u/SomeStandard6480

i have seen so many people oppose feminism for no reason whatsover, it's kinda weird and they share some videos where some people say something bad about men or deny women on men violence or defend some woman criminal.

my response is - they are shitty people, but they are not feminist.

you are not likely to find a feminist online in any forum, you will find them helping victims. in shelters volunteering for children.

i have had experienced trauma early in childhood. i do know what it's like to come out as a male survivor and i have met very shitty people and people so amazing i can't even describe.

to those who oppose feminism? why?

ever since i was born i had been a sexually or physically violated or mentally harassed
father - abused me since i was infant (probably, i don't remember when) but the first memory i have of him is hitting me. my mom caught him abusing him. left the house, and took me to my maternal house. my maternal side was overwhelmingly patriarchical so even the thought of woman going out for work was treated as some sort of high treason against the state. somehow, she managed to find a job. i had an aunt, who used to sexually abuse me. i never told my mom about this. she used to go to her job early in the morning and returned around 8. she was my biggest source of inspiration.
in school i used to get bullied over my stuttering and to some extent my dark skin color. so, this was dilemma for me - if i should go to school, or stay home (with my aunt)

when i was 11, my mother died in an accident. i tried taking the step, but failed. my father somehow had an atom of soul left in his wretched body and took me to my paternal house. gladly i was not abused (atleast i thought so - i had an incident with my paternal aunt, i wouldn't say it was sexual abuse but it was highly inappropriate) my uncle and father usually used to go out of city or state for work, and i was left alone with my grandmother and paternal aunt. they both used to make me do unimaginable amount of physical labour across the house. somehow, i still did my best and got into a tier 2 engg college for which my father paid the fees (another atom of soul in his wretched body) the biggest motivation for me to study, was to make my late mother proud even if she was watching me from heaven.

i currently work a decent job in tech. i fell in love with one of our clients. i was so happy during this time that i forgot everything in my past. i was at the epitome of my happiness. when i thought things were getting serious ( i am delusional), i took the step of explaining my childhood trauma in detail. because i didn't want her to be unaware of my past, and think i was deceving her. i then got to know, i should have been a man and took my stand especially against my aunt, and that men cannot face abuse. she said some more things, which i won't write down. i don't have friends, all the rest of the interactions in my professional life are limited to that segment. i don't contact my college friends (and they are unaware of my childhood trauma as well)

i tried some alcohol for the first time to cope, but ended up puking. i made a friend over reddit, to whom i discussed a lot and i opened up a profile on a dating site (hinge). matched soon afterwards with a cute girl. we went on 2-3 dates, and we both opened up to each other. she told me about her past incidents with her past dates which were rather sexually inappropriate, and how she find me safe. i took a gamble, and opened up to her about everything. she was really supportive and hugged me hard. we are officially a couple (i think from my side, i really didn't ask her :D ) i am really grateful to find a friend and a girl who i like. i am pretty sure, my mom is jumping with hapiness right now.

now the advice part:
it's her birthday, this saturday - please suggest what should i do to make her day special. i never had a great birthday. i want to make her's very special.

Just now, I saw a sub which posted a man being beated by an entire mob. because he was accused of harassment. it's so disturbing, i don't wish to post the video. my heartbeat started racing because I was assaulted in the past by family members . in the comments I thought people will call out this mob mentality, but they seem to be happy about it.

i think people have a huge ego which they won't let go for rationality. they are so patriarchal that they find happiness in literal abuse.

there have been so many incidents where the mob assaulted the wrong man, and sometimes went beyond and literally killed innocents. it's so pathetic to see this.

i deleted my throwaway account because i was getting overwhelmed.
so posting the story again with a little update
ever since i was born i had been a sexually or physically violated or mentally harassed
father - abused me since i was infant (probably, i don't remember when) but the first memory i have of him is hitting me. my mom caught him abusing him. left the house, and took me to my maternal house. my maternal side was overwhelmingly patriarchical so even the thought of woman going out for work was treated as some sort of high treason against the state. somehow, she managed to find a job. i had an aunt, who used to sexually abuse me. i never told my mom about this. she used to go to her job early in the morning and returned around 8. she was my biggest source of inspiration.
in school i used to get bullied over my stuttering and to some extent my dark skin color. so, this was dilemma for me - if i should go to school, or stay home (with my aunt)

when i was 11, my mother died in an accident. i tried taking the step, but failed. my father somehow had an atom of soul left in his wretched body and took me to my paternal house. gladly i was not abused (atleast i thought so - i had an incident with my paternal aunt, i wouldn't say it was sexual abuse but it was highly inappropriate) my uncle and father usually used to go out of city or state for work, and i was left alone with my grandmother and paternal aunt. they both used to make me do unimaginable amount of physical labour across the house. somehow, i still did my best and got into a tier 2 engg college for which my father paid the fees (another atom of soul in his wretched body) the biggest motivation for me to study, was to make my late mother proud even if she was watching me from heaven.

i currently work a decent job in tech. i fell in love with one of our clients. i was so happy during this time that i forgot everything in my past. i was at the epitome of my happiness. when i thought things were getting serious ( i am delusional), i took the step of explaining my childhood trauma in detail. because i didn't want her to be unaware of my past, and think i was deceving her. i then got to know, i should have been a man and took my stand especially against my aunt, and that men cannot face abuse. she said some more things, which i won't write down. i don't have friends, all the rest of the interactions in my professional life are limited to that segment. i don't contact my college friends (and they are unaware of my childhood trauma as well)

now the update : i tried some alcohol for the first time to cope, but ended up puking. i made a friend over reddit, to whom i discussed a lot and i opened up a profile on a dating site (hinge). matched soon afterwards with a cute girl. we went on 2-3 dates, and we both opened up to each other. she told me about her past incidents with her past dates which were rather sexually inappropriate, and how she find me safe. i took a gamble, and opened up to her about everything. she was really supportive and hugged me hard. we are officially a couple (i think from my side, i really didn't ask her :D ) i am really grateful to find a friend and a girl who i like. i am pretty sure, my mom is jumping with hapiness right now.