u/Spare_Equipment3116

Hi! So I’ve been prescribed contrave as a weight loss measure as part of my clinics attempt to find a way to help me live with long COVID.

I used to be fairly active, and that’s changed unfortunately for the worse. I’m mostly housebound and often bedbound, which has led to de-conditioning, making my ability to walk at the weight I’m at(250 pounds) difficult, when it both used to not be, and the fact a lot of the weight gain is due to my inability to do the exercise I used to. I also have PEM(post-exertional malaise), which makes any exercise I accomplish crash me for days. I had a walk on Monday, 2000 steps(not much I know), that led to 3 days of intense fatigue and bed rest.

I’m aware contrave works best if paired with activity. I was seeing some initial success, dropping to 247, week 1 into 2. But since, despite the fact I’m trying to eat under 1500 calories a day, I’m back to 250. Now, to be fair, it has been an unexpectedly stressful week, so I’m almost sure it could be due to stress. I’m avoiding overly fatty foods, not eating junk, etc.

But I’ve seen that the best results come with exercise. I’m going to let my medication run its course up to 15 weeks, and check in with my clinic then. I do know that results can come later, as well.

How intense does the cardio have to be for best results? I would love to try and push to the limit of where PEM begins to crash me, but that envelop is absolutely tiny, and if exercise isn’t going to be possible to the degree it’s needed, I could use some advice as to if I should discontinue early or trust the process haha.

My cravings are significantly less, and weirdly I wasn’t much of a eater before; I was eating less then 1500 calories, and only once a day, and my only change has been trying small tiny meals 3 times a day instead. Being bedbound a lot of the time, I rely on family to eat and if I can’t get up that day to make food and they are gone, I just don’t eat. Which you would IMAGINE would help with weight loss but it’s not.

Any tips?

So I have BPD, but my psychiatrist said I fit all the signs for remission and flagged it on my chart. I’m proud of the progress I’ve made, but as many of you can probably attest, second-guessing yourself a bit can happen. And I can end up doing that fairly often.

BUT sometimes I do something naturally that I picked up in therapy and apply it, and only after does the brain start going “hey wait, this should be REALLY scary!” And it’s like, brain, my guy, my dood, it reeeeeally isn’t.

So the TL/DR, she had to cancel a check in today, and instead of me taking it as an obvious “I did something, she’s mad, panic” moment, I went “brain, wut r u doin?” And rationally thought it over and doing great. More context below if you want it, as I’m unfortunately in full “this is a good moment for me” mode.

So I’ll try to be brief(I will fail), Basically, my partner(we have an unconventional relationship setup, works for us) is long distance as I have a physical health condition that keeps me grounded in another place as I seek care, and she’s somewhere else. And she had to cancel our weekly check in. We do text daily, but calling we save for once a week, more on vacation periods(she works a job that gets regular government vacations off). She was really tired after a function she did in her community as a volunteer, and said something to the effect of “I’m really tired”, and I fully believed it, instead of being a gremlin about it.

Now, this is extra complicated as she was an Ex. She is RIDICULOUSLY chronically OFFLINE, and when we reconnected, I mentioned “hey so while we were apart, I got diagnosed with BPD but it’s in remission”. She had ZERO idea what it was, looked it up, went “wow that looks like it sucks, but you said you improved.” And she’s like “why would I believe internet people over you, lol.” Iconic. She’s got a science background so she wanted empirical science, not scare-mongering.

And during that previous relationship? I was REALLY insecure, often asked for reassurances, etc, and she got really sick of offering it. When we broke up, it was amicable but we took space as I clearly had “something” going on. And it was a long, nearly a decade long, relationship, so you can imagine this was a rupture.

But, when we reconnected, we had learned things about ourselves, and so had she. She’s aroace, and so, my primary concern, that she would “leave for someone better”, was entirely beyond her logic. Her blunt “why?” Back then made no sense. It does now. We have a QPR, so it’s not a romantic relationship, but we intend to live together and do a lot of the domestic stuff, just as more life partners. This is a core relationship. And knowing she has less then zero interest in trading up, less then zero interest in dating at all, but wants me central in her life? That’s amazing for me.

But crucially, it’s not my only core relationship anymore. I now have a really tight network of close, good friends who are ride-or-die, and have seen me at my worst and best, and want me around anyways. Honestly, life IS good for me right now.

So when she cancelled, I could, now, think it over rationally. She’s very tired. She’s probably a bit burnt out, as she’s not a social person(when we are in person, she outsources it to me lmao), and she struggles to text her other friends commonly as she’s very secure, happy, and trusts they’ll be fine, so she only texts occasionally, as her core group lives closer to me. She’s content. She’s a bit of a loner to a degree but is EXTREMELY loyal to those she chooses.

So why, why would I think ONE cancellation was worth worrying about? I simply texted back “rest up!” And let her, crucially, rest.

The small angry guy with a microphone at the back of my brain going “this is OBVIOUSLY bad! She hates you! You must catastrophically blow this out of proportion!” is still there, only the rest of my brain is going “bro, stfu, I’m trying to think about Warhammer.”

And I’m just, so, so happy my brain is cooperating. Oh my god. I passed the test. It’s like Galadriel choosing to go West. Gah!

Thanks for reading, if you got this far. I just needed to share a win with people who might get it!

So I’m on a few medications, and one causes(as a reason men usually take it) vastly increased libido.

I 100% do not need this. I’m emphatically not having a good time. How do people function like this? Usually it’s like…not an issue.

Now, clarification: I’m on this medication for the other, much needed health benefits. Unlike a lot of dudes getting it through clinics for sexual wellness or muscles, I’m getting it because I’m practically bedridden and need the boost it offers, and my condition makes the thing these meds boost, much higher as a primary reason. It’s also directly responsible for libido.

Unfortunately, I’m Demi. My partner is long distance, my medical care is so necessary that I’m in another province to receive care. We have been together a very long time, none of what is going on here is causing relationship woes. Only, she’s aroace lmao. We are in queerplatonic relationship. She’s great. Occasionally I fire off a text right now that looks like a teen wrote it(we are in our 30’s), and then i immediately go “sorry, you don’t need to do anything about this.”

But straight up? I would gladly, happily, tie my sex-drive onto a rocket and fire it directly into the sun, and I would be happier for it lmao. This level of outrageous horny energy is not needed. And with my illness, cold showers are inadvisable.

She’s not here! Sex is rare, and frankly I don’t really mind that. My brain is very much like “pragmatically, this is an excellent situation”, my heart is “you’ve loved this girl forever, she is very good to you even if she loved differently. My dick however has me writing sonnets and waxing philosophical.

I should note, this isn’t bothering her. In fact, her primary complaint is that I’m not just “taking care of it”. Lady, it isn’t that easy! This is causing yearning I don’t frigging need right now lol.

What most men would do? Watch porn I guess. But no, that’s not something that works for me. It’s making me miss her in a down catastrophic fashion that I’m choosing to deal with by making it funny. My fellow Men WANT this level of drive? What do you even DO with this? Even if she was here, suddenly into it all the time, there is more to life then sex! At least, that’s what I normally say, when I’m not being rocketed from my normal “bad” libido to whatever this is.

The irony is if she was closer, I can get the vibe when she’s game for it or not. Usually not. And because she’s a core pillar, my body behaves. It goes “yeah no fam, stand down.” That’s ideal!

But because she’s isn’t here, and her explicit instructions were “my guy, you have pictures. Just use them lol.” And my Catholic guilt having ass is like “that’s wrong.”

I do not like this libido. I would like to return it.