u/Somniferous_Sloth

jpc is obviously the best addition in recent history, and cleaning the litter box isn’t even an arduous chore. like, at all! i’m not crazy you’re crazy omg shut up wait wait wait…..did you see that? oh god…the shadow people are coming. quick! grab the sporks!

we’ve all done it. botched an ult, missed an ability, or just did something stupid on accident…but it actually worked out better than what you were trying to do. for example, i was just in busan w/ domina and tried to boop 76 into a wall. missed the wall, sent him down a flight of stairs…directly into hanzo’s dragon and killed him. "uuhhh yyyyyyyeah…totally meant to do that…" <walks away whistling nonchalantly>

i haven’t gotten around to trying out d.mon, but i already like her. yeah it’s annoying being 2-shot when she rushes zen, but i can live with that…if it means for a week or two every single fucking game doesn’t have d.va or hog. now it’s only ~30-40% of games have those braindead hacks, instead of 90%+. which is nice.

i don’t play comp, before yesterday i had < 2 hours out of 500+ total. figured i’d give it a shot for the hell of it, but holy shit i finally see why so many of y’all are such toxic assholes. why do people do this to themselves? both dps players going 1-10…healers with <1k healing…tanks trying to 1v5 the entire match…i’m by no means some OW ubermensch but i know which end of the fucking gun goes ‘bang.’

edit: who says complaining solves nothing? after this post my next group had people that actually know what they’re doing. we’ve won 5/6 so far

just stop it, blizz. if i want to help you with your experiments, i will…but don’t take over the only mode i use for some dumb shit i’d never want to normally play (especially since it’s been like 3 months since tdm has been gone.) it was annoying two weeks ago, but now it’s pissing me off. guess it’s back to stadium again this weekend.

seriously? every match at least one dva? i understand she’s easy mode for hacks who can’t do anything else, but maybe just try something different once in awhile.

since we can’t track hero level progression on the goddamned progression screen anymore (because that made waaaaay too much sense), can we at least see something, somewhere? instead, we have to remember which of the 50 characters are close to leveling for the weekly challenge, and that’s pretty fucking stupid. maybe just like an exp bar during hero selection, or a percentage. i refuse to believe that couldn’t be done when it was present since leveling became a thing and blizz just decided that was too easy.

mine would be e**urylochus. loyal too a fault, sometimes kind of annoying…bites you at the worst time. she probably would be happy as a pig…actually no, circe would turn her into a sloth. she wouldn’t even have to eat the lotus petals to just chill on an island and eat fish all day, calypso would be sick of her shit in like 2 days**

it was the last round of a stadium game, and i’m mercy. i yeet over to our tank and do the flying thing right as the enemy reaper falls to a lower level and does his ult. so i’m as far away as possible from the spinning guns of death, but because i was in his circle i was still immediately killed…while hovering like 70 feet above him. ain’t even mad, but that’s some pretty stupid shit.

there are some genuinely great pre-match dialogues. some of my favorites are moira and jet pack cat, ram and zen, pretty much anything juno says. what are some of your funniest or poignant interactions?

tdm hasn’t been in rotation for like 2 weeks. i’ve been saying for years it should be a permanent fixture but blizz went the opposite way😞

overwatch is still getting new players, which is great! after all these years, there are still people who have no idea what they’re doing. but that’s ok, we have a very supportive community willing to help you through the learning curve. just a few examples of what *not* to do….

1. lucio is not a dive character. that means don’t try to flank the enemy team and try to do…i don’t know what, but just don’t do that
2. widowmaker is not a frontline assault character. you might think it’s a good idea to rush face first into an enemy team and plant a poison mine while shooting wildly at nothing, but it’s not…don’t do that
3. more broad advice…if genji (the guy with the swords) is flinging them around wildly, stop shooting. if zarya (the big scary lady with a russian accent, not the big scary lady with an australian accent) has a big pinkish-purple bubble around her, stop shooting. if the big black dude has his fist in front him, stop shooting. if the floating guy has a little vortex in front of him, stop shooting. if the annoying mech has a weird buncha squares in front of her…wait patiently and then focus fire cuz she sucks, kill her whenever possible.
4. if you play sombra, delete the game

that’s about all i got off the top of my head, y’all feel free to add more constructive advice.

full disclosure, i never played ow1 but did pick up ow2 very close to day 1. i’m curious if og players can tell a difference from old v new players in these throwback matches. i sure as shit can…none of this makes sense and it’s awful.