u/SophiaKai

Hi all, I have a nibling who, in the last year, came out as nonbinary. For context, they turned 12 last week. They also came out as agender a couple of weeks ago. Which I believe falls under the nonbinary umbrella (pls correct me if I'm wrong. I don't know much about it.)

Their parents are trying to be supportive with "you can be whoever or whatever you want to be" though they still misgender their kiddo. However, it has gotten to the point that being agender and being a therian are all they want to talk about. My sister said that they are so hyperfixated on those two things that they rarely talk about anything else. My sister and the nibling's dad say that those topics have become their kid's entire identity.

As the queer adult in their life, I am as supportive as I can be while living in another state. My nibling was supposed to come stay the night with me this week, but I could never get ahold of their dad and my sister wasn't responding to any of the texts I sent her about it as well. Finally I just called my sister yesterday evening to ask if my nibling could come stay the night. She said that right now neither she, nor the dad want their kid spending time with me because they know I will talk about queer stuff with their kid (their dad literally said I'm grooming them) and they are hoping to get their kid to focus on something else in their life. Apparently they are getting bullied about it at school so it has become a thing my sister and the dad are genuinely worried about. Which I understand as a legitimate worry. It's summer break and they're hoping that the time away from school, and no screen time will help them focus on something that *isn't* being queer or being a therian.

When I told my fiance about the convo with my sister he suggested that when my sister is ready I can drive up and spend the night. He also pointed out that as the queer adult in my nibling's life I can also be the one to help them understand that, yes being queer is a big part of our lives but it doesn't have to be our entire life. My sister said she loves the idea, and that she's really glad that I can someone they can look to for things like being queer.

Anyways, do you all have any suggestions to help me/their parents get my nibling to focus on something that isn't those two things?

I've been a Halloween lover my whole life. One of my fondest memories is from a childhood Halloween back in the late 90s. I used to carry a stuffed witch around everywhere when I was a kid lol

But as I've grown I've found myself more and more simply dreaming of Halloween and never really living it. We hand out candy, but we don't decorate aside from a few pumpkins on the porch. We don't dress up, we haven't been to a party since like 2017 or 2018. It feels like the most Halloween-y thing we do anymore is occasionally play Betrayal at the house on the hill.

I miss enjoying the magic of Halloween. I miss being that kid who carried a stuffed witch around. I want to start *living* Halloween. Does anyone have any tips on infusing your year-round life with the best night of the year?

EDIT: I got fired. Not surprised tbh. 🤷😮‍💨

To start off, my principal and a para already got onto me and I went home.

This morning the air quality index was 796 and marked as extremely hazardous. It said everyone would suffer health effects. I panicked because I do front door duty from 7-8 where I let all the kids into a small entryway while we wait for school to start.

Here is the part everyone is gonna hate: in my panic to protect children I brought masks and asked the kids to wear them just until school started at 7:35 everyone was fine with that. Some kids even kept their masks in their backpacks after I told them the principal said to trash them. To me, that makes it their choice and that I'm not forcing them to do anything.

I've been on the verge of a panic attack since 7:00 and it is 8:30 as I'm typing this. I took anxiety meds, but still ended up crying a bit.

My principal got onto me and told me I'm not allowed to do that. She also said if I'm worried about something I should go home and take a sick day. As I cannot in good conscious all children to breathe dangerous air for an hour - hour and a half I went home.

The air quality is back to good, but I am so angry and sad and can't stop crying. To me it is honestly pretty fucked up I can't try to briefly protect children.

Kids will probably tell their parents and I may very well get fired. I love this job (I'm a SPED para) and the school is great, but I literally started working on an up-to-date resume as soon as I got home.