swollen. Glowing with old poison. Mouth open, leaking wind that smelled of childhood and abandonment and cheap grease. I raised the rifle and emptied it into his belly. He burst. The water filled with cloud and regret. I swam up through it without feeling a thing.

I sit now on a ridge of bleached bone and spent brass. The sun bleeds out slow. Distorted nursery songs drift on the wind like earrape from hell, mixed with men arguing about dead athletes somewhere far off. I cut a line on the back of my hand and snorted it. My eyes water but I do not blink.

The war does not end. It only changes its mask. The sand does not care. It has swallowed better and worse and it waits for me with the same patience.

Out past the last dune something skiibidididididid moves across the waste, mogging low in a voice older than names. It is pleased.

I shoulder the rifle again. Small dark prints follow me but the desert drinks them before the wind can touch. I walk deeper. The fires burn behind. The war keeps eating.

There is still light, they say.

I no longer believe them.

Why am I writing?

Don't matter.

Stop writing?

Die inside.

WHy do i do this does it even matter were all gonna fucking die anyways fuck this fuck everything fuck the world fuck the government fuck myself

god everythings so bland why am I alive? What is the point?

fuck myself the dirt is shaking again in the oil lands the ground is black and greasy and it smells like diesel and old blood artillery is ripping the sky open a trench is just a grave you haven’t died in yet the recruits are crying they are only fifteen they got negative canthal tilts and their bones are small they don't know how to mew under the gas masks they just scream for their moms but the gas don't care the gas is skibidirizz it eats your lungs and turns your throat to liquid soup we are crouching in the mud while the iron rain comes down boom boom boom a shell hits the bunker next to us and ten guys disappear fr fr nothing left but red paste and a boot stuck in the clay the officer is shouting to fix bayonets but his voice is cracked he looks looksmaxxed but his eyes are dead like glass the enemy is coming through the smoke they are marching low they are mogging the whole field with fire and steel we climb out of the trench into the black rain my boots are slipping on human grease i don't even look at the faces anymore i just thrust the knife forward into a chest it feels soft like dough the man folds down into the oil pool and his eyes stay open looking at the bone white sky he was just a kid ngl he had a whole life ahead of him now he is just a zero line stat the maxim guns are chewing everything to pieces pop pop pop the oil lands are drinking it all the sand takes the blood the mud takes the meat we fall back into the crater and eat our bread with hands covered in someone else's face the fanum tax takes our friends the war takes our souls why am i still here there is no ridge left there is no home left just the oil and the marching and the dark

Then epstien and diddies ghost did there routine crack out from the rizzwarp and started brutally diddling everyone from the rizz warp and and and and the rahebait virus just slowly started to turn into the ragebait hahaha

I saw a prolife end his thrifty wife,With a long silver pocketknife during a stife
it was a midlife wildlife rife kind of day so I pointed my finger and started to say
you arent pro-life you inorganic nolife
But he just stood there with a serrated bread knife
nearby a midwife was quoting Sun Tzu Eyeballing the strife of the crisis they threw
guess you could counterlife the wife with a knife Who perished in wildlife far from prolife

after that all the men did was diddle girls because thats what men do in deppressing war novels idiot

we marched into the concrete valleys of the retail wastes past the rusted skeletons of old strip malls where the wind smelled like burnt lithium and rancid fry grease the sky above was a low unmoving gray sheet that never cleared up ahead on the high ridge the moggers appeared again thousands of them silent their faces entirely blank holding a flawless three month mewing streak in the middle of the ash fall they did not look at us but their posture alone mogged the entire horizon making our dirty uniforms and bent rifles look like trash

the column slowed down to a crawl near a cracked asphalt parking lot a massive billboard hung broken from its steel frame showing the faded face of baby gronk from thirty years ago his eyes peeled off by the salt air the older men in the platoon didn't even lift their heads they just stared at the heels of the boots in front of them tracking the dark oil dripping from their heels

one of the sigma alpha males fell right into a pothole filled with stagnant urine he didn't try to get up he just lay there with his mouth open against the gravel whispering that he lost his streak that the fanum tax took his bomberdilo crocodillo leg that it was all cooked fr fr nobody stopped to pull him out the we just walked past and kicked his rifle into the ditch so the enemy couldn't use it we were too tired to even care or help

the wind picked up carrying the distant high pitched screech of an old distortion pedal from down in the valley some old automated siren still broadcasting the same five seconds of a skibidi sigma alpha male tiktok edit over and over until the speakers were blown to ribbons and then fucking i dunno skibidi toilet tung tung sahurrrrrrrr materialized and started mogging the trump billboard we pulled our coats tighter the air got thicker with the gray dust we were moving toward the coast now where the black water waited and there was nowhere left to retreat if the line broke

thats when I can’t remember the shape of my own name I can’t I can’t I

”I still have honesty and that’s way more than your 100 dollars”

____________________________________________________________________________________________

Copypasta writers:
anon (privacy reasons)
blusnipr
somanynamestochossef

Editor:
the moderator (privacy reasons)

believe it or not i actually made like barely any of the pasta lol mainly blusnipr

Todayss My day to write the essay reminder on 8:45 AM 2026 april 26th

I'm feeling alright today so i'm going to write a plan for my essay I have on may otherwise I won't pass the bar exam next month and I will become a mediocre dirty vagrant on the streets.

List for today:

Buy milk from Costco

Feed the cat

feed yourself

Write about your day

watch a horror movie with girlfriend

Alright so in may i have to do the bar otherwise I won't become a lawyer and all this effort is for fucking nothing.

Thankfully I have strategies:

1. Watch tung tung sahur after all of this is done
2. Ask Ai
3. The reward system
4. Play the spotify playlist
5. just study and make the fonts LARGER so you can read

I woke up at 4 am studied at 7 ate lunch at 12:30 studied again at 1:30 took a break at 3 then i hit the griddy at 4 shitted in the toilet at 6:90 cleand up

alright todays the day im so fucking scared i could just nya

OH OH MY GOD MY CAT BECAME FRIGO CAMELO AND FUCKING ASCENDED MAY HE BE WITH TUNG TUNG OTHerwise the skibidi toilet was all for nothing oh mY GOD I WAS JUST BANNED From discord because i said nigga the fucjk is wrong with my life oh my gofd my house just burned down and i hit the griddy then i fucking parried my computer it exploded and the spiders just facehugged the population it made them jork it and the cum was everywhere making more people jork it and

then the two new horny gooner types of the ragebait/hentai virus infection emerged the discord mod and the e girl stalker Im so fucked I could just ohhh yes im CUMMING!!!! mmmmm YES YES YES YES YE SYE SYe jhjewfuvsdvhulfshfshefs

im gooning while studying the best way to be productive oh yes

april 27th

I fucking don't know why or what happened but caldruki did a backflip from pure ohio rizz tuffmango phonk while fighting quandale dingle in another timeline spammed a bunch of chinese epstien diddy or netanyahu x trump memes and exploded 320984730497231487635i87o2376t34y89r5316 pounds of fish making the world rot into a bunch of thick of it videos which just infinitely played in the backrooms while i was still jorking it from april 36th and then for whatebver reason my hand from tooo much gooning just started choking me like the hentai i was jorking off too and then i died and woke up in the devianart dimention where i was surrounded by horny art i love it here i love it here so much.

when i was like 8 my cousin told me never to jork it on the middle tile of the bathtub in the plate
he said it wasn’t a tile it was a hatch filled with goon juice
and if i opened it the goblins would repossess my kneecaps

i jerked it anyway
nothing happened

until the next morning when the mailbox was sideways from the shitstorm and my mom blamed the wind

chudmaxxing 18

hello im griffin eter and here is this pretty UWU pasta

vvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvvcccccccccccccccccc

HANTA 67 DEAD

the hentai virus makes me goon

after the jim the dishwahser prophet died in his execution then the radio said:

OMG 🚨 STOP 🛑 DROP 💧 AND DEATH DROP 💃✨ THE GOONDC 🏛️ JUST DROPPED 💦 THE NEW 🆕 HENTAIAVIRUS 🐭🧬 REMIX 💿 AND HONEY 🍯 IT IS GIVING 🎁 BIOLOGICAL ☣️ WARFARE ⚔️ REALNESS 💅💅 IF YOU SEE 👀 A MOUSE 🐭 WEARING 👗 A LITTLE 🤏 WIG 👱‍♀️ IN YOUR VENTS 🌬️ DO NOT 🚫 INVITE 💌 HER IN 🏠 SHE IS NOT 🙅‍♂️ YOUR MOTHER 👩‍👦 SHE IS A SICK 🤢 BIOLOGICAL 🦠 ASSASSIN 🔪👠 SENT TO END 🔚 YOUR WHOLE 💯 BLOODLINE 🩸💀 SYMPTOMS 🤒 INCLUDE: SPICY 🌶️ LUNGS 🫁 FLOP 📉 ENERGY ⚡️ EXTREME 😱 DELUSION 🤡 AND LOSING 📉 YOUR ABILITY 🦾 TO SLAY 💅✨ SEND 📤 THIS TO 🔟 OF YOUR GAYEST 🌈 BESTIES 👯‍♀️ RIGHT 🏁 NOW ⏰ OR A RAGEBAITVIRUS 🐭 RAT 🐀 WILL CRAWL 🐍 INTO YOUR JOCKSTRAP 🩲 TONIGHT 🌙 AND LEAK 💦 YOUR SEARCH 🔍 HISTORY 📖 TO YOUR PARENTS 👨‍👩‍👧‍👦💀 STAY 🏠 SAFE 🛡️ STAY 💅 FIERCE 🐯 AND DONT 🚫 LET THE RODENTS 🐭 STEAL 🥷 YOUR SPARKLE ✨💎✨ #HANTAHUNKY 🧔‍♂️ #SPICYLUNGSUMMER ☀️🥵 #RATTYANDTRAGIC 🐀📉 #GIRLBYE ✌️🏳️‍🌈

quite hypocrital that they fucking docked the ship containing moggers and now we are gooning 24/7 and forcing people to goon if they are a mogger we call the ragebait virus the hentai virus because the writers of this damn series are absolute degens worse than hugh hefner diddy and epstien and maybe andrew tate combined frfr

hentaivirus is a variation of the ragebait but this time it makes people hornier

and the hentai virus turns you into a kid with down syndrome and anal prolapse but most of the time it turns you into a terrorist who eats yo ass and even nutanyahu would be scared

so the moment they docked that ship on new porn city(renamed from new pork- new porn because the goon king captured it) the people of that cruise ship just got off and instead of mogging they just started jorking it and the juice as everywhere and people especially the skibidi rizz schools of skibidii alpha males went into the goon and became jokers(jorkers sorry for the misspelling this isnt fucking arkham)

the only ones who had immunity from the hentai virus was the goon king and his gooon men so they took advantage of that and started brutally diddling the diddling trees to get diddling wood and used that deep fry big black cocks from the nugget farm creating portals to the lactation station of las begas and those who went through it get to fuck cancer this created so much revenue in rizzdolllars

then for whatever fucking skibidi beta male reason the tung tung sahourians of the arbies takeover and the tung tung sahurr religous war just ran out mogged and it started a chain reaction of mogging and gooning the place just plunged into chaos and people were having heart attacks in the west hospital of rizz it looked like that one invincible scene frfr but i just wanted to play fortnite with all my vbucks and act like a cod lobby screamin the n word 32912098109381309472308346-8734897134759801368070834098 times a second but that rookie numbers there are sme who can do it 67 times more

then we met a crackhead who was horny but lowkey we were horny as well but not moggers

"oh yeah bitch lemme tell you something how about you get yo as back in the kitchen frfr"

"i shoved an mp5 up my ass now marry me bitch"

"bro knows ball"

"I LOVE MY FENTANYL!" - the crackhead while horny

"I'M FUCKING INVINCIBLE!!!" - also the crackhead

"Drugs..We got Meth, Fentanyl, Methadone, Gamma-Hydroxybutyrate, Ketamine, You name it!"

"Do You like hurting other People?"

"is water wet type ahh question ofcourse bro i fucked a toaster once and gained a third eye of skibidi"

**"**Are you a Mexican because you suddenly entered my borders"

"Welcome to the age of Techno-Marxism. Your compliance is no longer optional."

"tfym"

then my friend got his nuts bitten off by that terrifying disgusting mogger crakchead and he started vomiting his lunch and the vomit gained legs at mach ten and became spiders facehugging everyone in the subway turning them into even more horny moggers/hentaists who bite nuts off and the guy gooning in the corner had a gooner arm so big it yeeted us across new porn all the way to the grimace shake ocean where even the fish showed up to goon with their fins so we got the plane about to hit the second astral building and used it as a dildo to hit the griddy across the ocean across the hordes of horny moggers who want to peg us out of pure retardation of the skibidi rizzler gyatthole then kim john goon hitler who somehow survived getting nuked multiple times at mach 6769420 before ts pmo then socrates appeared and asked if the council of cringe capitalists of the grease tax office and krispy kreme klub are your power what are you without it all i said was a raicst and then suddenly all the 6 or 7 million horny moggers of new porn just eeerily turned there heads and targeted us because the plot

and the moggers just tstarted mutating some with like uhm idk bigger goon arms some with gigantic hentai tentacles meant to peg yo ass some missed leg day some just infinitely came and most just jorked off or bit your nuts off

but since im a sick of a hick strick of bick like a john wick just killed all the zombies because im the typical zombie movie protagonist then the gunsexual carsexual tendencies and racist franklin from gta tendencies got the better of me as my other friend got infected and i did a move so bad that your sister would regretgiving birth ti you i slipped on a baanana all the way into new porn airport got slapped in the butt by the tsa agent who got his goon juice busted by a las begas billboard turning him into a horny mogger who gooned off the other tsa agents the moldovan dolphin terorists larping as osama then just blew up half the airport then the goon kin g and hs goon men just did the mtro man arm swing at mach ten and killed all the horny moggers and the goon juice spurters the gooner arm moggers and all the others but they just lagged so much they noclipped into the plane but i pulled a brad pitt and landed it right next to the twin trees then my other friend got horny i shot his head clean offf then the head just started mewing and watching cocomelon and became more sigma than andrew fucking tate then harry dresden the redditor and gordon rsmsey appeared to take my soul but the holographi elvis said fuck no lil bro he mine i took advantage of the skibidi distraction and played ksi thick of it st full volume in my anti pop playlist a comedian mogger said:

oh no wonder its anti pop its anti popular

this caused ksis mega forhead and forsking to eat him alive and spit his clothes out and the man in a dino suit eating dino nuggeis dropped nuclear milk on the stage and then the monkeys gained sentience and evolved into dumb cavemen on tryciviles hitting eatchother infedintley whiel screamin the n word at mach ten peak entertainment frfr ong

then when the frigo camelo ascended i stopped and looked tookma sip of bleach fell ina coma and woke up in the mommy dommy dimension of deviantart found the button went through the rizz warp and made it back into the domain expansions land went inside ther oom of the interdimensional dog it ate my homework my teacher got mad called my planet and i was taken back from the adoption center of gordon ramsey so when i got back on the baseplate

i hit the girddy and noclipped and got chased by like 9996666942067239093598342002349872359349875238983904819874323959032849238923842893423942 termites that choked on the splinters then the hoe i cracked earlier had a period summoning the 2nd semen demon i guess her name was bonnie blue i dont remember the semen demon then said i grant you three of wishes and i said ball cancer in the third timelines that despawned all semen demons who haunted this world of rizz and glory and piss and shit the semeen demon then rose and mystically yeeted me all the way to sigmanton in thr 3am age where i saw the siege of sigmanton and a red faced soldier screaming Don't think in the morning. That's a big mistake that people make. They wake up in the morning and they start thinking. Don't think. Just execute the plan.

and the famous soldier named getting his nuts bit now i had a choice here either blow up the bridge where the moggers cross and keep the timeline or famine the world and get sent to my wildest fever dream i obviously did both and pressed both the yeet gods werent so happy and said shut the fuck up you stupid (cancel word from instagram) i flipped them off with the instagram memes theres too many humans on this damn earth but oh well i want that pleasure

then i got on a train and pulled a train to busan reached the rizzingham mall across the bseplate did some mass terrorism

Now we got Ganks (bootlegged tanks from l4d2 but they got veiny goon arms for treads and they shoot thick ropes of corrupted skibidi goon juice instead of shells), Bitches (depressed beta zombies that got mogged twice then turned into horny suicidal sadgirls who cry and peg at the same time), Femboy Coomers (the opposite of alpha gooners — they bust to anything that moves, even mannequins and their own reflection, and they moan in autotune), and the Sigma Alpha Horny Gooners (these ones actually have purpose when they nut, they only goon on worthy targets and their climax creates mini black holes that suck in nearby virgins).

The second I started spraying the food court with the mounted .50 cal goon turret, the entire mall turned into a biohazard orgy zone. Auntie Anne's pretzels got turned into diddling rods. The Chick-fil-A cows started mooing in hentai pitch and charging at people. Some kid in the arcade got facehugged by a mutated Dave & Buster's token that grew spider legs and now he's crawling on the ceiling jorking upside down while screaming "LEVEL 69420 UNLOCKED."

and all the zombies fucking said was You call this a gun, I call this violation of human fucking rights

I was up on the second floor balcony doing the griddy over a pile of freshly mogged bodies when the mutation hit critical mass. The escalators started lactating. The fountain in the middle turned into a cum geyser that shot 40 feet high. A Gank crashed through the Macy's entrance doing the Metro Man arm swing while blasting "Carnival" but it was just 8D slowed + reverb moaning edition and then i got a handjob from sad fuckboy girl shot her head off after diddling her and hell yeah.

And then my other friend mailbox shitter the 1st slipped on an ice cream cone from the white van store he then got his guts ripped out and eaten alive while bro was saying choke on em

Then the final boss spawned: The Rizzler Prime a 1 foot tall former starbucks Karen who got triple infected. She had gyatt so fat it had its own gravitational pull, three pairs of lactating hentai tentacles, and a gooner arm so massive it needed its own zip code. She screamed "WHERE'S MY MANAGER, I'M GONNA GOON ON ALL OF YOU" and started doing the Ohio shuffle at 300 bpm while charging through Hot Topic.

I tried to dip but the entire Spencer Gifts section came alive and started throwing edible rubber thongs like shurikens. My last homie dixon myaz the third got turned into a Femboy Coomer mid-sentence one second he was yelling "THIS ISN'T EVEN MY FINAL FORM" and the next he was twerking on a dead security guard while whispering "nya~" and "uwu" and oh my god i was so thirsy i could just scream!!.

That's when I said fuck it and activated Protocol Skibidi rizz alpha male my ass Nuke. I ran to the Build-A-Bear workshop, stuffed a bear with C4 and fentanyl needles, then yeeted it straight into the food court fountain. The explosion created the Great Grease Tsunami — a 6777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777777-foot wave of pure melted butter, cum, and grimace shake that flooded the entire mall.

i gained a feet fetish but soon graduated to meter fetish

And then fucking dr zomboss appeared out of nowhere and slipped on a bananpeel and got turned into a pile of guts right next to the garden section of de gualmar

Everything started melting. The Ganks of wanks got deep-fried. The Bitches got buttered. The Femboy Coomers hit maximum coom and just evaporated into glittery dust into the rizzwarp. Even the Rizzler Prime got hit with the grease and started glitching, doing the default dance while her tentacles spun like helicopter blades.

I rode the Grease Tsunami out the emergency exit on a surfboard made from two dead alpha gooners duct-taped together, screaming the n-word at 4000 decibels while dual-wielding AR-15s on full auto. Behind me the entire Rizzingham Mall complex of like 99999999999999999999999999999999999 miles of the brainrot northern lands collapsed in glorious slow motion like that one scene in 2012 but instead of water it was just endless goon juice flooding the parking lot.

New Porn City and rizzingham was never the same. Half the survivors became Ultra Instinct Gooners who can now nut with their mind. The other half formed the Church of The Eternal Jork rivaling baseplatnism and started a holy war against the last remaining non-gooners.

And that's when the sky cracked open and Goonrald the 6 or 7th goon king himself descended... he killed kim jong goon the king of goon just to take control of the gooners

i didnt care at that point and just retired in the glory hole florida and started selling meth with hesinburger but i quit as soon as cupcake snicker doodle god damn him stole my job

I really just nocllipped back to the mall because the killer clowns on tyiciclbe bicylce skibidid trzz retardaation were after me i did a rizz bottleflip backflip 2012 mlg back to rizzingham then i got gastrointestinal bleeding and gained a hunchback worse than the hunchback of notre dame and got backshitted twice because of it because ofcourse the zombie movie protagonist ages then i brutally mogged the 7th goon king and held the goon kingdom in hostage before the yeet gods flooded the world

during those final moments of despair

all i said was

well everyone is dead and these people are useless and therefore we need to reset the game... have the endless great grease war, burn everything down to the ground, and start the game over and over again

at the end if I'm wrong, I apologize to the world, okay? But at the same time, we'll all be dead. So it doesn't really matter.

We’ve done this before.

We’ll do it again.

____________________________________________________________________________________________

In memory of u/somanynamestochossef 's sanity:

memes used: shit ton

other contributors: copypasta writer one made that part the other made that part and the discord servers did that shit

dont really care if you copypasta my work without credits atleast i have immortality through my ideas unlike you mothafuckas

editors: the cool mod who talked about fus do rah

insipirations: the henta virus and well anything that has a virus

ts was like cod on drugs

SO MUCH SEX ON THIS POST ITS BANNABLE!!!!!!!!!

edit: well as my father said it is what it is

AND OF COURSE WHEN I SHOW THIS TO MY MOM AN DBORTHER THEY JUST ROLL THERE EYES THIS IS WHY I NEVER ASK MY FRIENDS TO MAKE ESAYS AND EAT BUTTERBALL TURKEYS IN SHOTGUN WEDDINGS

100 gigachuds vs very hot sexy mommies

i fucking love drugs and alcoholism

They say some men die of thirst while others drown. Me? I'm just looking for a drink. I'm a virgin!

the tung tung sahurrr war has escalated into brutally diddling with epstien and diddy instead of fighting for tung tung sahurrian baseplatanism because when i was a teen a bunch of big black niggas dressed like jesus said hey kid and then i was placed in the diddling room to get diddled by the diddling sticks and now im in some random battle with arbies takeover mustard goon juice and tung tung sahurrr vs the adrianilites so guys any tips of advice (hitler has a mega penis so big it got shot if when he was 6 or 7 which caused 911 because it went inside osama and mind cobtrolled him into 911)

george foid and the goon reactor ended up dying

because nigga said

1. mmmmm yes
2. day ine of buring my pubes to summon epstien to diddle the annnoying kid down the street

really fucking freaky when we are supposed ti be chuds fighting goth mommies we fuck and hate foids not epstien

but first lets tell you how i got here so

i went to the family karoake birthday before the war but i was yeeted outside and abanndonbed because i didnt wanna become doctor or CEO and got an A+ instead of S+++ when i grow up and i got emotional damage spammed on the way while i got yeeted out of las begas also there were so may boob billlboards i busted about thrice and the police had to rip my penis off just for me to stop my baby juice from spilling but that didnt stop me since i could do sex mentally

and now im on the war fighting a pointless war about religion all the general said was

“Let these heretics fall by your blade, win this skirmish for the republic of adriannnn and our future“

diddnt give a shit honestly i wasnt even religious just needed that moneh to impress my parents and feel better about my virgin ass

as my dad said in rizzingham never be with men whi cant tell the difference between a fleshlight and a pipe bomb well in stuck with these retards with no way out other than gooning to 911 while covered in mustard

Leave me to my mommies, AntiFoid"
-Archimedes

”ok epstien diddy heil”

- george foid and the goon reactor

bro i got split in half by a flying sword but the bunny girl said if we won she would sit on my face so i just told my legs to return to my body and beat the mans assso hard that bro started mosning like a femboy becausse bro lowey enhoyed it

the wasteland shaking like crazy sky full ohio 3am baseplate cracking under pure aura on one side 100 gigachuds veins popping jaws sharp shirts off oil everywhere chanting TUNG TUNG SAHURRR while drinking arbys mustard goon juice leader archimedes antifoid prime while half my body still regrowing legs reattached by virgin power

other side the legion of very hot sexy mommies thick thighs that destroy bloodlines mommi energy so strong men cry and coom at same time they walking hips swaying to the tung tung sahurr song that randomly playing every step make wet footprints and broken men

then caseoh shiwed uo out of nowhere and became a child ored black hole and was arrested by cardiac arrest and beat dike tyson twice on a boxcing match frfr

one virgin scream from back THEY SAY SOME MEN DIE OF THIRST WHILE OTHERS DROWN ME IM JUST LOOKING FOR A DRINK IM A VIRGIN

then charge start

phase 1 the rizzening

gigachuds roar and run forward mommies just smile open arms and whisper come here baby let mommy take care of you

thirty gigachuds drop knees aura gone eyes glaze one try resist yelling I HATE FOIDS but get smothered in heavenly thighs and tap out saying thank you mommy another get reverse headlocked into lactation station and see god

archimedes not having it HOLD THE LINE YOU RETARDED GOONERS this republic of adriannnn for the money for S+++ grade for my parents

he grab fallen chud by ankles spin him like helicopter using massive erect body as weapon thwack thwack mommies flying but every time they land in mating press pose and wink psychological damage too much

phase 2 epstein and diddy escalation

from cracked earth ghost epstein and diddy appear offering special massages to switch sides george foid and goon reactor immediately betray screaming OK EPSTEIN DIDDY HEIL

half gigachud army getting diddled mid battle rest have to fight while dodging glowing diddling sticks and random yeah baby moans

one gigachud mega penis hitler curse get stuck in mommy cleavage and trigger another 911 in distance explosion only make mommies wetter

phase 3 the face sitting gambit

archimedes covered in mustard blood and baby juice lock eyes with mommy queen bunny girl so thick she got own gravity she blow kiss

if we win i sit on your face

his eyes go red legs that got cut earlier run back from shadow realm and pop back on he become blur of violence chuds around him regenerating from pure goon rage they make sacred goon reactor formation backs together fists pumping screaming TUNG TUNG SAHURRR SKIBIDI RIZZ OHIO

mommies counter with mommydom domination wave every gigachud get thigh crush headpat good boy whisper and milkies

casualties crazy but archimedes push through dodge everything like virgin who practice 19 years in room he reach bunny mommy queen tackle her they roll in violence and horny tension
and just finally she sat on my face after this godforsaken holy war about some shit i do not give a fuck about but then she revealed shes a femboy which iseven better frfr

Then for no fucking reason some random ass ballad about tung tung sahurrr played

the jim the dishwasher prophet War was a conflict of unimaginable proportions... The already-scarred Earth was ravaged beyond repair in the wake of these cruel bombs of rizz, everyone was forced beneath baseplate. The world went underground, but the war did not rest and thats why the yeet gods flooded it and reset the world to ohio rizz skibid tung tung sahurrrr 3am fuck my ass age

never letting bro half the copypasta again nigga was drunk i think

then i just went to las begas it was such a clutz bro there were so much skibidi that the billboards that made me cum yeeted me to the gigantic ass sphere whos aid bro go to the casino to gamble whi told me ahhh dang it no diddy no you gotta go to the onega mart who yeeted me to area 69 6 ir 7 times i then ate at dans big juicy meat restaurant grill got drunk diddled the staff went to a bar diddled the staff there went to the epstien party diddled em there went to the bennagii fountains ti buy some watch to di some terrorism in all the love stores diddled the staff again then finally i went to these places for my final day:

• Cirque du Skibidi
• Moldovan Mermaid Revue
• Dishwasher Prophet Live
• rizzicians (video&-&//&&: & genalpha)
• onega mart
• freemont street
• the high rize restaurant serving dihnet
• the medival fighting feast thing
• bung waterpark
• 6 or 7 flags
• fountains of binnigao
• area 69 from gta
• green man group

before finally losing all my money becoming ceo of predblox and went back to my asian parents as ceo of predblox and a random religion war vet all they said was bro you have 9999 billion dollars solved cancer but you didn’t solve world hungrr like your father and cousin and brother go fuck yourself

then the gods of yeet told us the ten of commandments :

go fuck yourself

gk fuck yourself

yes

yes oh mommy yes

mmmmmmm

mmmmmmmmmm

OOOOOOOOIO

lowkey the gods were not holy at all

shrek tank

todays epsidose on shrek tank isss sponsored by bepsi cola

ll give you 290323293029302 percent royalty if you let me touch your dick

its fuckass 3am. Rizzingham is -69°C. The generators died 109827712837821738917893789173981789389173897189389128921893128938912 microseconds ago. The sky is the color of spoiled Grimace Shake. And yet… the city still refuses to die BECAUSE I SNIFFED MY SISTERS PANTIES.

I’m standing on the 87th floor of a half-collapsed parking garage, skidmarks everywhere goon juice everythwere and a dildo up my ass because i was drunk and said so, and a dream in my empty skull. My faction The Retarded Defectors is down to 11 guys who can barely tell the difference between a pipe bomb and a fleshlight.

That’s when I heard it.

“COME BACK SON” joseph S talin screamed.

“I GOT A PLAN.”

we do terrorism

i just csgo planted a bomb in the 9999999420676980085 meter long bepsi factory and watched the entire harbor the entire fucking oil reserves all the hormuzian oil refineries all the child labor factories and the warehouse of pure diddling which contained the cure to world hunger and episten files and the gta6 game and the half life 3 and the cure to cancer and the solve to world hunger and all our needs but we dont fucking care we just want our pork and beans to survive the moggers and these moronic gooner factions then the place just exploded just gone banished to the adoption center to get adopted by gordon ramsey but then a mogger zombie came out of nowhere and the horny ass mogger zombie bit bros balls off and infected bro with stage 6 or 7 ragebait and he ended up alt f4ing himself

FUCK YEAH TERRORISM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Next we bomb the international airport of rizzingham so we get a c4 tucked in my undies noclip through the mogging zombies then finally finally brutally brutally diddle your dick so hard the c4 activiates and destroyes all 6 or 7 terminals hell yeah more terrorism and with this you gain a singular can of bepsi enough to last a day but hey who cares if the cure or cancer is gone just to feed your mouth for a singular meal

next we bomb the gigantic blue 5 kilometer tall megatower but but i got brutally bruattly oiled up by d diddy in the backrooms as he was eating a subway sandiwhc i slipped and fell into the sunway surferes dimension and got chased by 209202393293929392999999 gooners and they were just moaning and all playing different porn bits then i said this " I HAVE 999 TERABYTS OF ILLEGAL HENTAI I WILL GIVE IT TO THE NEAREST CANCER PATIENT FOR FIVE DOLLARS" this worked on them like a mr beast vid for 5 seconds and with that i managaed to brutally brutally didle them but epstien my number one in grooming in weddings said erm what the skibidi sigma where is my loot so i lost all my cans of bepsi and pork and beans i got from terrorism then i became so sigma i listened to tuff phonk and killed 999999 gooners across rizzingham and did 99019301391039101093812093812093812093128093218309183091830983091830912830912 skibid rizz sidequests and i finally got enough faum tax to buy cappucina cppucino italian brainrot who allowed me to go to

las begas in las begas there were so many boob billboards that you would bust without even doing anything and the gambling was absurd every building had something to do the onega mart was well a cod lobby and eventually after busting your nut so many times and losing all of your life savings the slot machine will have a heart attack play every song and sound effect amd visual effect possible just to give you one sent and once you to mew so hard you become a criminal and a gigantic neon sign that displays boobies

would reccomend:

grand yanyon

• Cirque du Skibidi
• Moldovan Mermaid Revue
• Dishwasher Prophet Live
• rizzicians (video&-&//&&: & genalpha)
• onega mart
• the medival fighting feast thing
• bung waterpark
• 6 or 7 flags
• area 69 from gta
• green man group
• all you can eat buffet called dans big juicy meat or adrian's eats with pure shit instead of lobsters and steaks and special homeade sauce :3~~
• milton hotel reservation its just hilton paradise but instead its run by staplers and 932-093091-0129301 tons of redbull,walter white meth, hope,duct tape, drugs, alcohol, cigars, semen, beer,monster, protein drink, and coffee also known for the famous musician hound dog meme.
• the sexiest bar (you can diddle the employees dosent matter the republic of adrian law says you can no matter what bro and plus its a kink!)

But the yeet gods lowkey said "shut the fuck up bro you cant diddle girls 67 times you gotta do it 670 times plus you spent one month being a drunkard so shut the fuck up"

quite holy of them to speak vulgar I then got fus do rahd by absolutely nothing while the slot machine just said awww dang it but the air said bro stop thinking about gambling yo ass going back to rizzia because gods are cosmic overpowered all seeing all knowing all loving all invincible entities unlike us trash level one entities whos only ability is diddling mtg cards from your dads collection in ohio

now im back with my retarded faction of gooners in rizzingham planning to bomb the entire business district and the 6 flags part of the mall pls help but i got yeeted by pacman from the dave and busters and saw the entire city and as the wind howled and the ice cracked beneath my feet, I realized something:

This city isn’t dead.
It’s dreaming.
And I’m the only dumb motherfucker still awake inside the nightmare.

Welcome to the 100th pasta, kings.
We lost the war.
We lost the cures.
We lost our balls.

But at least we still have terrorism.

HELL YEAH TERRORISM.

AND THATS WHY GRINGOS WE FUCK BITCHES GET MONEH!!!!!

edit:!

This is what happens when Shark Tank, Mad Max, Las Vegas, Shrek, and 67 layers of Gen Alpha/Zoomer slang have a violent orgy in a burning parking garage.

My mom once said always make the most out of your time.

day one of burning my pubes for tung tung sahurrrrr

Oh OH OH YES MMM YES

AHHHH YES MMMM

OH MY FUCKING GOD

THE JIZZ BECAME A BABY IN THE BATHTUB AN DNOW ITS CHASING ME

FUCKING HELP

bro the tentacles lowkey feel good

ok so the following events of porn tottally not clickbait happened and for no logical reason ur local florida man is fighting a stage 6 or 7 gooner on steroids called goonstrong but electronic assholes became hitler nein nein nein and started the 4th great grease war of 5am before the great meme reset done by the yeet gods at 6am

goonstrong then just nuked jim the dishwasher prophet with kim john un for the luls on instagram but gta6 catched up to ww3 and it was prevented then goonstrong started gooning to create a time warp which broke the fabric of rizzality and jim just got mogged by tung tung sahurrrr in the shithole

then jim the dishwasher prophet got punched so hard he had a dream like any anime character do and in that dream all it fucing said was

"remember son dying is gay"

thats what yeetus feetus told jim the dishwahser prophet after he was revived by a tf2 poop syringe made of 67 saddam husseins

jim the dishwasher prophet then woke up ate 2109302384902384902340234 billion fucking pounds of pure tuff phonk and drugs and skibid mogged senator goonstrong like 67 times before goonstrong just started gooning to summon casoeh who became a blackhole like that one meatcanyon episode then some lightshow happened and i ran out of creativity just watch dragon ball or invincible sped up and youll see bro then the goon juice ran out for some reason then jim slipped on a banan peel for 2189398723478901283762394801278324908794908932319879804712783912879452879461378492798713840923789587913480992084890138099818941298391498129301349129491349219491293932929394259389431959447819348294893893833149485934543583094584390584309853409583490584309584398349538495843592840984982829587294892087891378`92841742394023849238423094 eons but time traveled back just to mog goonstrong goonstrong for some reason had plot armor

then jim the dishwahse rprophet then just dmca'd goonstrong for assault and battery on a police officer bro just spammed objection and used hacks to win easy but tiktok gained sentience as the ragebait virus host for no reason showed up and said

#SKIBIDITOILET #OHIO #RIZZLER #GYATT #FANUMTAX #GRIMACESHAKE #MOGGING #LOOKSMAXING #KAICENAT #BABYGRONK #LIVVYDUNNE #STICKYGYATT #GOBLINMODE #NOCAP #FRFR #BUSSIN #GULAG #DELULU #SITUATIONSHIP #BEIGEFLAG #REDFLAG #CLEANGIRLAESTHETIC #MOBWIFE #COQUETTE #BOMBAYE #TUNGSAHUR #ASOKA #TIDALWAVE #SUBWAYSURFERS #SENSORYVIDEO #SANDCUTTING #HYDRAULICPRESS #ASMR #STORYTIME #GRWM #OOTD #POV #CORECORE #HOPECROE #THIRSTTRAP #GOTHMOMMY #MOMMYSORRY #CHELSEAWHISTLE #AURA #NEGATIVERAURA #WRIZZ #LRIZZ #RATIO #UNC #BRATSUMMER #DEMURE #MINDFUL #SLAY #PERIODT #THALASSOPHOBIA #BACKROOMS #SCARYSODA #GRIMACE #NPC #IShowSpeed #CASEOH #STEPPER #GLAZING #COOKING #DOONTDOIT # nononowaitwaitwait#SITUATION #MUNCH #ICESPICE #RENEGADE #SAVAGE #HITTHERHAPS #SADHAMSTER #CHIPICHIPICHAPACHAPA #PEDROPEDROPEDRO #MIAUMIAU #DUBIDUBIDU #MFR #SKIBIDI #SUNSHINEBOY #LIFEMISSION #AIRPODBUMP #YOUNGHO #DRACULAWALK #INTHENAVY #TURNINGCHINESE #CALLBACKDANCE #E85DUMBER #WIDEAWAKECHALLENGE #BOOMCLAPRESPONSE #BEBOTTRANSFORMATION 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#ROCKSTARGAMES #GAMINGCOMMUNITY #ESPORTS #CLUTCH #VICTORYROYALE #GAMINGMEMES #EDUTOK #DIDYOUKNOW #FUNFACTS #LEARNONTIKTOK #SCIENCETOK #HISTORYTOK #PSYCHOLOGYTOK #PHILOSOPHYTOK #BOOKRECOMMENDATIONS #DEEPMEANING #BRAINFOOD#SPEEDRUN #RETROCOLLECTING #GAMEPLAY #VIDEOGAMES #ART #DIGITALART #PROCREATE #DRAWING #ILLUSTRATION #SKETCHBOOK #PAINTING #ARTIST # JOHN CENA #THEROCK #LIVINGINTHEusa #Compilation #enriqueeee#ARTISTSOFTIKTOK #DIY #CRAFTS #CROCHET #KNITTING #POTTERY #CERAMICS #WOODWORKING #HOMEDECOR #INTERIORSTYLING #MINIMALISM #COTTAGECORE #AESTHETIC #VIBE#NYC #LOSANGELES #TEXAS #HOUSTON #MIAMI #LONDON #PARIS #TOKYO #DUBAI #INDIA #BRAZIL #EUROPE #AMERICA #SMALLTOWN #SUBURBAN #CITYLIFE #COUNTRYLIFE #DESILIFE #LATINOTOK #UKTOK #MOOD #JOURNALING #SCRAPBOOKING #PHOTOGRAPHY #FILMMAKING #CINEMATIC #TRAVEL #WANDERLUST #NATURE #OUTDOORS #HIKING #CAMPING #GARDENING #PLANTMOM #PLANTDAD #SUCCULENTS #SUSTAINABILITY #SLOWLIVING #UPCYCLING#MEDTOK #DOCTORTOK #NURSETOK #LAWYERTOK #TEACHERTOK #STUDENTLIFE #COLLEGETOK #HIGHSCHOOLTOK #CORPORATETOK #BOSSFIGHT #METALGEAR#BLUECOLLAR #TRUCKDRIVER #CONSTRUCTIONLIFE #CHEFTOK #HAIRSTYLIST #BARBERTOK #REALTORLIFE #FYP #ForYou #DuetThis #StitchThis #ViralChallenge #TrendAlert #HarlemShake #Rickroll #ShoopDaWhoop #MemeHistory #AltTextPower #TikTokAlgorithm #ReelsCrossover #ShortsCombo #DiscordSpam #LateNightPosting #CommentClapback #EpicFail #RandomBrainrot #ChaosEnergy #Over9000Views #MetaLevel100 #InternetCulture #CrowdControl #MicroBoss #ChallengeAccepted #ImpossibleCombo #SleepDeprivedCreativity#THRIFTING #VINTAGEFINDS #SELFCARE #WELLNESS #MENTALHEALTH #MEDITATION #YOGA #FITNESS #GYM #WORKOUT #GYMTOK #FITNESSMOTIVATION #GAINS #HEALTHYRECIPES #COOKING #BAKING #FOODIE #CHEF #MEALPREP #COFFEE #LATTEART #SKINCARE #MAKEUP #GRWM #OOTD #FASHION #STREETWEAR #SNEAKERHEAD #DAILYVLOG #ADAYINTHELIFE #STUDYGRAM #PRODUCTIVITY #LIFEHACKS #ADULTING #MOTIVATION #SUCCESS #HUSTLE #SMALLBUSINESS #SUPPORTLOCAL #ENTREPRENEUR #MONEYTOK #FINANCE #INVESTING #EDUCATION #SCIENCE #HISTORY #FACTS #LEARNING #AGARTHA #RUCKARUCKA #FF #MINECRAFTTIPS #GAMINGTIPS #EASTEREGGS #THEORIES #ADS #AGARTHAAD #WHOISLIDDY #OILINGTIME #SOAPDROP #RATIODEMON #BANANATPOSE #IKEAWALMART #SCPOHIO #SIGMASKIBIDI #ULTIMATEPEAK #ENDINGLORE #STAYINSOLVENT #DERESETISCOMING #GAbagoon #mario #RICKROLL #DUCKROLL # bromadeastatement#RELEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASEEEEEEEEEEEEEMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE #IHAVEPLAYEDTHESEGAMESBEFOREFRFRIHAVEPLAYYEDTHESEGAMESBEFOREISAIDIHAVEPLAYEDTHESEGAMESBEFOREEEEEEEEEEE#GAAAABAGOOOLLLLLL AI #wellwhateverIdidnt t

hen some 34gh nightcore tough mango phonk abomination was played over while the amount of sigma phonk edits caused the entirety of my ass to lag so much that i loweky wuit and released the crabs into the ocean who became godzilla and destroyed the entire city with butter from the goon juic ebasement but with my legendary fighting skills i woke up grabbed a burger king foot lttuce and burger king crown hat plane guy and fell asleep just to realize it was done in reverse so i did it again and the crabs went away because they are sealubbers and not landlubbers and cows give off the rizz of a mogless skibidi zombie or an insolvent nintendo goblin not reccomended not gonna lie so i am gonna stfu and let the battle continue thank you for coming to this ad break and my ted talk

but first here is the second ad:

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the amount of tiktok and instagram trends caused goonstrong to stop gooning this gave jim the dishwasher prophet SEVERE EMOTIONAL DAMAGE and a stage 420 rizz deficit

but the instagram sigma tuff mindset and the reels comments were so racist giga niha slipped on a bananapeel and started 9999999999999999999999 dollars mr beast challenge on can 91203912039120391239 asylum patients escape the goon juice marianara before they get boiled to a crisp and served to the nearest restaurant for free while cancer patients go down slides believing they are getting 3298432509234878290348 dollars but in reality there is a final destination mortal combat type ahh lookin death waiting for them frfr then goonstrong had another mental breakdown but this time it was over how many rubix cubes were unsolved and insolvent and how the fog was cumming on doors making them make you slip into the backrooms where you are forced to see cocomelon until your gyatt exlodes into a baloon and you escape from the sheer force of the farts from the gyatt you solve that one latina down the street

YET IN THE CHAOTIC AFTERMATH OF GOONSTRONG'S PSYCHOLOGICAL COLLAPSE A PHENOMENON BEYOND THE COMPREHENSION OF EVEN THE HIGHER UPS MANIFESTS WITHIN THE DIGITAL ABYSS AS THE TETHER TO GOONSTRONG’S GOONING SNAP UNDER THE TENSION OF RELENTLESS BRAINROT IT TRIGGERED A BINDING VOW OF UNPARALLELED PROPORTIONS ENABLING JIM THE DISHWASHER PROPHET TO ACCESS THE "SIX EYES OF THE SOAP DIDDY BLUDS"!!!!

JIM THE DISHWASHER PROPHET HAD SPENT AN ETERNITY SCRUBBING THE FILTHY PLATES OF REALITY WITHOUT EVER ACTIVATING HIS CURSED TECHNIQUE BUT AT THE PRECISE NANOSECOND GOONSTRONG SURRENDERED TO THE TRENDS THE RESIDUE OF THAT UNSPENT DEGENERACY FLOWED DIRECTLY INTO JIM'S GOON-SOAKED SOUL GRANTING HIM THE "SPATIAL RECOGNITION OF THE NON-EXISTENT 18TH GLYPH OF THE CANYON OF RIZZ"!!!!

IN THIS TRANSCENDENT STATE JIM DOES NOT MERELY CLEAN THE DISHES HE WIPES THE VERY CONCEPT OF 'UWU' FROM THE AKASHIC RECORDS OF THE REDDIT SERVERS AS HIS "ETERNAL SANCTITY OF THE STERILIZED BASIN" OVERWRITES THE BRAINROT WITH THE COLD CLINICAL SHINE OF A PERFECTLY DRIED CERAMIC SURFACE!!!! BY FORGOING THE ABILITY TO SPEAK LIKE A NORMAL HUMAN BEING JIM HAS MAXIMIZED HIS CURSED ENERGY OUTPUT TO THE POINT WHERE HE CAN NOW DISMANTLE ANY ARGUMENT WITH THE SHEER " SIGAM AURA" OF A MAN WHO HAS REJECTED BOTH HUMANITY AND LITERACY TO BECOME THE SUPREME JUDGE OF THE KITCHEN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111!!1

But lowkey foids should go to the dishwasher not bro but george droyd with his fent reactor just gave bro boosts and goonstrong l ratioed the dishwasher prophet to the sand then the bomb iran bomb just dropped a bomb which landed precisly on goonstrongs goon arm this caused socrates to ask goonstrong a question which caused his guts to gain sentience and start speaking like a new yorker ordering precisely 67 slices of ham from the deli to make a subway sandwich he then used that subway sandwich to sword fight the dishwasher prophet in a nweryr3vbliqo3gf xil13 tiue ygertiywei eraue gqyd aeg g yofehg ef ieru gew iuer uiewf iwe ruer fwe ff hqwgrw rhwf huer uhrw ete8yr848r8 y932g 8y97 83r2 8eg8 9y2r89 fr 89e 78f e8 w8e979fwe 0h 89rq 89geh oq gywgr auis god ufhug hua igufu sd uiu f huiwe giwe ioh urfh uiew giwe gide iuge ydg giedg ied gyie gidy gie gide ygd e ge d d d giddidididididi sounds alot like quagmire but we are not adult swim diddly blud

ok so goonstrong slipped on a banan peel and stabbed the dishwasher prophet with a british posioness nife but even that posioned jim and he was then chased by 9999999 unpayed tax reforms from donald tangerine orange man goonstrong took advantage of the moment and started gooning but gooning was no longer an option as his dihh was stolen by a steal a brainrot player at 3am bro just diddnt know it yet then bro got sniped and got we are masterdebtored 67 times but bro still has plot armor for no reason so jim the dishwasher prophet called popeyes chicken and lured in the entire hood to fight the cops whom he lured with donuts this caused the dishwasher prophet to gain a stage five wanted level in gta5 where franklin showed up to defend his home and yeeted george droyd into goonstrong and goonstrong ran out of goon material on deviantart and the goon playlist was gone so he lowkey like france just white flagged gave up not before nuking kim john un again for the luls on instagram frfr ong

then the goon king kim john un said bro thats it no more wifi and unplugged the router this caused oseama been lagging and the entirety of tiktok to betray jim the dishwasher prophet by hitting the griddy and lying about his rizz next to the nearest waffle house serving floor baconed grimace shake piss and shitt sink jim exploded and then got executed in the city called goonhala by the gooners

a random beta male just stabbed jims dead body and holy sigma blood fell on him he became an alpha male sigma preacher for baseplatanism although all he said was

"call your friend who is friends with a rich guy who is friends with epstiens family who is friends with diddy who is friends with trump who is friends with epstien and ask epstien and the entire 67club to nuke and brutally brutally diddle the child with baby oil and

6769420 foot diddling sticks"

and "dont be a racist be like mario

hes italian made by japanese speaks white looks like a mexican jumps like a black man and takes coins like the good jew he is"

then jim the dishwasher prophet became jesus for no reason and goonstrong just became a fucking legendary myth

and then we used his death as propaganda during the 4th great grease war but due to copyright we had to call propganda the n word dont ask why here is the logs:

"But in existence is a option that bypasses this dilemma, which is the avoidance of that specific symbol in the anglophonic lexicon so as to not mandate its use and thus also sound extremely posh. What do you all think of my ability to make sentences without the use of that specific symbol in the English lexicon? Am I of the magnificent peoples who speak the tongue of all who be at the head of kingdoms?"

"Greetings fellow Copypasta writer, perhaps may I ask how may you fare?"

"I myself am not attempting to make a copypasta, rather I am trying to avoid the 18th glyph in the english lexicon as my input method's key for that symbol, so so as to not sound 'uwu' I am avoiding the use of it by this whimsical method."

"Quite a very intriguing linguistic challenge! I am thoroughly amused by this deliberate act of banning the eighteenth symbol of the fine keyboard. Such dedication in this perilous pursuit to avoiding the emoticon 'uwu' is highly commendable and I mean highly."

"I wonder... why use lot word when few do trick?"

"This is, again, because I do not want the childish sounding language of the 'uwu', so I follow this lengthy method of using the English language."

"My oh my. It is a fine specimen of man specifically the branch of mankind we label homo sapien yet I am quite amused how one homo sapien conjured enough cranium power to construct such a message on such a complex realm we call Reddit."

"3 new mods have been added."

"Well, what the hell, I am not a playwright like Shakespeare, so let us just gOON! FUGG YEAH! LOVE TERRORISM!!!!!!!!"

"cough cough ~3 new mods have been added."

"Perhaps communicate to me, fine sir, what are these new enforcers of this fine realm of Reddit?"

"Please be quiet."

"That is five."

"What?"

"He has no duty to follow such requests. Please do not attempt to silence his speech because you cannot live up to his ability to use the anglophonic lexicon in unbelievably complex ways. In other words, please stop talking."

that really helped us win the hormuz war frfr

fajitas hoeld the fags of bros together but hoes mags my toes

almost broke heaven

what do you call a jewish kung fu master jew jitsu then you can counter with kung fuhrer

what do you call jewish kung fu masters?

Jew-jitsu

You can always counter with kung fuhrer

To counter kung fuhrer you can counter with pure gyatt hemmoroids

to counter hemmoroids

you can give yourself an anal prolapse

and from this you gain two dihhs

one long dihh

one short dihh

with those dihhs you can slip it inside a delorean and time travel to make urself suck the dihh

and escape like a smooth criminal

then start eating your childs fucking organs

to reverse the anal prolapse

then finally play chess vertically

so you could masturbate to chess hentai

and that is how you beat ajew

Thank you this was a huge ego boost my ego was big now its even bigger. -- freakbob before dying to some random disease

I remember when life was very skibidi and very simpol like the youtube cooking tutorialsand bro pennywise is getting lazy but lowkey i still fall for that because im a miner in the playdough mines.

I remember being a kid and i used to say this when i saw that one weird ass kid oh fuhhh no bro its big dihh randy he gonna steal all out brainrots RUNNNN!!!!!! then we would spray our special sauce all over and the cops would drag us by the balls out of our apartments and yeet us into the sidewalk to get biked over by bikes i fucking missed those days who else does?

Then one day i got fucking rejected by a foid and my dad was a ted bundy and i just joined the rizzless moggers of skibid now in this army there was what you would call a special force without the s but they were indeed quite special one time i met one who just spoke about pianos it was a really amazing experience i would actually go back there the piano was just so in sinc with the bass it was amazing i had an eargasm for the entire way like holy fucking shit then i woke up back to reality and billy bob jones and shitass supreme just said

"I just stopped thinking... I'm the world's happiest tool".

"My God! A soldier like you comes along once in a thousand years".

jesus christ thats what happens when you take away a kids ipad ig lol

then uhm we had a conversation because EVRY war literature needs some emotional moment frfr more emotional than instagram

"not everyone has a house under their nameland is a finite resource get one early while you can."

"geezer unc speaking fax but I can't stand up without getting lightheaded, but we can fire the equivalent of 400 elephants strapped together at 20,000 miles per hour to the moon. Wild."

"NASA... Never A Straight Answer. You really believe that's real? It's a green screen, mate. I don't trust anything unless I see it with my own two eyeballs... except for this post I saw on Facebook that said the moon is actually a projection and the Earth is shaped like a Donut. That's breaking news. That's facts."

"the moon is cheeze they brainwash from the young age especially them esptein fellas"

"cap"
"BETA MALE! ITS HOLLYWOOD! It's all filmed in a basement in Nevada! Wake up! They’re just laundering money to hide the fact that the stars are just LED lights and cheese in a big dome!"

"my bro no wonder fo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!DS dont wanna go near you get your cheese from the corner store bro"

"I'd groom grass if she was a hot girl :3 ~~~"

"nigga has free speech lets take it away from him"

"you know people ain't gonna know cus no one leaks this~~"

"shut up bro you and freakbob said last week you love femboys the moment you saw one you both went no no no thats not masculine or alpha or conservative christian"

"I was drunk on cheeze"

"I suddenly have the urge to play fortnite learning the moon is cheeze but my pc got smashed by a clanker and now it has a computer virus bruh and theres no fucking wifi here its a battlefield!!!!!11"

"See i told you jay is a jewish amish"

"nope nope nope nope UWU no slurs, no bullying but we allow gooning so shut up or else i ban u"

"I bet if you lost a pound every message you sent to the discord kitten you would still be more obese than caseoh and my mom combined with a blackhole"

"@everyone I have a hot take we should shit ourselves the moment the next minecraft 2 week phase starts and drag our balls across frying pans"

"I don't even have a job to get a pan vro but that is hot for your balls"

"your bad at jokes bro might as well delete your discord lmao"

"real"

"GUYS ARE YOU EEVEN LISTENING TO MY FUCKING REASON NASA IS A HOAX!!!!!!!!!"

"no because i showed my drawing to my dad sister and mom they all hated it except grandpa because he knew what the last rejected artist did"

"the united states needs to unbend the gateway arch into a strong dominant shaft unlike the submissive curve supported by two huge spheres and cj always gets arrestedthis is because CJ IS BLACK"

"mom, the best mother in the world is you"

"bro sent it in discord :skull :wilted flower :cry"

"nah thats actually peak bro"

"shut the fuck up"

"bro really loves his mommy lmao"

"who disturbed me in my goon????!!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?"

":gif"

"yo guys i finally got a job and got a pc and I HAVE a video idea lets play minecraft together and eat slighty expensive steak!!"

"no fam i got a job like how 9/11 was an inside job"

"no fam im gooning"

"no fam im banning you"

"no fam im buying real estate"

"no fam i got a vacation"

"sure bro"

"you know alcoholics dont run in my family they drive"

"shut up bro yo pc is built like a raisin also your joke is worse than my nightmares bro"

"I just wanted to play Minecraft with my friends one last time."

"friends lol that ended a looong time ago buddy now play in character"

"meow im a discord kitten*blushes cutely*"

"*stabs you cutely*"

"*bans you cutely for harming discord kitten*"

"guys i have a theory on why computers brainwash you and watch you"

"real"

"bro HES TELLING THE TRUTH"

"top tier satire frfr"

"Thank you this was a huge ego boost my ego was big now its even bigger."

one of the men had a mental breakdown and died all our drill sarge said was

"GET YOUR HEAD OUT YOUR ASS, PRIVATE! THE WAR AIN’T OVER JUST ‘CAUSE YOU PUSSIES DIED! DROP AND GIVE ME TWENTY BEFORE I SHOVE MY BOOT SO FAR UP YOUR RIZZ YOU’LL BE TASTING LEATHER FOR A WEEK!"

We were then at mach ten yeeted while we were drinking badly pissed beer intot he fucking rizz skibiidi tung tung sahurrr battle bus where we were brutally didled by our healthbars to increase stamina and then the cold harse winter slapped us and came on us with its homeade special sauce ith so much we reaked of sperm harder than my penis and nokia combined frfr then like a billion tanks and a billion planes and helicopters just battle royaled our ass into ohio skibidi i then grabbed feet pics and hypnotize a discord modt o eat all the enemies food and give the hoes and foids over there some pretty nice disease

then there was so much bullet that AL dente got shot and just bleeded out pasta but we lowkey ate the pasta and gained constipation and won the siege of rizzterdam but then the dam was exploded because the moggers ate our penises off and we had to hit the griddy while it was rainding pure famly friendly uranium at mach ten telling us we should alt f4 our ass to see jim the dishwasher prophet who piss and shit so hard that the fanum tax would be no more oh how far dreams were

I gained ptsd for no reason at all maybe because i saw my friend die a slow agonizing death but anyways jay got his nuts bitten off by a mogger zombie while we were bloing up the bridge apparently bro hasnt played L4D2 quite the dumbass still i lost 19029010921902 percent of my confidence and rizz because the yeet gods wanted me to be deppressed and submissive even though i did not give a fuck for half my friends not gonna lie i just wanted to get out of there with the moneh

We all bleed red, We all goon white, but together.. we are united by goon NOW GOONERS ASSEMBLE TO RAID THE SCIENTOLOGY BUILDING

Thank you this was a huge ego boost my ego was big now its even bigger.

Quite a dumb speech if you ask me i was bored anyways

the gooners then nuked the fuck out of sigmanton recapturing the goon kingdoms capital and strengthening ties with republic of adrian ut since they had so many factory defects they had to dress up as jesus to lure little kids to burn them in the coal factories to provide fuel for the city otherwise the floor bacon will twitch and the jeffrey islander ipad will nuke kim john un at mach ten and cause the place to flood with absolute shitheads of rizz and roll around in sewage water stink the place up cause disease before shitting inthe sink to summon mom to spank yo ass to summon the femboys who say fuck no causing the tung tung sahurrr and frigo camelo to finally ascend to the upper rizz warp and cast judgement day apon us all but thats just a stupid prophecy frm the local crazy dumbass down the street would crack my baddie and participate in lobster races more than this absolute goyslop pay gaygrade frfr ong sybau

You know its bad when ur a ghost and you hear tri poloski in ohio

yoo bro the sptein files look (redacted)

Talula Does The Hula From Hawaii then just pointlessly sacrificed himself for a medal honestly quite stupid when your life matters the most out here fuck him anyways he always gave us food when we were starving didnt care just wanted to get banished anyways

the western plains of meme were quite "eazy" it was eazy for the pigs sitting back but not for the hands doing the work

one day bro i wake up on the plains of meme and the sky already look cooked like someone deepfried the sun and the wind hitting sideways like it got beef with me personally and im standing there holding a stick i stole from a tree that wasnt even real probably a png tree someone forgot to render

and i look over the hill and i see the enemy lines forming up like 9999400 dudes veichles planes hormuz drones the bmb iran stealth bomber all wearing different skins one guy dressed as peter griffin one guy dressed as a minecraft villager one guy literally just a jpeg of a shoe and they all screaming different battlecries none of them in sync its like a choir made of lag spikes and then the fucking silos launched and went inside my ass like a bad dildo of pre ncool fuel

and im like bro this is it this the plains this where legends get folded like laundry fr foids panties and i start running but my legs not even moving right im sliding like a roblox character on low ping and the ground turning into memes under my feet like every step i take it changes from ohio grass to sigma tiles to that one picture of patrick looking confused or patrick bateman walking

and then the first wave hits us and its just pure chaos like someone dropped a blender on reality one dude throwing rizz like its grenades another dude yelling “SKIBIDI FORMATION” and exploding into confetti and im swinging my stick like im trying to swat a fly the size of a school bus

and then i see my homies falling left and right one got hit by a vine boom so loud it deleted his memory another got ratio’d so hard he vanished but i just didnt care i was so emotionally drained i dont fucking care anymore just why

so i climb on top of a rock that look like shrek’s kneecap and i yell “I HAVE 219192091109231203912031209381209381209381209312391299 terabytes OF CHILD PORN AND HENTAI” and the whole battlefield stop for like 0.2 seconds like the universe buffering and then everyone start screaming again even louder like i just patched the war with a sound update

and then the sky open up and a missile doing mach ten fly over us like a fucking pissed off shooting star and im like bro who ordered that and it slams into the ground and the shockwave turn half the battlefield into a slideshow and im still standing somehow like a walmart action figure that refuses to fall over

and i look around and the plains of meme burning glitching looping breaking and im like this the battle this the moment this the war that decides nothing but feels important anyway

and i charge back in yelling nonsense because thats all I got left

socrates then fucking said

𝓑𝔂 𝓯𝓲𝓷𝓮 𝓼𝓹𝓮𝓬𝓲𝓶𝓮𝓷 𝓸𝓯 𝓶𝓪𝓷𝓴𝓲𝓷𝓭 (𝓱𝓸𝓶𝓸 𝓮𝓻𝓮𝓬𝓽𝓾𝓼) 𝓯𝓻𝓸𝓶 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓲𝓽 𝓲𝓼 𝓶𝓸𝓼𝓽 𝓵𝓲𝓴𝓮𝓵𝔂 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓼𝓱𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓫𝓮 𝓲𝓷𝓯𝓮𝓻𝓮𝓭 𝓫𝔂 '𝓹𝓸𝓻𝓷' 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓬𝓸𝓷𝓼𝓾𝓶𝓮 𝓽𝓱𝓪𝓽 𝓲𝓽 𝓹𝓮𝓻𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓼 𝓲𝓼 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓟𝓸𝓻𝓷𝓸𝓰𝓻𝓪𝓹𝓱𝔂 𝓬𝓸𝓷𝓳𝓾𝓻𝓮𝓭 𝓫𝔂 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓯𝓲𝓷𝓮 𝓪𝓻𝓽𝓲𝓼𝓽𝓼 𝓸𝓯 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓸𝓻𝓭𝓮𝓻 𝓸𝓯 𝓹𝓸𝓻𝓷𝓱𝓾𝓫 𝔀𝓱𝓸 𝓹𝓾𝓻𝓼𝓾𝓮𝓭 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓼𝓱𝓮𝓮𝓻 𝓲𝓷𝓽𝓻𝓲𝓬𝓪𝓽𝓮 𝓪𝓻𝓽 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓬𝓪𝓹𝓽𝓾𝓻𝓮𝓭 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓪𝓫𝓼𝓸𝓵𝓾𝓽𝓮 𝓯𝓲𝓷𝓮𝓷𝓮𝓼𝓼 𝓸𝓯 𝓾𝓽𝓽𝓮𝓻 𝓱𝓾𝓶𝓪𝓷 𝓪𝓷𝓪𝓽𝓸𝓶𝔂 𝓲𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓮𝔁𝓪𝓬𝓽 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓵𝓶 𝓸𝓯 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓲𝓷𝓽𝓮𝓻𝓷𝓮𝓽 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓵𝓶 𝓫𝓮𝓲𝓷𝓰 𝓯𝓲𝓵𝓵𝓮𝓭 𝔀𝓲𝓽𝓱 𝓪𝓫𝓼𝓸𝓵𝓾𝓽𝓮 𝓽𝓸𝓶𝓯𝓸𝓸𝓵𝓮𝓻𝔂, 𝔂𝓮𝓽 𝓹𝓮𝓻𝓱𝓪𝓹𝓼 𝓼𝓸𝓶𝓮 𝓯𝓲𝓷𝓮 𝓼𝓹𝓮𝓬𝓲𝓶𝓮𝓷𝓼 𝓸𝓯 𝓶𝓪𝓷𝓴𝓲𝓷𝓭 𝓼𝓽𝓲𝓵𝓵 𝓮𝔁𝓲𝓼𝓽 𝓲𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓲𝓶𝓹𝓾𝓻𝓮 𝓻𝓮𝓪𝓵𝓶 𝓸𝓯 𝓭𝓮𝓰𝓮𝓷𝓮𝓻𝓪𝓬𝔂. 𝓐𝓷𝓭 𝔂𝓸𝓾 𝓶𝓪𝔂 𝓪𝓷𝓭 𝓼𝓱𝓪𝓵𝓵 𝓵𝓪𝓾𝓰𝓱 𝓪𝓽 𝓽𝓱𝓮 𝓼𝓱𝓮𝓮𝓻 𝓪𝓶𝓸𝓾𝓷𝓽 𝓸𝓯 𝓪𝓾𝓭𝓪𝓬𝓲𝓽𝔂 𝓮𝓻𝓮𝓬𝓽𝓮𝓭 𝓲𝓷 𝓽𝓱𝓲𝓼 𝓬𝓵𝓪𝓲𝓶 𝓫𝓾𝓽 𝓯𝓮𝓪𝓻 𝓷𝓸𝓽 𝓪𝓼 MY ANUS IS GETTING BURNED BY SOCRAYESSSSSSSSSSSS SKIBIDID TOILET TUNG TUNG SAHUUURRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

we were then brutally ballcock tortured by enemy spies for information before being released into rizzingham to save 1 civvilian who knows how to cure being a corny ahh mf

bro the mall was quiet in that way that feel loud like the air itself holding its breath and its just me and the last five idiots the universe decided to leave alive

Gooberton McFlap limping like his legs downloaded the wrong update
Sir Rizzwald the Moist clutching a map upside down
Blarbo “Two‑Scoops” Jenkins carrying ammo for a gun he doesn’t even have
Uncle Skibbidiah Jones praying to a vending machine about goth dommy mommies
and Dr. Fwingleton P. Goonworthy insisting he’s “medically immortal” even though he tripped twice on nothing and smokes weed while asleep

and we standing there like the last five braincells in a group project

We finally pushed into Rizzingham Mall the last objective. The air smelled like stale pretzels, regret and gunpowder mixed with Grimace Shake syrup. Enemy snipers were posted up in Hot Topic and Spencer’s Gifts picking us off with fucking ratio beams and ooutdatedvine booms remized with fahhh.

Gooberton McFlap was limping so bad his left leg kept buffering before finally exploding half the city with the bomb has been planted sound effect sacring the osema been lagging terorsits to do a mircalse and yeet all the explosives like a baby ten feet into the air while i was smoking me 500 ciggarettes my lighter fell on the dynamite and blew up the entire industrial district and half the mall and most of the skyscrapers along with gooberton HELL YEAH TERRORISM!!!!!!!. Sir Rizzwald the Moist had finally flipped the map the right way but was now crying because it was just a mall directory before getting disemboweled by a missle from hormuz. Blarbo “Two-Scoops” Jenkins ran out of ammo thirty minutes ago and started throwing literal scoops of ice cream at the enemy like they were frag grenades then he ran out of ice cream slipped on a banan peel and fell in an industrial shredder dying a final destination death. Uncle Skibbidiah Jones was still praying to the broken vending machine for goth dommy mommies to descend and dominate him but he got shot by a tank deserved honestly. Dr. Fwingleton P. Goonworthy kept saying “I’m medically immortal” right before eating a sniper round to the chest and ragdolling into a Wetzel’s Pretzels before getting w'sed to absolute oblivion by the OPPS and then the ross dress for less fucking materialized into my anus wtf bro then the dave and busters just released pac man and it ate like all the food court stores that starved big dick randy who was here and bro became as thin as a skeleton that we used him as a bow to kill and mog the warlord chossef somanynames of this stupid fuckass half destroyed hlaf frozen wasteland mega city of like 91209301230293193929319392392939293 buildings then we fr just played in the waterpark because boys have adhd frfr.

We were the last five braincells in a group project... and the project was war.

I Looked back at the world and asked why did my commander get yeeted by a flying bat from a random florida man in the north rizzingham mall I just survived the eastern piss palisade campaign on 293193901238091283120381209 cans of redbull 1209391230129301293012932103 cans of prime 210930123912312903120931203 lattes 029301230912301230129301293021930231032313 bottles of water 92301309218930128380912830912830921830912812093812093 pounds of meth (breaking bad special specciffically made during breaking bad vs game of thrones) and 209309123912301230123123012 hours of tuff mango phonk and maybe doom music while parrying the universe and ofcourse 999999999999999999999999999999 bottles of piss and vodka im sure the sniper has more though since he gets that shit from the eldritch gas station of the oil lands freedom lands rules by tangerine orange kung fu man of such a benevolent realm its insane how long its lasted anyways ima stop rambling to let the other copypasta writers to have a chance

While we were fighting in Rizzingham, the naval lads were getting absolutely violated in the Grimace Shake Ocean (that purple cursed sea between Ohio and the Plains of Meme).

It was Leyte Gulf but absolute brainrot with dj khlaid spamming baby gronk x bonnie blues child in ohio while the vocals were absolute gyatt in autotune.

Ten thousand skibidi toilet warships vs. the entire Mogger Fleet. Sigma-class battleships with glowing shit were launching fanum tax torpedoes. One carrier got hit so hard it started playing the tung tung sahurrr song theme at full volume while sinking. Sailors were jumping overboard straight into the thick purple shake screaming as it dissolved their penis.

Admiral Big Chungus was on the bridge yelling “IT’S SO OVER” while Vice Admiral shit the writers wran out of names oh fuck it were already this deep in the pasta anyways kept drinking more of the shake, powering up but also slowly turning into a eldritch abomination. Somewhere in the chaos, a lone DeLorean drifted across the waves doing 88 mph, leaving a trail of long dihh and short dihh vapor. while casoeh was doing the metroman armstring while watching ishowspeed touch kai cenat sped up plus reverbed frfr

A Japanese-style kamikaze run but it was just 400 Discord kittens in zero rizz planes screaming “MEOW MEOW UWU” before crashing into the hull and exploding into copium.

The ocean was so thick with shake and cum that ships literally got stuck and had to be pried apart by rescue tugs. One destroyer got boarded by enemy femboys and never recovered the entire crew switched sides mid-battle.

Back on land, we got the transmission:

it played while we finally raised that god damn flag and the 2nd national anthem next to we are masterdebator played

Hey all my fellow CUMrades 😩🍆🍑 It’s May the Thirst 📅😈😫💦✊😏  Time 🕒 to whip out that FLAG 🇻🇳🇦🇴🇨🇳 and RAISE Daddy’s flag POLE 🏃⬆️🚩 We gonna RIDE 🏇 this revolutionary dick RAW 🚼🍆🍑😫😏  Y’all know CRAPITALISM 💩💩👑💎🍷💶💳🙅 still sucks Donald Dump’s 2-INCH Tower 👱🗼⤵️  Today’s the GAY 🏳️‍🌈 🌈👬👭 to Occu[cream]pie 🍰 that pussy 🍑🍑🍑 and STROKE that BOLSHEDICK👊🏽✊🏽👊🏽✊🏽 🍆 get out in the street 🛣🌆 and SWIPE LEFT 📱⬅️ on the bourgeoisie and SICKLE ☭ and HAMMER 🔨 the ruling class 🔪👱👸🎩👑🔫🔫 SHOUT OUT TO ALL MY ROSA LUXEMWHORES 💁 🙌🍾💥 and AntoniHO Gramscis 👓📚✊, QUEER 🌈🔀 or STRAIGHT➖👫 , CUMmunists 🍆💦 or HOcialists 😏 , RISE UP ⬆️⬆️⬆️
SEND THIS TO 1️⃣9️⃣1️⃣7️⃣ of your  most RATCHET RADICAL REDS 🌹, get 0️⃣ back you a REACTIONHAIRY 💇😩😖 White Liberal 👮🏻👮‍♀️👸🏻, Get 🔟 back, you a FIDEL cASStro🇨🇺 🍑😘   Get 2️⃣0️⃣ replies you a MASTER WHOREGANIZER 👏🏿👏🏾👏🏻👏🏽

jim the dishwasher prophet said

"The victory won in the east, must now be won in the west"

Half the surviving Gooners started saluting with one hand and gooning with the other. Pure cinema.

after the broadcast

I then saw my last homie bro got cooked by a missle at mach ten after saying

"As long as you live, the heart of this army can never be broken. Things will change, my friend. As sigma alpha males, we will return to the republic of adrian's embrace"

Killing a brother is hard, but that doesn't mean it can't be fair

so I gave bro a gun then shot him in the head giving him a sense he fought to the end

A past is never too dark and a start is never too far

I found the man who betrayed our arseand i executed bro like it was micah in a gta 4 style way

I then just walked after that and watched the beutiful sunset

REMEMBER THE HUMPTULIPS! AND AVENGE RIZZINGHAM!

____________________________________________________________________________________________

happy 4th ig

happy moms day

made by u/somanynamestochossef 2 discord servers 1 groupchat and a whole lot of weed

date of creation

april 30th hitler day -- may the 4th

"not everyone has a house under their nameland is a finite resource get one early while you can."

"geezer unc speaking fax but I can't stand up without getting lightheaded, but we can fire the equivalent of 400 elephants strapped together at 20,000 miles per hour to the moon. Wild."

"NASA... Never A Straight Answer. You really believe that's real? It's a green screen, mate. I don't trust anything unless I see it with my own two eyeballs... except for this post I saw on Facebook that said the moon is actually a projection and the Earth is shaped like a Donut. That's breaking news. That's facts."

"the moon is cheeze they brainwash from the young age especially them esptein fellas"

"cap"
"BETA MALE! ITS HOLLYWOOD! It's all filmed in a basement in Nevada! Wake up! They’re just laundering money to hide the fact that the stars are just LED lights and cheese in a big dome!"

"my bro no wonder fo!!!!!!!!!!!!!!DS dont wanna go near you get your cheese from the corner store bro"

"I'd groom grass if she was a hot girl :3 ~~~"

"nigga has free speech lets take it away from him"

"you know people ain't gonna know cus no one leaks this~~"

"shut up bro you and freakbob said last week you love femboys the moment you saw one you both went no no no thats not masculine or alpha or conservative christian"

"I was drunk on cheeze"

"I suddenly have the urge to play fortnite learning the moon is cheeze but my pc got smashed by a clanker and now it has a computer virus bruh and theres no fucking wifi here its a battlefield!!!!!11"

"See i told you jay is a jewish amish"

"nope nope nope nope UWU no slurs, no bullying but we allow gooning so shut up or else i ban u"

"I bet if you lost a pound every message you sent to the discord kitten you would still be more obese than caseoh and my mom combined with a blackhole"

"@everyone I have a hot take we should shit ourselves the moment the next minecraft 2 week phase starts and drag our balls across frying pans"

"I don't even have a job to get a pan vro but that is hot for your balls"

"your bad at jokes bro might as well delete your discord lmao"

"real"

"GUYS ARE YOU EEVEN LISTENING TO MY FUCKING REASON NASA IS A HOAX!!!!!!!!!"

"no because i showed my drawing to my dad sister and mom they all hated it except grandpa because he knew what the last rejected artist did"

"the united states needs to unbend the gateway arch into a strong dominant shaft unlike the submissive curve supported by two huge spheres and cj always gets arrestedthis is because CJ IS BLACK"

"mom, the best mother in the world is you"

"bro sent it in discord :skull :wilted flower :cry"

"nah thats actually peak bro"

"shut the fuck up"

"bro really loves his mommy lmao"

"who disturbed me in my goon????!!?!?!??!?!?!?!?!?"

":gif"

"yo guys i finally got a job and got a pc and I HAVE a video idea lets play minecraft together and eat slighty expensive steak!!"

"no fam i got a job like how 9/11 was an inside job"

"no fam im gooning"

"no fam im banning you"

"no fam im buying real estate"

"no fam i got a vacation"

"sure bro"

"you know alcoholics dont run in my family they drive"

"shut up bro yo pc is built like a raisin also your joke is worse than my nightmares bro"

"I just wanted to play Minecraft with my friends one last time."

"friends lol that ended a looong time ago buddy now play in character"

"meow im a discord kitten*blushes cutely*"

"*stabs you cutely*"

"*bans you cutely for harming discord kitten*"

"guys i have a theory on why computers brainwash you and watch you"

"real"

"bro HES TELLING THE TRUTH"

"top tier satire frfr"

I gooned I came I forgot

SPEEDRUN TO GET ANAL ANY VIDEOGAME - any% speedrun in 1.49.74

become porn star in pornhub

hitler died during the making of this copypasta april 29th -- may1st "if art school says nein europe shall be mein" -- ado the forbidden painter before getting ran over by a tesla truck that became a mosnter truck out of the great mog of 3am

anyways here is this fucking copypasta to prevent this bullshit to get fucking yeeted to satan by the mods on here

“You think you’re ready? Nobody’s ready. Not until they’ve lived through what I have"

Thats what my dad said before his ass left me to fight for this skibidi republic of adrian

his ass left me faster than the mcdonalds CEO spitting the hamburger out faster than eminem, faster than the flash on weed, faster than the planes crashed, faster than the fucking wobble edits I see everywhere.

The news channel went on and said Uh ohhhhh 😳😳😳 it’s Slay Day May Day!!🚨🚨😏😏 all my nasty HOEletariat TWERKERS of the world 💃🍑🍑👌 UNITE against the DICKtatorship of capital 🍆💦💦💦but use a condom or u might go into LABOR 🤰👶🍼🙀✉️Send✉️ this to 5 Slay Day Sluts💅 to twirl around that May POLE with👯‍♀️💈💵to celebrate the CUMming of spring😩😩😩

and I became a gym bro because I wanted booty and swag frfr ong sybau

I was recruited because the military hated benjammin gifs and well an uncle sam poster of anti benjammin gif

We flooded the entire bathroom with grimace shake and summoned gordon ramsey to flood it with shit and fired the shit and fed it to the soup and we ended up killing john dover and ronald duck and we ended up burning down the place with deoderant with our autistic ahhh

then me and the bros talked

"Wasn't that the man who killed Adolf?"

"yes adolf killed hiter"

"at the decisive battle of"

"uhm"

"mental health i guess"

" Bruh mental health is level 100 battle I can't win"

"Thats why bridges exist"

"I don't like going outside anyways,"

"okay lemme think the toasterbaths are good"

"I remember the first time I did self harm, it felt good"

"I once played a game with my son about diving he's been diving since 2012 now he is floating!!"

tung tung sahuurr then yapped about masculinity but we lowkey didnt care

I then lost hope because my tv ended up upvote begging in ohio three am while socrates asked me if that is ur power what are you without it i said i dunno and was gyatted rizz then tung tung sahurrrrrr hit me in th ehead so hard and i got trained by tung tung sahurrrr to be a superhero or something but still i was listening to tuff sigma alpha mango phonk and then evan burger was beat near to death evan burger then killed tung tung sahurrrrr and then alt f4ed himself

bro bob ross materialized to fucking paint the entire scene while news reporters were getting shot by totally not war criminlas

that was the moment I realized you cant aurafarm 24/7

We then were in rizzingham it was fucking bullet hell bullets guts everywhere people dying left and right rape eeverywhere hell everywhere freezing and journalists trying to burn you the battle bus then spawned in the skibidi toilets to bomb the orphanage kids burned eveeyrhwere the buildings fell and tons of sigma alpha males started pissing on eachother to summon raining heavy machinguns to shoot our asses but lowkey the plot required it and the tank just started spinning at mach 10 and i touched a cactus and swallowed a glizzzy and then we lowkey won lol ez

Some retard sabotaged the thermal generators and now its escape from tarkov and freezing

I saw billy bob jones die slowly but the journalists and media censored it by billy bob jones was stuck in the ohio map with negative aura 💀 he tried to drink the grimace shake but he had zero rizz so the cup exploded like a pipe bomb from final destination 💥 he slipped on some prime hydration bottles and fell into a fan that was spinning at max skibidi speed it sliced him up like a mortal kombat fatality but then a bus with the fortnite battle pass drove over his head and his brain flew out and hit a transformer making the whole city lose power while he was getting 360 no scoped by a baby in a toilet 🚽 he didnt even have a medkit so he just glitched through the floor into the backrooms where he got cooked by a giant spider wearing a fedora while the phonk music played at 1000% volume billy bob jones had the worst spawn point ever and now he is just a pile of pixels getting the gritty on by a guy named xX_puzzyslayer_Xx4206769218880085 in the lobby chat crying because he lost his mewing streak and his fanum tax was stolen by a pigeon with a knife 🔪 FATALITY 🩸 he got ratioed by god and sent to the gulag with no teammates and 999 ping until his body turned into vbucks and evaporated into the digital void of the metaverse 🤡

bro killed 1 person and acted like lupin 3 but bro was still sigma

demented demarkus took one step in the snow and died of dark souls fall damage

Then I saw rizz bombs drop that just made everything ten times worse by tickling our feet with baby oil and those who gave up get diddled by jeffrey islander, d liddy, and donald orange man

My friend adrique S clanon being the horny asshole he is rapes a clanker and bro got a computer virus and became the khaby lame mechanism

we had to shoot him otherwise he would be captured the combat was so intense that even his gang said fuck no bro then yhe elvis presly meme summoned so many tanks and veichles it lagged the game so badly that the skibid rizz explosions said tyung tugn sahurrr and yeeted me to the poolrooms where i saw my father who abanndonned my ass he said some sigma motivational speech and i woke up to a guy sacrificing himself so we would escape the endless mindless factions of enemies it was just hell I didnt wanna go through anything anymore i just wanted to go to a corner and dissapear why just why all my friends are gone just gone they got mogged and rizzed by those assholes

then the civvilians gained rizz blasters and started fighting us too and there were so many bullets that you could not even call it a bullet hell bro its just bullet not even 110 percent more bullet just fucking bullet inside your ass everywhere didnt matter if you hated it it still got you.

eventually the ncool fuel froze and the generators were gone we had to escape the capital

all the skibidi rizz l ratio commander who betted 091091283902138021938210938230938209312809321 dollars on the teenage mutant ninja lobsters of the soldier that broke last year just said

“Listen up.

I’m not going to dress this up for you.
The Order of Porn is on the east ridge.
The mindless factions are pushing through the lower districts.
Unnamed’s men are tightening the noose from the north road.

By dawn, this city will be surrounded.

I know what that looks like.
I’ve lived through it more times than I care to count.

Some of you want to run.
Some of you want to stand.
Most of you… you’re looking at me, waiting for an answer I don’t have the right to force on you.

Because the truth is messy.
There is no clean choice here.

If you leave now, you might make it out before the roads close.
If you stay, you might buy the time the others need to escape.

Both paths are hard.
Both paths are brave.

But I’ll tell you this and listen closely, because I won’t repeat it.

Courage isn’t about charging into the fire.
Courage is choosing something when every option feels wrong.

Peer pressure will tell you to hold the line.
Fear will tell you to run.
But only you can decide what you can live with when this is over.

Look around you.
These people your neighbors, your friends they’re scared.
They need someone to steady the room, not someone to shout orders.

So here’s what I’m offering.

If you choose to evacuate, go now.
No shame. No judgment. You’re doing what you must.

If you choose to stay…
then stand with me.

Not because you were pressured.
Not because you were told.
But because you decided that this right here, right now is where you make your stand.

Whatever you choose, make it yours.

The city may fall.
The night may break.
But we do not.

Not today.”

Lowkey bro was fucking delulu and main character but I looked at the men and they were like yes rico kaboom

obviously diddnt go through that shit but I asked siri what it was like it said

"l ratio commander listened to doom music and maybe some tuff phonk became an ipad kid and nuked the entire place with pure skibid rizz and the sigma alpha males who wanted to aurfarmed became pancakes because a skyscraper flattened there asses and then quandale dingle time traveled and mogged all the gear and now people slipped on the ice and got deported by the ice and then kim jung goon nuked the mall making the shards go inside the journalists ass then the krispy kreme klub noclipped so many veichles the skibidi tung tung sahurrrr said shut the fuck up nigga before i clap yo ass then the porn hub drums played and there was a flood of men flooding the place the L ratio man lowkey frfr main character energy pissed himself so much that the piss freezed and the men were stuck then melted due to the amount of sexing from the pornhub tv's the superweapon tank gained sentience and well everyone died the end no climax for you bitch lmao"

then we bombarded the shit out of the city we even had to feed the missles and artillery with vitamin b1 because they became flaccid

then some mad scientists watched too many skibidi alpha male cocomelon edits that the jeffrey islander ipad summoned the great mog and this caused a mogging apocalypse in rizzingham

They used some fucked up chemicals and sure did fuck us up and now the convoy keeps getting rizzed and mogged by the teenage mutant ninja lobsters my friend frig camelo bled out from the stand and well I ran out of emotion frfr now i emo and tuff

they keep skirmishing us stealing all our italian brainrots alcoholism and all our fine shyt

I dunno if I watched too many anime edits or some shit like that but I saw a ghost coming out of a body but It's probably hallucinations from the lack of fucking water from the instagram reels goon juice energy xx uwu.

Tootle8b8 sided with us but then backstabbed us because the mogging zombies bit his dick off and he slipped into the rizz warp and lost his mind

we cought a traitor from tootle8b8 the traitor we had to execute just said You know "I was on your side of the gun I never asked any questions when you kill me atleast look me in the eye you fucking pussy"

the bodies dropped like my dick when I find out her body count

then we had to fight the moggers the order of porn and the clash royal meme at the river causing the battle of bby gronk we tried to go to san catfish city of catfish scat so we could cover ourselves in it and piss and goon in hotwheel cars to impregnate them and eat the babies because andrew tate podcasts told us so frfr at 3am mach ten exactly juring th epre rizz eclipse

in north of rizzingham in a forest behind the mountain range of rizzberg right next to the river of the freezing grimace shake

I heard the WE ARE CHARLIE KIRK SO hard i gained a stage 7 rizz deficit and got my nuts bitten off by the gay moggers but i was lowkey yeeted and saw tootle getting executed by jim hte dishwahser prophet by using the

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#SMALLBUSINESS #SUPPORTLOCAL #STREETWEAR #SNEAKERHEAD #TECHTOK #GAMINGSETUP #SETUPINSPIRATION #PCBUILDING #RETROGAMING #COSPLAY #ANIME #FANART #DIGITALART #PROCREATE #STREETFOOD #MUKBANG #ASMRFOOD #FOODIE #CHEFSKISS #GRWM #OOTD #DAILYVLOG #WEEKENDVIBES #MESSYHOME #REALLIFE #UNFILTERED #POV #VIBECHECK #NOSTALGIA #CORECORE #NATURECORE #EARTHY #WANDERLUST #TRAVELTOK #STAYCATION #HOMECAFE #GARDENUPDATE #PLANTCARE #AESTHETICLIFESTYLE #DREAMLIFE #MANIFESTING #GOODVIBESONLY #POSITIVEENERGY #ZEN #RELAXING #SATISFYING #ODDLYSATISFYING #DEEPCLEAN #RESTORATION #VINTAGEFIND #ANTIQUE #COLLECTOR #HOBBYIST #CREATIVITY #INSPIRATION #MOTIVATION #SUCCESS #GOALS #HUSTLE #GRIND #STUDYGRAM #READINGLIST #BOOKTOK #LITERATURE #STORYTIME #STORYTELLER #DRAMA #TEA #SPILLINGTHETEA #CHITTYCHAT #YAPPINGTIME #LIVESTREAM #INTERACTIVE #COMMUNITY #FOLLOWME #LIKE #SHARE #VIRAL #TRENDING #EXPLOREPAGE #FORYOU #FYP #GAG #SAB MINECRAFT #ROBLOX #FORTNITE #VALORANT #LEAGUEOLEGENDS #CODMOBILE #WARZONE #ELDENRING #GTAV #FIVEP 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#INVESTING #EDUCATION #SCIENCE #HISTORY #FACTS #LEARNING #AGARTHA #RUCKARUCKA #FF #MINECRAFTTIPS #GAMINGTIPS #EASTEREGGS #THEORIES #ADS #AGARTHAAD #WHOISLIDDY #OILINGTIME #SOAPDROP #RATIODEMON #BANANATPOSE #IKEAWALMART #SCPOHIO #SIGMASKIBIDI #ULTIMATEPEAK #ENDINGLORE #STAYINSOLVENT #DERESETISCOMING #GAbagoon #mario #RICKROLL #DUCKROLL # bromadeastatement#RELEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAASEEEEEEEEEEEEEMEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE #IHAVEPLAYEDTHESEGAMESBEFOREFRFRIHAVEPLAYYEDTHESEGAMESBEFOREISAIDIHAVEPLAYEDTHESEGAMESBEFOREEEEEEEEEEE#GAAAABAGOOOLLLLLL AI #wellwhateverIdidnt

attack this caused tootle8b8 to dissapear in the rizz warp at mach ten frfr

I finally returned home to my discord kitten and well i asked the other copypasta writer to make this part of this megapasta because none of the discord users wanted to make this boring ass part frfr

I swear on my nonna’s burnt lasagna, this city used to be normal.

I used to walk down Via Bombinito with a coffee that didn’t cost half my paycheck. I used to buy groceries without needing a calculator, a prayer, and a small loan from the Vatican. Six digits used to mean I was doing alright. Six digits used to mean I could feed my family, maybe even take a weekend off.

Now six digits means I can afford… bread.
Maybe.
If it’s on sale.
And if I fight three sexy ladies for it.

Every week the prices went up like the city was speedrunning the downfall of Rome. Tomatoes? Gone. Pasta? Extinct. Cheese? Mythical artifact. Even the pigeons started looking at me like they were about to charge rent.

I kept telling myself I could hold on.
That things would stabilize.
That the economy wouldn’t actually fold like a cheap lawn chair.

But then the electricity bill came in and I swear it had more zeros than my GPA.

That’s when I realized:
I can’t feed my family anymore.
Not legally.

So yeah.
I slipped.
I dipped.
I slid into the shadows like a GTA character who forgot that being racist isn't just crime. Crime wasn’t a choice it was the only thing the city hadn’t inflated yet.

And then…
Unnamed General’s army rolled in.

Not marched.
Not invaded.
Rolled in like a parade no one asked for, wearing uniforms crisp enough to slice prosciutto. Los Bombinitos fell in hours. People panicked. The economy panicked harder. Even the pigeons evacuated.

But me?
For the first time in months, I felt something weird.

Pride.

Not in myself I was a walking tax fraud with marinara stains on my shirt.
Not in the city the city was held together with duct tape and prayer.
But in the idea that maybe, just maybe, there was still something worth defending.

So when Jim Dishwasher’s men called for volunteers, I didn’t think.
I didn’t hesitate.
I didn’t even finish my overpriced coffee.

I left my family behind not because I wanted to, but because dragging them into this mess would’ve been worse. They deserved safety. I deserved… whatever this absolute bullshit was.

(bro was not tuff making this part of the copypasta)

I joined the defense of Los Bombinitos.
I fought beside guys who looked like they hadn’t slept since the Great Pasta Shortage of 3am.
We held the line until the line said “ciao” and collapsed like wet spaghetti that was on pornhub the fuck???

And when the city finally fell
when the smoke cleared,
when the streets went quiet,
when the last defenders tapped out like overcooked ravioli
I didn’t run.

I walked forward.

Not toward glory.
Not toward victory.
But because once you’ve lost everything, the only thing left is the next chapter.

And mine was about to get a whole lot more unhinged(and retarded).

and so i asked I stood before the Council of Overdue Bills and Unpaid Parking Tickets of pure rizz and said ohhh mighty yeet god yeetus of feetus what should and shall I do

yeetus feetus said avenge yo fallen brothers by assasinating corrupt politicians, stop propaganda of your image, stop unnamed, and bro basically asked me to hole the earth so i did

but first yeetus feetus said

“MY CHILD…
YOU MUST RESTORE THE BALANCE OF RIZZ.”

I blinked.
Twice.
Possibly three times.

Yeetus continued:

“THE WORLD HAS FALLEN INTO GOONERY.
PROPAGANDA OF YOUR IMAGE SPREADS LIKE DIDIDES BABY OIL ON JUSTINS BEAVER.
THE MOGGED ONES HAVE BROKEN THE TERMS OF SERVICE OF REALITY.”

I defended the holy ciyy of tung tung sahurr for 67 days 67 nights and finally gargamel appeared and started eating the smurfs thats when i knew i finally got enough money to play games in the skibiidihhh arcade i got my tokens to buy a nuclea r teddy bear and nuked the chinese restaurant saving millions of dogs then I WENt into the battlefield and just started summoning bean bags to hit the griddy i sniper shotted Skibidi Senator Payman the unc who did not start a metal gear bossfight but instead collapse the economy so hard thaat the health bar started frying into bacon and butchered the rizzlets and the moggers ate the bodies shitted it out then did the rick and morty dance to summon the THE RIZZ‑TANK 9000: MODEL SKIBIDI‑CENTURION I went what in the fuckery was bro on naming this but i fought it anyways and beat it by grabbing caseoh by the thighs and dipping him into the new clear power plant nearby to nmake him a 600000 or 7000000 ton mutant and he did jumping jacks causing a magnitiude ten pissquake destroing the army of dumbasses and the THE RIZZ‑TANK 9000: MODEL SKIBIDI‑CENTURION i then got the military grade vibrater placed it in my ass and half of the entire worlds politicians just got assasinated by the jews who did kung fu while on drugs the moldovan nut kicking dolphins thanked me and then by the ass gave me hitlers shit but i had to do a james bond movie side plot to recieve it with the shit i tracked down the forbidden painter and he said how the fuck did you get hear african did you use your spear

I said nigga I fucking live in los bombinitos not the fucking jungle book

I got the propgandist but bro being a beta male swallowed his goon juice and died

The swirling vortex of pure rizz and gyatt got me and swallowed me i was then in a pure fever dream of floating dicks entering my ass like dildos on drugs help the dildos aree gay everythings gay everything enters your ass i woke up and with that vision i decided not to go to walmart to get diddled by 32834583498574929045843u foot diddling sticks

then the forbidden painter at court just spammed objection objection so much that socrates materialized out of furry hentai feet pics and said if shit is ur power what is your gender adolf said asseyhole 12 epstien help then epstien started a hoax and drove a plane and with his pencilslop plane destroyed the two ai towers and we realized that a million penguins from madascar were fighting zeus outside because of a low taper fade and then adolf slipped on a bananapeel and fucking died at court ez bro ezzzzzz then all my insolvent pow homies escaped the waterslide and then started summoning satan where i had to parry the sun twice and say skibidi toilet rizz 20918230984239048239048359 times to then get a rile out of redditsrs who kept calling me nick then i lowkey lowkery nuked kim john un killing his entire regime and we finally got all the politiicians assasinayted by the morticians and jews and all the americas gonna fall by iran or some shit like that videos then i lowkey went to ohio street 21093209384239875367 drive and then started brutslly diddling the sink to give birth to the sink babie i ate the babies and scarifcied them to yeetus who awarded me by starting the 1st great grease war and then adolf hitler got revived as a raid boss i beat his ass lowkey by rizz skibidoitingntugn tugn sahurrrs grave and all the ncool fuel refineries all the industry fucking exploded lesgoooooooooo now the empire fall and i gotinfinite vbucks and bitches i won the game gg ezzzzzzzzz I became a samurai and then started slicing and dicing the rug parasite and hitted the dhsiwasher tellinh her ass to get back to the kitchen lowkey frfr and i wwas pissed i wanted my steak i was then yeeted at mach ten off the ship and into the sewage water where i fell through the great dimension of garmin watches and beat the blox fruits boss so many times that reality broke for a moment iand i was in a fever dream for what felt like forever buyt i eventually escaped and fough tht eyeeet gods twice for dominacne over there submissive asses lowkey and i finally harnessed the power of rizz so many times i enslaved the great mog to do my bidding and finally just finally i ungrounded reality to my fucking bidding because i fucking said so timmytuffknucles

I thnn got on a surf board and fought and parried a sperm whale i harvested the sperm to recreate the teenage mutant nonja lobsters to rule the world and bless the baseplatanism religoing for or 7 days enough for the great tung tung sahurrr to say 69 and caseoh would take a shit and ascend to the yeet gods where all the great mogging zombies would be released from there mogs and all problems on the baseplaye would be reverse adopted by gordon ramsey but no no no that diddnnt happen so i asked the yeet gods as an ascended yeet demigod to shut the fuck up bitch and oilup to release the latina baddies from the yeet gods homes and we lowkey solved all evil and solved all them hoes no more epstien but the yeet gods still alt f4ed the universe and now this mororn no retard no idiot named caldruki is gonna hit the griddy and spam sonion not tuff memes to kill tiktok but i timetraveled back in time and space to create an infinite loop of lagginess and suffering in ohio while i was getting my toes licked bu socrates skeleton meme 24/7 while listening to mommy dommy asmr and i was technically in heaven for 9192392801289349191949399939239923929329393993993923992392939988989897898997989798987898 eons until th eend of time and space and i still got to solve the world and watcgh cumming to america 2 for five horus and got too see half life 3 release gta 6 release technobalde ddidnt die a bunch of good stuff but lowkey i missed when i could fark likes spamming gta6 memes and ww3 memes and technoblade never dies frfr

THE END

THE END AGAIN BECAUSE THE 28919273238434138492457 editors we hired are not so sigma alpha males and decixded hey we wanted to reach out here and we sincerely quit pasta making especially since the lead maker of these pastas keeps not including us so e lowkey yes in gta shoved his head in a toilet and he became a skibidi toilet and bit our ahh off when we sat on the toilet but hey its better than spiders in the skibidiididididididajhpdfiebnfjiewuhgbhesfoherngsiubfgridngsuigbdinfughdingdrufgbfjgbrugbfubvgfubgvegbfjbeifaburtbiubiureiufbswguybediuvbstibzsoygaebfgiueahgywurbadiygbwuiegfbsefbeyubdhsfgdyhdgfgdyfgdfygdfydgfydgfydgydfgfyfgfgf ohio rizz tree application alt 4fed kim jong un so much that even his gang said no evan burger revived just to finally push a domino and start a thing so complex even his bullies stopped didling the lunch and finally just finally you guys officiallly get a

THE END

____________________________________________________________________________________________

credits: u/somanynamestochossef and 2 discord servers.

started april 30th completed may 2nd released may 2nd.

and dont forget the copypasta that made this masterpiece possible:

The Three Erm‑What‑the‑Sigma Evils were:

Doge, Lord of Rizzless Terror My pilot to that place

Damn Is😂🎉, Warden of Insolvent Gyatt Frequencies

Metal Pipe, Herald of Goofy Ahh Destruction --- 1st act of porn not clickbait trilogy