u/Somewhat_a_believer

What brings me here? I talked to my new neighbour, yesterday and though I'm around two decade younger than him, umm... I felt respected and listened to... I was surprised that he would invite me for a coffee at his house. He was insistent to show me his house, and I couldn't say no. I went in but didn't accept his coffee... Usually people around his age wouldn't treat me as their equals. But this man,ahem uncle... We wished each other good day, and he mentioned it felt nice to talk to me. I felt good, but my mum warned me of the risks. I shared about passing away of my father and He shared his struggles as he lost his father, and that it's possible to a success by hardwork and offered himself as a mentor to talk to. I just am too polite and suffer my own pain and discomfort than to displease anybody... I'm sorry but I can't help being polite, even if it harms me. I have previously been targeted by someone I thought as dear brother, where I hadn't realised manipulation.

I know I need to learn these basic things, but I just am a simpleton at such things. I want to be safe, please give me some wisdom😩

I'm not very sure about this, but was thinking of investing in a good printer. Any advice? Checked printser it's Rs0.60 and i see it now around Rs.4k as shipping charges are added. How can I get things as cheap as possible?

Discovered this during lockdown, and have been using it since then... turned out pretty good during the LPG crisis and now am running on no stove cooking but on induction. Just brought Bergner's triply pan, kadhai and pressure cooker and I'm good to go.

Just conducted the IPIP Big 5 Factor Markers test and here my scores

Extroversion 65

Emotionals ability 1

agreeableness. 82

Conscientiousness 20

Intellect/ Imagination 68

I knew I always struggled with these

things. I don't have words the right words or even feel the right way about things. My marks say it all, I'm really sad at my case... No wonder I was always taken advantage of 😭 and never held the right way... I always felt invisible and always would question myself, for how I feel or ought to feel. My caregivers wouldn't allow me to be even angry/upset since I was a child and so I never developed a voice that could reason healthily.

And as an adult now, I just have become a 'Subaltern'. I can't help even communicate the wrongs done to me, because I don't/can't even point then out without me actually questioning myself.

One of the things that go unsaid but I feel really depressed about is how I can completely neglect myself. It seems like I have no needs at all to ask... Like no desires at all, so self care or rather ingenuine self care. Like I find it so hard to invest for myself and see it as wasting, . People i met taught me to selflessly give myself away or to waste myself for others,... I find it so difficult to do so... Because people have judges me so much in the past, I just can't help... Only self isolation has helped me to survive... But that didn't lead me to life... Everytime I just be me — in all my simplicity, I've met with judgements, and I don't know just why things go wrong. People just begin to find faults with me, and tell me how/where I am falling short. Far from appreciation. I don't have any social circle, and am afraid to venture out. Because all I've experienced in these decades is exploitation, unkindness, selfishness, and rudeness from young and old alike. They offer me no respect for my personality, and my worth. Is it because Is it because I am trying to be humble or grounded that they mistaken my quality? But I've always been the one to whom you'd go for wisdom and advice, and have been the one to drop better ideas. I've been mistaken. One of my good wishes say that it's all because I've not met the right kind of people in my life who could appreciate me. I agree, but I don't know, but I'm learning day by day. Exposure is imp, and I'm glad to see where I stand today.

Was saved 8 years ago...

And this is the conclusion I've come to as of now,

Just believe in God...

And grow in your believing in God, and His revelation as he presents His Character. Okay? Like if He says that He will instruct you, and guide you sling the best pathway for your life; I will advice you and watch your progress. Psalm 32:8

Just simply believe it, okay?

Strongly believe it, okay?

Just take it as it is...

Okay? And Let's Look at David...

How he took God literally, and trusted in Him despite the fact that there was none with such a faith at his contact then .. .

Let's look at his encounter with Goliath, and the way he talked about His God. He knew that His God is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow and that He can be trusted as at present (then) and that God will help and prove Himself as He did years ago through Moses, Joshua and judges. That kid literally valued God's word and trusted it. And there you see.

No don't trust you feelings, they betray

As your own heart does...

But God will never betray,

Come closer to God, and God will come closer to you.

Let's live our lives for Him, who loves us and truly get to know Him.

May to know and live Him be our life's greatest desire and all other cravings for the lists for life pass away.

May we be the ones who are after God's own heart, and prove ourselves to be begotten of Him, who shef his blood and gave away all he had to save us.

To seal our redemption with his own blood, as he hung himself upon the cross bearing our punishment and shame. May He himself fill our minds and we be liberated from the reach of the corrupt of this world.

And Lord In his Grace, gain us all , with full of our hearts being emulated in the fire of his love, and his image at last.

We look to you Lord. We look only to you.

For apart from Thee we can't do a thing ...