u/Sorry-Ordinary5969

Nobody else in my life is passionate about dogs like I am and I just needed to get this off my chest.

When I say “you” and “you people” I’m not actually talking about the person who is reading this. I am just typing the thoughts that I have in my head regarding the matter. I am not attacking any specific individual but if what I’m saying applies to you then yikes. That’s unfortunate.

Apparently there are “wooly” schnauzers…? You people who want byb mutts (not the ppl who rescue them I’m talking about the ppl who purchase them) like Merle frenchies, fluffy frenchies, those crazy looking bowlegged “pit bulls”, doodle/poo dogs, etc. only want attention, you don’t actually care about the dog because if you did, you wouldn’t support the byb industry and buy genetic and temperamental monstrosities! And sooo many breeds that ppl get who just want to look already don’t fit their lifestyle! And you’d think because it’s a mutt they’d be cheaper but no! I’ve seen bernadoodles going for ALMOST TEN THOUSAND DOLLARSSSSS!! Then the breeders say they’re “health tested” HOW?! They’re mixes!!! It’s really a combination of people being willfully ignorant about unethical breeding and breeders taking advantage of how easy it is to make ppl believe in the legitimacy of their business by throwing around words like “AKC registered”, “royal”, “tea cup”, “purebred”, etc. Like for 10 grand you could get TWO well bred dogs whose parents are titled, excel at whatever performance they might do, and are proven to be healthy.

These people who buy these poor mixes just do it for vanity and status but even then, to meeee, it’s way more impressive to say that you have a rare otter hound that you waited years for, parents have multiple titles, and can only purchase from a handful of breeders from around the world than to say you have a run of the mill backyard bred doodle. Then the doodles are bad asf instead of getting a dog whose temperament will be predictable! Whose EVERYTHING will be predictable! You know exactly what you’re getting when you get a well bred dog from a legit ethical breeder. They can’t even guarantee that the coat will be safe for allergies and that’s partly why the doodle even happened in the first place! That’s not crazy unreliable to yall? That makes no sense to me but whatever it’s yall money I guess it’s your life.

VERY LONG POST!!

I was in a 2 month situationship (for like the 5th time) and it’s starting to weigh on me. I met this someone and we agreed to just be casual, no relationship. She’d take me on dates and spend the night at my place pretty often (she lives with her parents an hour away), and we talked on the phone allll the time. So I hadn’t taken her on a date yet (we’re both girls) but I told her I’d plan a date once we got back from San Diego. So two weeks before our little trip (I live in LA and she lives in the IE), she says that she isn’t ready for a relationship at all and is still not ready to be exclusive and she wants to flirt and kiss other girls but only have grown up time with me.

Pause.

For the past month and a half, SHEEEE has been saying how much she likes me, she can see us together, after the summer we’re going to be exclusive, we’re working towards a relationship, she calls me her girl, her GIRLFRIEND, WIFEY, and is just all around acting like a girlfriend. She even got upset with me a few weeks ago when i jokingly told her “we can’t break up if we aren’t together”. Like she initiated allll of that stuff with me which is far from the understanding we had initially.

So boom, two weeks ago she says she is t ready to be exclusive yet and still wants to play the field since she got out of a 5 year relationship this past September and she’s just not ready for anything serious. She asked how I’d feel if she talked to other girls. I said I’d be annoyed and would want to stop talking to her which I know, is not what we agreed on BUT don’t treat me like a girlfriend then just to pull the rug up from under my feet??? So she’s all upset and I said why would you even tell me what you’re doing anyways?! In the beginning, I explicitly told her that since we aren’t exclusive yet, don’t volunteer any information but if I ask you, then that’s when you be honest. So in my mind it’s like, just don’t freaking tell me if you’re talking to other girls or not omfg. Then I said that since we both want to continue dealing with each other, she needs to stop calling me her girl and girlfriend and she needs to stop putting a timeline on when we’ll be exclusive. I felt like that was fair was it not? She gets sad about that but agrees.

Fast forward to our trip to San Diego two weeks later. Things were fine on my end after that conversation and I was looking forward to our little staycation. Not even 10 minutes after we hit the road, she doubles down on the fact that she doesn’t want a relationship, doesn’t want to be exclusive, just got out of a 5 year relationship, then she’s going on about how she’s not ready for anything serious because she has a lot to work on for herself, her mom is homophobic so she has to be careful (she was outed last year. She hid her 5 year relationship for 4 years until she was outed by her exes dad), and more reasons why she isn’t ready for a serious relationship. So this put me in a sour mood because 1.) we literally already talked about this, whyyy are you bringing it up again and doubling down? And 2.) it made me feel like an old dog eating chocolate and cheeseburgers on the vet to be put down. Like are you soft launching that you don’t want to continue this on the way to SD? This couldn’t have waited at all?? So now I’m in a pretty shitty mood. She just keeps asking me “are you okay” and I say yes but I just couldn’t even express what I was feeling at the time. We get to the hotel, there’s no hugging, reassurance, no real effort to try to make me feel better. Alright. We go on our first date, it’s okay. We go to the hotel and I told her I was sad because of what happened.

We went on a second date on the second night and I cried. She tripled down on everything she said, then said some reasons she doesn’t like me which were: I don’t exercise enough and she’s on a fitness journey (I’m a curvy girl but I’m not fat in the slightest. No shade to the big girls I’m just saying my body looks pretty good) and she wants someone on the same type of timing. I do jog and go on long walks a few times a week but the last week I slacked a bit and she didn’t like that I guess. She also brought up the fact that I haven’t taken her on a date. There was another reason but those were the two biggest ones. Now I did try to take her on a date but she said she can’t go because the date entailed pork and she can’t eat pork (I’m not cultured and didn’t know that specific meat was pork) so I had to figure something else out. Before this even happened I said I’ll be planning next date when we get back from SD so the intention was there 😭. Anyways, I teared up and cried a bit at the table because it made me sad. Then I started thinking about how we probably will stop talking soon. Then I thought about all my other failed situationships over the past few years and it just makes me feel like something is wrong with me. Like I’m so sick of this.

We get back to the room and I cried again. Not boo hoo crying but there were tears streaming down my face. Then she started crying cause she felt bad. I said it’s okay and it’s not her fault, she expressed herself and that’s okay, and that I was crying because of my own wounds, not because of her (partially a lie but I was trying to comfort her). Then we had s\*x which I didn’t really want to do but I wanted to feel close. So boom next morning she’s apologizing again, she says she wants to stop sharing locations and she’s gonna stop calling as much and she says that I’m so sweet, I’m such a great girl, she doesn’t know what’s wrong with her and why she’s like this, I deserve someone better, she doesn’t want to string me along, she feels so bad, blah blah. We had a nice ride home and maybe 4 hours later, I text her and say I need some space for a few days because I’m sad. She says she respects it and that she’s so sorry, she really likes me, I’m so sweet and so nice and so great, and then she says let’s talk when the weekend is over. I say okay and we hang up.

Okay season finale: she calls me today. We say we missed each other. I said I still like her and that we can just date casually as it was intended before now that I know exactly what it is. She said she’s scared to string me along, I said you won’t be because I won’t trust what you say if it gets too relationship-like and that I’ll probs just end up doing my own thing as well. She didn’t really want that and said what’s the point. I said ?? That was what we were supposed to be doing before? I said okay so should we just end it? She starts crying. She says she thinks so because she’s tried of the hour long drive to see me, I’m going to be really busy when the semester starts, she might be busy if she gets a new job, we won’t have a lot of time, she doesn’t want to waste my time cause she knows she won’t be ready for anything serious, she feels so bad, etc. I said okay. She said how do you feel? I said well I feel like this has happened to me enough times to where I’m just kinda like, alrighty. She said but you cried the other day… I said yes I did and I told you it’s because people constantly come to me, say all these things how they want to be together and treat me like they want to be together, then after 2-3 months they realize they don’t want that, tell me I’m so sweet and such a great girl who deserves better, and we have to end it and I’m so sick and tired of that cycle. But I wasn’t crying over YOU. So it’s whatever. She asked me if I hate her (she asked me that multiple times) and I said well you’re not my favorite person! But I don’t think I hate anyone. I hate when ppl ask me that stupid shit. Then she asked if she can pick her shirt up and I said yes and I packed everything she left over here and I’m giving her back the tote bag she got me from Europe.

I’m honestly really hurt about this whole thing because I fell for this AGAIN, I really liked her she seemed so normal and not weird or mean to me and this kinda came out of nowhere, and I just feel like something is wrong with me. I’ve never been in love. The longest relationship I ever had was 8 months and it was with my abusive ex boyfriend in high school which was 7 freaking years ago. I don’t bother anybody or seek anyone out, they come to ME and disturb ME. Im just so tired of this and I’m crying as I’m typing this because I just feel like I’m not good enough for anyone. It’s like I’m fun for 2 months and then it’s “I wish I met you at a different time” “you’re so pretty and sweet you deserve someone better” “I want to work on myself before I get into anything serious because I wouldn’t be giving you my best self” and “you’re so perfect I wish I was different. I don’t know what’s wrong with me”. That’s all I hear all the time and it’s sooo hard not to believe that it’s just me. Idk, I’m used to this but it still hurts my feelings so much.