u/SpeakLifeOrSpeakNot

Anyone else going to Secret Dreams in Marengo? I have to see Pretty Lights. Going solo on Saturday is my plan.

First LL and I am VERY excited. I’ve also never done a camping festival before and my camping guru has recently fired me, so I am now attempting to figure out how to keep myself alive, cute, reasonably clean, fed, and comfortable in a field for several days.

I have an extensive list with check boxes and sections lol. Still soo many questions.

MY FITS: 3 outfits a day plus loungey clothes. How the heck to I find out if we’re doing big group themes or do I have to just twin with my friend? (Plan on making friends, sending prayers to the PLUR Gods for that)

Bathroom situation: Porta-potties freak me tf out. The VIP ones I’ve encountered at other festivals have definitely been better, but I’m still contemplating a Lowe’s bucket + kitty litter situation or buying one of those little portable camping toilets. I need somewhere at camp where I can comfortably do ALL of my business if necessary. Camping veterans, tell me what actually works and what is a terrible idea before I create a biohazard.

FOOD: I eat like a rabbit despite looking like I have much heartier dietary requirements. I’m perfectly happy grazing on fruit, veggies, snacks, little sandwiches, etc. I don’t know how elaborate I need to get with cooking at camp versus bringing easy food and buying a meal or two inside. Cooler wisdom is especially welcome.
Still figuring out the party-favor department. I know what I’d *like* to bring, but procurement is another question entirely. Mushies will certainly be making an appearance

Party Favors: My connections to the 4 things that make my fun FUN, now has dwindled to 2 of 4… don’t wanna purchase at the fest obviously. So working on that before sept. Lord a good connnect is hard to find.

Also, I have already constructed a GIANT DANDELION that I’m considering turning into my totem. I may make another one in pink so it’s easier to distinguish from any other giant flowers floating about.

My excitement level was approximately 147% last week. Life threw me a little plot twist because I originally thought I’d be doing this with my rave bae, and now I’m recalibrating my brain around that. BUT I’m still genuinely excited to experience LL with my friend, and I’m determined to get myself ramped right back up. Also was asked to be a side quest lol with bloom babies… funners, just gotta get my mind right lol.

Soo to my Vets: What saved your ass? What did you bring that was completely unnecessary? What do you wish somebody had told you before your first camping festival?
Especially looking for camp setup/comfort, food/cooler strategy, shoes and surviving the hills, shower/bathroom logistics, power/charging, weather prep, and all the random little things

I was telling the guy I’ve been dating for about 8 months about a very stressful and emotionally taxing day. I’m crying, sad, and sharing my feelings, he asked me, “if I have a therapist”.

For context, yes and I’ve told him before I do have a therapist. I am generally rather emotionally stable and well regulated. I try not to trauma dump on people. I am not perfect. I do over share in my safe spaces. I also thought this was a safe space for me.

Am I tripping?. Maybe it was the man brain attempt at fixing it? I’ve had that experience of wanting to fix the problem, rather than just support, from other men in my life. This didn’t feel like that.

I’ve (42F) been dating a guy (45M) for 3 quarters and we covered 2 different fiscal years. We are not exclusive. We met on an app and I was clear on what I wanted out of the gate, with the understanding of things happen organically. It felt like we were in agreement about that.

So I’ve been very ok with moving slow, I’ve had my feelings hurt and ppl are weird. Definitely been a slow, but comfortable progression of us spending more time and doing more things. We’ve traveled. We go on dates regularly. We cuddle and lay up, not overly kissy huggy. I called him cute names a few times, he usually goes with miss or ma’am.

The sexual intimacy is absolutely fire…maybe the best I’ve ever had. I certainly believe we’re both enjoying ourselves. The personal intimacy, well it’s different. I wouldn’t say he is guarded, actually feels very transparent. However, personal details and the intimacy that comes with being integrated into someone’s life, doesn’t seem to be there. My family and friends all know who he is and he has met a couple of my friends at various events. I have not met anyone I would say is substantial in his life, tho I have met a couple people he hangs with. In reality he could have 10 women and 5 men.

Fast forward to today, I planned to ask where is this going? How is he feeling? While watching his phone on the TV he got a text from Meghan asking what’s going on. I do not feel like I’m in a position to question him and won’t. Also feel a couple other ways:

1. I’m here, we’re having a great night, after a great day
2. God reveals
3. If he wanted to he would
4. Maybe he is sexually interested in me but not romantically
5. Or maybe he’s a turtle

Am I being old school to expect a man to initiate the relationship? By no means will I assume we are exclusive without having that convo. I haven’t dealt with anyone since we started sleeping together, not really set up to entertain multiple men.

I understand I need to walk away before I get big feelings for someone who is not on the time I’m on. And in my mind, the convo has now changed to, I need to move on bc once my feels are involved (bigger than they are or I admit them bc I really do like him). I will not pretend I could just be his friend, tho he is such an exceptional human, I couldn’t kick it with someone who didn’t reciprocate my feelings. That’s a set up for me.

Should I be out here initiating the “are we there yet” conversation or am I right to think, if he wanted to he would.